katiegrl Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 She will get back to you but intentionally much later. No one goes 8 hours on a Saturday without using their phone. I usually have my phone with me even when I am super busy... Just sayin... By the way ff, what did your follow up text say? You don't have to say if you don't want ...I'm just curious...
preraph Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Unless she senses he is somewhat of a "player" (for lack of a better word)...as spiderowl suggested. And by player I just mean a man who dates ALOT, juggles, multi-dates whatever we wish to call it...and let's face it, fitnessfan is quite the ladies man and a smooth operator.. I don't mean that in a negative sense..at least not in his case ...but some women *are* leary of such men.. Her spidey senses may be playing into this, but who knows. I kind of think anyone on OLD might have their antennae up about players on literally every guy they meet there. After all, they are meeting women on a dating site, hunting and chatting and trying to see them. That's pretty much the definition of playing.
katiegrl Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 I kind of think anyone on OLD might have their antennae up about players on literally every guy they meet there. After all, they are meeting women on a dating site, hunting and chatting and trying to see them. That's pretty much the definition of playing. Perhaps Gaeta can address this since she does a lot of OLD. I don't and haven't in years...so I don't know. Years ago, when I "did" meet men on line ...I had no trouble differentiating between the men who wanted to "play" and the men looking for a long term relationship. OLD has changed a lot since then though ...so perhaps you're right.
Gary S Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Great details on your date, Fitnessfan! If everybody would write down their gut feelings so well, we would have perfect answers for them all. - She insisted on paying for her half of the bowling - going dutch does not mean anything much anymore.... everyone is so confused about the "who pays" issue, it's not a good indicator. Did she pay because she's not interested in you and did not want to feel obligated? Or was she just being nice? Who knows, flip a coin. - Multiple times she rushed to open her own door . - These young ladies are quick, aren't they?! I usually say, "Hold on, I'll get that" - Even though she stressed she had such a fun time, she was quick to initiate a goodbye hug Also, maybe she is a woman that just isn't comfortable kissing on a first date. But in most cases, if a woman's attracted she will make it possible for a guy to kiss her on a first date. When a woman is quick to initiate a hug, it's to prevent a guy from kissing her. From the list of pro's, her interest level seems genuine on paper. But my instincts on an actions speak louder than words level are telling me she just wasn't feeling it. - I learned something new today. - When I said "we should do this again" she says "Definitely, I'll be in touch" which sounds like a total blow off line. . - Yup. Translation: "Don't call us, we'll call you", which means she'll never talk to you again. - Laughing the whole night even at things that weren't that funny - This alone tells the tale... the reason you are having trouble reading her is, she's a great actress... if she were a real actress, she could win an academy award. She's in the wrong profession! She's a savvier dater than you or I am. I would not touch her with a ten-foot pole, I don't care how long her legs are... she'll break your heart. If she were interested... which she's not. Don't feel bad, dating and relationships are primarily a woman's realm. Guys just go along for the ride (good for you ladies!). 1
Gaeta Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Perhaps Gaeta can address this since she does a lot of OLD. I don't and haven't in years...so I don't know. Years ago, when I "did" meet men on line ...I had no trouble differentiating between the men who wanted to "play" and the men looking for a long term relationship. OLD has changed a lot since then though ...so perhaps you're right. Like in my first post, I think she is FF alter ego, she recognized his game (not in a negative sense here) and she is playing her best game as well. I'd be very surprise if she is new at OLD. Sometimes it's hard to ID if a man is playing you or he is genuine. The new game online is for players to hit on women in 'serious relationship' section. I met a few of those and asked them why they don't go after women looking for hook ups, the OLD is full of them, they all replied they won't have sex with these women, better play a woman in the 'serious relationship section'.
Gaeta Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 - This alone tells the tale... the reason you are having trouble reading her is, she's a great actress... if she were a real actress, she could win an academy award. She's in the wrong profession! She's a savvier dater than you or I am. I would not touch her with a ten-foot pole, I don't care how long her legs are... she'll break your heart. If she were interested... which she's not. That is exactly my feeling
jen1447 Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 By the way ff, what did your follow up text say? You don't have to say if you don't want ...I'm just curious... He said "I look forward to the next sexy 100 you bowl." 2
katiegrl Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Great details on your date, Fitnessfan! If everybody would write down their gut feelings so well, we would have perfect answers for them all. - going dutch does not mean anything much anymore.... everyone is so confused about the "who pays" issue, it's not a good indicator. Did she pay because she's not interested in you and did not want to feel obligated? Or was she just being nice? Who knows, flip a coin. - These young ladies are quick, aren't they?! I usually say, "Hold on, I'll get that" - I learned something new today. - Yup. Translation: "Don't call us, we'll call you", which means she'll never talk to you again. - This alone tells the tale... the reason you are having trouble reading her is, she's a great actress... if she were a real actress, she could win an academy award. She's in the wrong profession! She's a savvier dater than you or I am. I would not touch her with a ten-foot pole, I don't care how long her legs are... she'll break your heart. If she were interested... which she's not. Don't feel bad, dating and relationships are primarily a woman's realm. Guys just go along for the ride (good for you ladies!). ^^Now THIS is the Gary we know and love...where the hell have you been!!!!:bunny: Awesome post! 2
Gary S Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Thank you katie... for the bunnies too It's just because Fitnessfan is so intuitive and knowledgeable, he gave me a lot to work with in his OP. 1
Author fitnessfan365 Posted May 10, 2015 Author Posted May 10, 2015 We both root for the Detroit Lions so I sent : I had fun last night! Finally a Lions cheerleader I'm attracted to. ;-) 1
Author fitnessfan365 Posted May 10, 2015 Author Posted May 10, 2015 You missed the head pin didn't you I never miss the head pin.
Gloria25 Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 While I see where she's coming from - the whole going dutch, hugging, and saying 'don't call me, I'll call you'...Me, being a recovered femenazi and "Classic Femenist" have learned the error of my ways and if I was interested I would of: -Offered to pay, but if you insisted, I would have let you paid. -Not, go in for a hug, but a full blown kiss that includes tongue. Now, even "if" you still just wanted a "hug", I would have ramped it up a bit by rubbing your a bit while we were hugging -I would have given you my tel and probably texted you the next day to let you know I enjoyed the date and looked forward to the next one. So, in sum, regardless of my independence, if I'm interested in a guy - I'm not gonna insist on going dutch, I will not limit the date to one drink/coffee, I will make physical contact beyond a hug, and I'm giving you my tel and even texting you the next day. But still, there's a lot of misguided "independent" women out there, so I say give her a few days to a week...if you don't hear from her, give her a ring and if she doesn't answer just let her know you were interested in setting up a 2nd meet and see if she bites.
Toodaloo Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 I never miss the head pin. I usually miss the whole lot... this is clearly where I have been going wrong... Must take up bowling...
Auspecial Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Haha.. In a weird way I actually liked it. Even though she was beyond gorgeous and that accent of hers drove me nuts, I was genuinely able to just focus on her company. I was so wrapped up in the conversation, and how many things we had in common, that it was a nice change of pace. Plus, she was teasing me, being really playful, initiating physical contact from time to time, laughing at everything, and even joked about sex. Now as I said, her wanting to go dutch and open her own door could just be written off to her being the independent type. Also, she told me a bad online dating story where a guy gave her a ride back to her car and said she could get out when she kissed him. She ended up slapping him. So I think she genuinely just doesn't like to kiss on a first date. Still though, I am so used to being the gentleman, leading, and kiss closing when I am attracted that it makes me feel a bit uneasy. Then again, life doesn't always fit into a box either. I could relate to this version of analyzing her actions. For me, I have always been somewhat reserved (never shy at all) and after quite a lot of not-great experiences, I am even more reserved about who I want to have physical contact with. I may be "thinking" about the possibility of kissing someone, but also knowing that too soon is not right for me, so knowing I am not going to do that "right now." It is not a game. If the guy is able to hang in there until I am comfortable, then its a win/win. Some expect being fast physical, others "think" if a woman doesn't do xyz, then there is no interest.
Toodaloo Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 that accent of hers drove me nuts, Stuff a few plums in her mouth winks and says... Hello Fitness... How you doing???
Auspecial Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 It's just not who I am Katie. I am direct and go after what I want. Instead of sitting around waiting, I'd rather just cut to the chase and be done with it. If I want to see a woman again, I always send a follow up text the next day. If she responds, I let her know that I'll call her soon. If she doesn't respond, I take it at face value and walk away. But better to know after one day, then sitting around indefinitely being in limbo IMO. I mean let's be real. If a woman likes a guy, she is not going to hold it against him for following up the next day. If it does, she isn't interested anyways. If these are your terms, I think you should go ahead and act on these, rather than waiting for her to call.
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