fitnessfan365 Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 Had a GREAT time last night with a gorgeous British woman. We went bowling and the conversation just flowed. Amazed at how much we have in common on almost every level. But here's the thing folks. For the first time in FOREVER, this was a woman I could just not read. The pros : - Laughing the whole night even at things that weren't that funny - Asked questions and took an interest in getting to know me better - She kept teasing me and being playful - Was very receptive to physical contact and initiated a bit of her own - She initiated a sexually based comment- "They say when you miss the head pin it's seven years bad sex" - After bowling, she continued the conversation to extend the date and wasn't quick to leave right away. The cons : - She insisted on paying for her half of the bowling - Multiple times she rushed to open her own door - Even though she stressed she had such a fun time, she was quick to initiate a goodbye hug - When I said "we should do this again" she says "Definitely, I'll be in touch" which sounds like a total blow off line. ** Now maybe since she is a career woman, she's just really independent. So that's why she wanted to go dutch and open her own doors. But since I am a gentleman it made me uneasy. Also, maybe she is a woman that just isn't comfortable kissing on a first date. But in most cases, if a woman's attracted she will make it possible for a guy to kiss her on a first date. When a woman is quick to initiate a hug, it's to prevent a guy from kissing her. From the list of pro's, her interest level seems genuine on paper. But my instincts on an actions speak louder than words level are telling me she just wasn't feeling it.
Gaeta Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 I think you just found your alter ego. She knows her game as much as you know yours and she is playing it to perfection. Isn't she keeping you on your toes? keeping you wondering? wanting more? Yep! she is playing a darn good game. It will be interesting to see how this unfold 3
Jessie1231 Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 I dated a British guy for a while. That accent was the thing I loved most about him. Anyway, it's hard to say. The sexual thing she said sounds like something I would say randomly to anyone. But the touching part is definitely something I never do if I'm not interested. However, going in for a hug is something I do if I'm not interested and don't want the awkward avoiding a kiss moment. Have you heard from her? Because if I'm interested I always contact after the date (usually the same night) saying thanks and let's do it again. If I'm not interested, I don't do that.
alphamale Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 can i have her number if you aren't going to date her? 3
Author fitnessfan365 Posted May 9, 2015 Author Posted May 9, 2015 Haha.. In a weird way I actually liked it. Even though she was beyond gorgeous and that accent of hers drove me nuts, I was genuinely able to just focus on her company. I was so wrapped up in the conversation, and how many things we had in common, that it was a nice change of pace. Plus, she was teasing me, being really playful, initiating physical contact from time to time, laughing at everything, and even joked about sex. Now as I said, her wanting to go dutch and open her own door could just be written off to her being the independent type. Also, she told me a bad online dating story where a guy gave her a ride back to her car and said she could get out when she kissed him. She ended up slapping him. So I think she genuinely just doesn't like to kiss on a first date. Still though, I am so used to being the gentleman, leading, and kiss closing when I am attracted that it makes me feel a bit uneasy. Then again, life doesn't always fit into a box either. 1
katiegrl Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 I hate to generalize, but British people are very reserved, at least until they get to know you and feel more comfortable with you. But maybe just do what you advise others to do...keep dating others, and don't give it a second thought. After one meet, she shouldn't even be a blip on your radar! Lol Since *she* said she would be in touch, then I would not call her... Stay cool!!!
katiegrl Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 Haha.. In a weird way I actually liked it. Even though she was beyond gorgeous and that accent of hers drove me nuts, I was genuinely able to just focus on her company. I was so wrapped up in the conversation, and how many things we had in common, that it was a nice change of pace. Plus, she was teasing me, being really playful, initiating physical contact from time to time, laughing at everything, and even joked about sex. Now as I said, her wanting to go dutch and open her own door could just be written off to her being the independent type. Also, she told me a bad online dating story where a guy gave her a ride back to her car and said she could get out when she kissed him. She ended up slapping him. So I think she genuinely just doesn't like to kiss on a first date. Still though, I am so used to being the gentleman, leading, and kiss closing when I am attracted that it makes me feel a bit uneasy. ***Then again, life doesn't always fit into a box either***. SO TRUE!!!!! :bunny:
Author fitnessfan365 Posted May 9, 2015 Author Posted May 9, 2015 Have you heard from her? Because if I'm interested I always contact after the date (usually the same night) saying thanks and let's do it again. If I'm not interested, I don't do that. To be honest, NONE of the women I date ever send a post first date text. Yet, I get second dates and beyond 90% of the time. So I am not doubting that some women like to do a post first date text as a sign of interest. However, I think that it's one of those things that has been blown out of proportion on how many women actually do it. The way that I see it, is that a woman is showing interest by having a second date with me.
Gaeta Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 ** Now maybe since she is a career woman, she's just really independent. So that's why she wanted to go dutch and open her own doors. But since I am a gentleman it made me uneasy. Also, maybe she is a woman that just isn't comfortable kissing on a first date. But in most cases, if a woman's attracted she will make it possible for a guy to kiss her on a first date. When a woman is quick to initiate a hug, it's to prevent a guy from kissing her. From the list of pro's, her interest level seems genuine on paper. But my instincts on an actions speak louder than words level are telling me she just wasn't feeling it. On a side note: I want to make a comment about this. It's not because a woman is in a position of power at work that she enjoys the same dynamic in her personal life. It's known phychology that we control in life what we can therefore a woman in a position of power at the office is 'control fullfilled' and will be happy to surrender power in her personal life. I control and make decisions all day long at the office, when I get out of there I am happy to hand it all to a nice gentleman that will take over. On the other hand a person that is submitted to control at the office, doesn't have as much power as she wished, will turn around and control other aspects of her life to fulfill her control needs and will end up controlling what she can: her relationships. Ever wonder why in Sub-Dom play the one playing sub is often a person of power in his-her daily life. As for this woman here I think all of her moves were calculated. 1
Author fitnessfan365 Posted May 9, 2015 Author Posted May 9, 2015 On a side note: I want to make a comment about this. It's not because a woman is in a position of power at work that she enjoys the same dynamic in her personal life. It's known phychology that we control in life what we can therefore a woman in a position of power at the office is 'control fullfilled' and will be happy to surrender power in her personal life. I control and make decisions all day long at the office, when I get out of there I am happy to hand it all to a nice gentleman that will take over. On the other hand a person that is submitted to control at the office, doesn't have as much power as she wished, will turn around and control other aspects of her life to fulfill her control needs and will end up controlling what she can: her relationships. Ever wonder why in Sub-Dom play the one playing sub is often a person of power in his-her daily life. As for this woman here I think all of her moves were calculated. This is true and it makes sense. A woman in power will want to have one place in her life where she is taken care of for a change. So that does make sense. But if a woman is naturally independent and doesn't like to be defined by traditional gender roles, she could like going dutch and opening doors as a sign of her independence. 3
katiegrl Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 To be honest, NONE of the women I date ever send a post first date text. Yet, I get second dates and beyond 90% of the time. So I am not doubting that some women like to do a post first date text as a sign of interest. However, I think that it's one of those things that has been blown out of proportion on how many women actually do it. The way that I see it, is that a woman is showing interest by having a second date with me. The difference here though is that SHE said *she* would be in touch. So the ball is in HER court. Respect her boundaries, and wait for her to contact you.... If she doesn't, you have your answer...she's not that interested. 2
Gaeta Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 This is true and it makes sense. A woman in power will want to have one place in her life where she is taken care of for a change. So that does make sense. But if a woman is naturally independent and doesn't like to be defined by traditional gender roles, she could like going dutch and opening doors as a sign of her independence. It could be her age and she is still trying to define herself as a woman and has this blurry-surface notion that male-female equality is defined by who opens doors . How old is she?
katiegrl Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 This is true and it makes sense. A woman in power will want to have one place in her life where she is taken care of for a change. So that does make sense. But if a woman is naturally independent and doesn't like to be defined by traditional gender roles, she could like going dutch and opening doors as a sign of her independence. I am about as independent as they come, and I love when men I date pay and open doors for me. It's very gallant, and that quality is very appealing to me no matter how independent I am... If I was clearly not into a guy, I would want to pay for myself though...I still think it's nice for men to open doors for me, if they enter first. If I enter first, then I hold the door for them! Common courtesy..... 2
Author fitnessfan365 Posted May 9, 2015 Author Posted May 9, 2015 The difference here though is that SHE said *she* would be in touch. So the ball is in HER court. Respect her boundaries, and wait for her to contact you.... If she doesn't, you have your answer...she's not that interested. It's just not who I am Katie. I am direct and go after what I want. Instead of sitting around waiting, I'd rather just cut to the chase and be done with it. If I want to see a woman again, I always send a follow up text the next day. If she responds, I let her know that I'll call her soon. If she doesn't respond, I take it at face value and walk away. But better to know after one day, then sitting around indefinitely being in limbo IMO. I mean let's be real. If a woman likes a guy, she is not going to hold it against him for following up the next day. If it does, she isn't interested anyways. 1
brokengirl85 Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 She seems very masculine. Not sure why you feel attracted to that. 1
Author fitnessfan365 Posted May 9, 2015 Author Posted May 9, 2015 She seems very masculine. Not sure why you feel attracted to that. That's why I am uneasy about it. I am old school, a gentleman, assertive, dominant, etc.. My preference is for feminine women that like more traditional gender roles. But I did just meet her. So for all I know, she handles herself differently in the beginning when getting to know a guy then she would as time progresses. Since we have so much in common, and she is extremely attractive physically, it is at least worth it for me to follow up and see if a second date happens. If she continues to act like an independent feminist, she is not for me. But there's no harm in feeling it out a bit more. I think society as a whole has become so focused on instant gratification that they jump ship if things don't go according to plan right away.
katiegrl Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 It's just not who I am Katie. I am direct and go after what I want. Instead of sitting around waiting, I'd rather just cut to the chase and be done with it. If I want to see a woman again, I always send a follow up text the next day. If she responds, I let her know that I'll call her soon. If she doesn't respond, I take it at face value and walk away. But better to know after one day, then sitting around indefinitely being in limbo IMO. I mean let's be real. If a woman likes a guy, she is not going to hold it against him for following up the next day. If it does, she isn't interested anyways. Okay, then I take back what I said, and do what your nature tells you to do... She will either respond positively ....or she won't! Right? Let us know!
compulsivedancer Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 Did you and your girlfriend break up? I swear you had one a week or two ago... 1
katiegrl Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 Did you and your girlfriend break up? I swear you had one a week or two ago... They broke up a few weeks ago...he posted about it...
spiderowl Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 My guess is that she's sensed you have a lot of experience with women (which you fully admit on here) and that she's figured out she might just be another notch on the bedpost for you. If she's attractive and interesting, she will have had plenty of guys chatting her up and will be wise to the signs. If she's only there temporarily too she's not going to want to get too involved with anyone as there is no point. Sounds like she wasn't going to let you have control of the situation whatever her motives were. If she's hoping to meet the man of her dreams one day, then she will need to spot the charming fitness guys who date all the pretty women sequentially. Maybe she's just wise.
preraph Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 She may be going on a lot of dates and just be trying to avoid the common pitfalls by controlling certain aspects of it. I wouldn't prejudge her for that. I would just ask her out again and get to know her better. I have a feeling that if she decides you have potential, some of that cautionary dating behavior may dissolve.
Author fitnessfan365 Posted May 10, 2015 Author Posted May 10, 2015 Sent her a follow up text this morning. No response as of eight hours later. It is Saturday so she may be busy. Chances are though that my instincts were on the money as suspected. So if she eventually reaches out, great. Otherwise, at least I got to have a fun night bowling. 2
katiegrl Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 She may be going on a lot of dates and just be trying to avoid the common pitfalls by controlling certain aspects of it. I wouldn't prejudge her for that. I would just ask her out again and get to know her better. I have a feeling that if she decides you have potential, some of that cautionary dating behavior may dissolve. Unless she senses he is somewhat of a "player" (for lack of a better word)...as spiderowl suggested. And by player I just mean a man who dates ALOT, juggles, multi-dates whatever we wish to call it...and let's face it, fitnessfan is quite the ladies man and a smooth operator.. I don't mean that in a negative sense..at least not in his case ...but some women *are* leary of such men.. Her spidey senses may be playing into this, but who knows. 1
katiegrl Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Sent her a follow up text this morning. No response as of eight hours later. It is Saturday so she may be busy. Chances are though that my instincts were on the money as suspected. So if she eventually reaches out, great. Otherwise, at least I got to have a fun night bowling. And a second date with the book store lady? I love bowling!
Gaeta Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Sent her a follow up text this morning. No response as of eight hours later. It is Saturday so she may be busy. Chances are though that my instincts were on the money as suspected. So if she eventually reaches out, great. Otherwise, at least I got to have a fun night bowling. She will get back to you but intentionally much later. No one goes 8 hours on a Saturday without using their phone.
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