arrow12 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 me and my ex have a mutual best friend so i have heard a lot about him since he broke up with me. Apparently he is feeling really depressed, lonely, all he wants to do is drink and go on nights out. He ended our relationship because he felt like he wanted to be single right now. We havent spoken since we broke up, hes sent me some pointless snapchats but i never replied. He thinks i hate him according to our friend and ive done nothing to change that impression because he really hurt me. My question is, is the way he's feeling likely to do with missing me or wanting me back? and if so why has he not contacted me?
minime13 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 me and my ex have a mutual best friend so i have heard a lot about him since he broke up with me. Apparently he is feeling really depressed, lonely, all he wants to do is drink and go on nights out. He ended our relationship because he felt like he wanted to be single right now. We havent spoken since we broke up, hes sent me some pointless snapchats but i never replied. He thinks i hate him according to our friend and ive done nothing to change that impression because he really hurt me. My question is, is the way he's feeling likely to do with missing me or wanting me back? and if so why has he not contacted me? How long has it been since the break up?
TunaCat Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 me and my ex have a mutual best friend so i have heard a lot about him since he broke up with me You need to tell the mutual friend that you don't want to hear anything about what he's doing or saying. It doesn't matter what he's saying or thinking. He wanted to be single, so he's single. Maybe he's rethinking things, but he needs to contact you and say these exact words "I miss you and I want to get back together with you" Anything else isn't worth responding to. 2
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 TunaCat is spot on for advice for you. Male perspective: He's wondering if he made a mistake. He's trying to validate his decision by weighing the pros and cons of the relationship and being single. I wouldn't take this as him wanting you back. A woman goes through the same process after a breakup; although, they tend to do so while in the relationship so they are more prepared after the breakup. Start focusing on you and give him what he wants. He wanted to be single, so let him deal with his emotions and personal troubles without a partner's concern. 1
carhill Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 Old fart translation: The other prospect didn't work out as planned.
Ronni_W Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 and if so why has he not contacted me? He HAS contacted you. But you never replied. For whatever your reasons, you have done nothing to change his impression that you hate him. What, really, do you want from this guy, before you will respond to him when he contacts you? (I honestly don't get what your brain is telling you that you want from him -- or what it wants to be sure of -- BEFORE you will respond to him.)
Mrin Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 Old fart translation: The other prospect didn't work out as planned. This. Sad to say but ya, the grass really wasn't greener on the other side of the fence.
Author arrow12 Posted May 9, 2015 Author Posted May 9, 2015 How long has it been since the break up? Its been just under two months
Author arrow12 Posted May 9, 2015 Author Posted May 9, 2015 He HAS contacted you. But you never replied. For whatever your reasons, you have done nothing to change his impression that you hate him. What, really, do you want from this guy, before you will respond to him when he contacts you? (I honestly don't get what your brain is telling you that you want from him -- or what it wants to be sure of -- BEFORE you will respond to him.) They just weren't really repliable to, they were things like pictures of his dinner or friends nothing directly to me he will have been sending them to everyone. I want to get back together but as i don't know how he's feeling im not willing to risk getting hurt again as i'm in quite a happy place now. I was just trying to see if anyone could help me understand his behaviour incase i was over analysing things
elaine567 Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 ...Apparently he is feeling really depressed, lonely, all he wants to do is drink and go on nights out. He ended our relationship because he felt like he wanted to be single right now. We havent spoken since we broke up, hes sent me some pointless snapchats but i never replied. He thinks i hate him according to our friend and ive done nothing to change that impression because he really hurt me. My question is, is the way he's feeling likely to do with missing me or wanting me back? and if so why has he not contacted me? NO idea why he is feeling like this, but I do not think you should assume he wants to get back with you, he may not. He broke up with you, so the onus is on him to say "Sorry, Arrow12, I made a dreadful mistake, I want to come back to you." Then you can mull over if that is what you want. If that communication doesn't come from him, then keep to your own happy place and forget him.
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