Blocking and Unblocking?

[sunshinesunshine]

I would always block the people who I would date and it didn't work out on all of my internet accounts, then after like a year or more I would unblock them, thinking they had moved on and forgotten about me.

 

But after doing this, 2 of the guys I previously had dated did get in touch with me and told me the usual stuff you would hear "I hope you are well, and I hope we can be friends or perhaps you can give me another chance? I am sorry I hurt you."

 

Why do guys and or girls do this sort of thing?

[Vercetti]

Perhaps the unblocking comes across as you throwing them a rope and opening a window. I avoid social networks, artificial stress. Don't want anyone to just contact me and don't want to look at a phone book of blocked names.

[CC12]

Where is the mystery in what they're doing? It seems that they explain the reasoning behind them contacting you. They're hoping that you can be friends or get together again or they're apologizing. That's why they're doing it. And also because they noticed that you gave them an avenue to contact you.

 

I'm curious why you're doing this sort of thing. Do you unblock them hoping that they'll contact you?

[cessna]

I agree with the others here. Why are you unblocking them? I don't really see what you gain from it.

 

Is it that deep down you want them to reconnect with you and this is your way of letting them know that? All seems a bit silly and childish to me really.

[Guitarisgood]

What type of immaturity is this? Please tell me you're atleast a teen that is posting this. Stop being so 'butthurt'. Life is life, you're not going to get out of it alive. Date, have relationships and if they don't work out, they don't work out. No hard feelings, let it go and move on to what's always a better thing in the next chapter of your life.

 

Shots fired. Please don't block me. But seriously if you think you need to block someone after you've dated them/ dating them/ relationship'd them, you really need to seriously have a re look at your outlook.

[Mrlonelyone]

It is just what Guitarigood said about moving on.

 

If these guys are part of your larger social circles, the same school, college, job, friend of a friend of a friend etc.... they are just doing something people did for eons trying to mend fences.

[sunshinesunshine]

Yes I deleted his message and just moving on.

[BikerAccnt]

I don't generally block people unless they become a nuisance, even my recent Ex. Why block her? I un-freinded her, and she's left me alone. If she contacts me in a few months...fine. If she starts bugging me then block.

 

 

I figure, if I block someone, I am not going to unblock them. You don't get on my block list unless you deserve it.

[ToOldForThis]

I am not sure I agree with NC forever. Sometimes after a few years when your have truly let go, moved and healed from a bad break, reaching out or letting someone reach back to you is a form of forgiveness and growth. We all grow and change and many times the person you fell in love with there was a deep connection. They knew you very well, your family and some of your dark secrets. If you don’t feel indifferent than you are not ready to open that door again.

 

To me it all depends on intention. If they want to get back with you or a booty call that’s one thing, if they are looking for answers or an apology that’s another. I have become very close to some of my ex’s years later and still enjoy a very special friendship with absolutely no physical attraction or desire to re-kindle in a mutual way. They were once a person that had amazing qualities, which led to our relationship, they usually still have those qualities, and so I don’t dismiss that so easily. For me the new love becomes very pure since it is not tied to emotional expectations, needs etc.

 

I think NC is a mandatory tool for healing yourself by holding boundaries and avoiding further pain. But when you are truly healed, that pain should be gone and accepted as what was a different time in your life.

 

I am sure many will disagree with me that done is done, and a closed door should never be open. This has worked both ways for me so I don’t apply a generic rule to my feelings or predict future feelings.

 

Even women that have cheated on my deserve forgiveness unless they were just incredibly reckless and unaccountable. I have friends both male and female that have done very unkind things in their relationships, but I don’t dispose of them for acts which I disagree with or think are being handled poorly. Too judgmental. Many of us would not have any friends if it were not for understanding that they are always doing the best they can at that point in their lives. So why not give an ex years later a chance to redeem themselves and see where it leads?

[katiegrl]

Yes I deleted his message and just moving on.

 

sunshine, as others have asked, why DO you unblock them if you have no desire to hear from them?

 

Doesn't make sense to me, but perhaps you have a good reason, other than hoping to hear from them? Like too many people blocked will crash your computer or something?

 

Please do tell...