jinxycat Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Hey everyone, Breakups suck. No one likes getting their heart broken, and it can seem all too consuming and never-ending. However, things do get better and sometimes single life can be really good for your well-being. I thought it would be nice to share some experiences of positive things that happened because you were single. I'll go first. After being told that "I was too fat to ever be taken seriously" as a long term relationship, and that was why I never met his family, my self-esteem took a real blow. I was very out of shape, and quite curvy, but no one should ever have to take that kind of abuse from anyone. After sulking and thinking it was the end of the world, I finally set out to prove him wrong. I joined a couch to 5k class, and liked the challenge of running so much that I actually ran a half-marathon. And training for that was so mentally taxing, that I actually became more empowered due to a boost in self-confidence at how great I was progressing. Relationships can be quite expensive, all the going out, and sometimes paying more than your fair share so your bf can go with you. After another breakup, I took all the money that I saved from not going out, and I traveled to Europe for the first time. And mind you this was all by myself. It was amazing!! If you haven't traveled by yourself before, I highly recommend it, as it really pushes you out of your comfort zone, and you meet all kinds of people along the way. And I actually had an amazing fling with an Englishman while I was there, so that was an exciting experience. But, I loved England so much that I decided that I wanted to live there. I had nothing holding me back living in the States, and I figured "Why not?" So, I bettered myself more by going to grad school over there. I had some amazing experiences, and I advanced my degree, so now because of the degree, I am at a job that I really love, and I get paid more. So, really its a win-win! I don't think I would have ever been able to do these things had I not been through a breakup. I know that things may seem horrible and never-ending now, but some really positive experiences can come from heartbreak. While all the endorphins flow from being with someone you really like, and things can be really exciting, I kind of loose part of myself when I get into relationships. I'm not a fierce, independent, lass while in a relationship. And I don't take risks that end up really working out for the best because I want to spend all my time and energy being with someone. Does anyone else want to share some positive things that happened due to a breakup? I know I'm not the only one, and it might be good to spread some positive reflection out there. 3
jen1447 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Cool idea. If I hadn't broken up with my first real high school BF (who was supposed to be 'the one' - marriage and kids and all that), I would have eventually become a cheating wife. Post breakup is when I first surrendered to my bisexuality, and I know now there's no way I would have been able to be monogamous (he wasn't the sort to be open to sharing like my current BF/GFs), much less stay away from women at all. I like to think I would have divorced him before becoming a cheater, but who needs any of that in their life either way? 1
Chi townD Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 (edited) Okay...I'll go. After I confronted the girl I was going to marry about cheating on me, she blasted me. Called me a Loser. That I was going nowhere in life. Too stupid and lazy to ever go to University and satisfied working dead-end jobs for the rest of my life. She was going with someone that had a future. And I was dumped. Slipped into a deep depression and became a hermit. I went to work and went back home to my crappy studio apartment. That's all I did. My friends started to worry that I was gong to do something stupid. My best friend broke into my place one Friday morning. Called my boss and told him I was sick and he was taking me to the Doctor. Then, the next thing I know, he kidnapped me and I was on a train going to St. Louis. Spent a long weekend in St. Louis. Watched a baseball game, saw the sites, toured the Brewery and went to the clubs at night and even danced with a few girls. On the train home, it hit me. My ex wasn't my entire world, I just experienced part of the world I would have never discovered on my own. At that point, I found the motivation to prove what my Ex said about me was wrong. When I got back, I found a University that would take me on a probationary term. Well, probation didn't last long because after one semester, I had a 3.87 GPA. I really started to like school and I didn't stop until I got my Doctorate. Got a job on campus to help pay for trips I would take between semesters. I caught the bug for traveling and doing fun things. Rewarding myself for doing good and I would talk some friends into going with me. So, I went deep sea fishing in Key West. Dog sledding in Minnesota, Cattle driving in Arizona, white water rafting in West Virginia. I had a Blast! When I started this journey, I did it to prove my Ex wrong. But, after about a year or two, it became about ME and what I wanted in life because she wasn't going to be a part of it. After I finally finished with University, I started my career and became successful in my field. The bug for travel never left and it expanded globally. I was making good money so anytime I had a break at work, I grabbed that passport and I was gone! I was 25-26 traveling around and seeing the world and VERY friendly and helpful girls that didn't mind helping out a lost American in the country that I was in! Being an American in a different country is an AWESOME icebreaker when meeting girls. I've been to England, France, Morocco, Spain, Germany. I've seen the Fjords of Norway. I climbed Mount Fuji in Japan. Stood in the Gobi Desert in China, Been to see Christ the Redeemer in Rio. Been to the Bahamas, Jamaica and Cuba. I've been to no less than 20 different countries. Somewhere in the middle of all of this, I met a girl. She was strong, independent and career orientated. And after dating for a while, we got married. And to be completely honest, my wife is 10 times better in everyway from my Ex. And I thank God she understands my need to travel. Sometimes she comes with me, sometimes she doesn't. All depends on what I'm doing. So, That's how I got my revenge! I lead a damn good and adventurous life. I didn't need to prove to my Ex that she was wrong about me, I need to prove to myself that I deserved something better. Edited May 8, 2015 by Chi townD 4
Author jinxycat Posted May 8, 2015 Author Posted May 8, 2015 I love that story Chi townD! I don't think most people realize how much foreigners REALLY like Americans. Sure, you may get some flac (like when I was in Paris, and people refused to speak to me even though they knew English) but people are generally friendly to foreigners, and I encourage anyone to travel internationally if they can. I bet that girl ended up cheating on her new "better" boyfriend as well, or perhaps karma came, and she got cheated on. I am guessing that she wasn't happier with the new guy. People who are financially motivated usually lead sad lives. But it really is amazing how resilient we can be. I saw the guy who said I was too fat a couple of months after the breakup, and he was with a girl that was bigger than me! And trust me, once I was out doing things, and moving on, I just had to laugh at the ridiculousness of him. I still see him occasionally, because we have many shared interests, and I really say to myself "Ugh. what the hell was I thinking?!". He's still doing the same things, and I've been out actually exploring and bettering myself.
Chi townD Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 (edited) I love that story Chi townD! I don't think most people realize how much foreigners REALLY like Americans. Sure, you may get some flac (like when I was in Paris, and people refused to speak to me even though they knew English) but people are generally friendly to foreigners, and I encourage anyone to travel internationally if they can. I bet that girl ended up cheating on her new "better" boyfriend as well, or perhaps karma came, and she got cheated on. I am guessing that she wasn't happier with the new guy. People who are financially motivated usually lead sad lives. But it really is amazing how resilient we can be. I saw the guy who said I was too fat a couple of months after the breakup, and he was with a girl that was bigger than me! And trust me, once I was out doing things, and moving on, I just had to laugh at the ridiculousness of him. I still see him occasionally, because we have many shared interests, and I really say to myself "Ugh. what the hell was I thinking?!". He's still doing the same things, and I've been out actually exploring and bettering myself. Well, I never made it a point to find out what happened to her. But, people have a way of Blabbing their mouths. Well, she got with the dude she cheated on me with and he was in University the same time I was (just not the same school) But, I heard he had to transfer to the University of "I'm pregnant and you need to get a job". So, the dude dropped out and married her and the last thing I heard, Mr. Going Places in Life was an Ambulance driver. I liked Paris and I met and Australian girl that was interning at an art school there. Not your typical Emo, wear all black art student. She was a tiny little thing with the girl next door looks. So, obviously, I met her outside the louvre. We toured the art museum together and to show my appreciation I took her out to dinner that night. Walked her back to her flat. Was a real gentleman because I didn't want her to get spooked by this American dude. But, we met up everyday after that. She was an incredible and beautiful girl. God, her name was Genève from Perth. Wow, you never forget the people that make an impression on you. Edited May 8, 2015 by Chi townD
Vercetti Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 Over a decade ago saw a few pictures of a girl that never escaped my mind. Out of all the women ever saw, this one never escaped. Ended up divorced...hunted her down online after a decade. She just changed her screen name back to old one few weeks before I started looking. She was single! I friended her, posted a flirty song that instantly got a like. Before could send a message, she posted a picture of her cat as her new years date. We are married. 1
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