Redemption04 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 This question may sound like an oxymoron. I'm just wondering...Is it really that difficult or embarrassing to ask a partner to get tested for STDs before you sleep with them? The more I read, the more it seems people aren't really concerned. I just don't understand it? For example, I have a friend who's in a monogamous relationship, and had an STD scare once about 8 months ago before she met her current boyfriend (she tested negative for everything, but it was still terrifying), but yet she meets this guy...And I hound her about getting him tested, and she didn't even see it as a big deal? They did the deed and he never has been tested. It really frustrates me because I care about her so much and want to protect her, and I can't. I can't even imagine having sex with someone without knowing they'd tested negative for everything first--even with condoms. Is this an unusual mindset or something in our day and age? I mentioned to the guy I'm seeing, flat out, that I will not be sexually active with him, at all, unless he gets tested first. And guess what? Within days, he had an appointment scheduled. I told a friend that and her reply was "that's nice of him". I'm like, "No, it was basically non-negotiable. If he wanted to do anything with me, he had to do that first." Am I the only stickler like this? Is anyone else like this when they potentially are considering being intimate with someone?
d0nnivain Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 I was a little weary the 1st time I did it but what I did was get myself tested 1st. Then I told him I did that for him / for us & asked if he'd be willing to do the same for me. It wasn't the easiest conversation I ever had, but I was glad we did it. 1
jen1447 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 I'm on a very aggressive and thorough testing schedule, and likewise I expect to know about safety with any partners. Usually I bring it up by volunteering my info, and if they can't reciprocate or don't want to, bye-bye. 3
Mrin Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 It is really easy actually and to be frank, it is a good step for your relationships as it establishes two things: 1. He's really into you 2. You are going to be sexually exclusive with each other. No sense getting tested and getting the "all clear" only to bring in another variable I like d0nnovain's suggestion to get tested first. Give him the paperwork too. And ask him to do the same. The other selling point is that if you have BC handled some other way (e.g. IUD) then you can ditch the condoms and all dudes like condom free sex.
Gary S Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 The best way to avoid STD's, unplanned pregnancy, broken homes and broken hearts is monogamy and marriage.
readynow Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Not awkward at all. I bring it up in the first time we ever say anything about sex, like a joke. I say, 'No one goes anywhere near inside me without getting tested - that rules out sex on the first date so stop looking at me with those eyes!' Or something like that... when the laughter goes down, I go, 'I'm serious ' 1
Redhead14 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 This question may sound like an oxymoron. I'm just wondering...Is it really that difficult or embarrassing to ask a partner to get tested for STDs before you sleep with them? The more I read, the more it seems people aren't really concerned. I just don't understand it? For example, I have a friend who's in a monogamous relationship, and had an STD scare once about 8 months ago before she met her current boyfriend (she tested negative for everything, but it was still terrifying), but yet she meets this guy...And I hound her about getting him tested, and she didn't even see it as a big deal? They did the deed and he never has been tested. It really frustrates me because I care about her so much and want to protect her, and I can't. I can't even imagine having sex with someone without knowing they'd tested negative for everything first--even with condoms. Is this an unusual mindset or something in our day and age? I mentioned to the guy I'm seeing, flat out, that I will not be sexually active with him, at all, unless he gets tested first. And guess what? Within days, he had an appointment scheduled. I told a friend that and her reply was "that's nice of him". I'm like, "No, it was basically non-negotiable. If he wanted to do anything with me, he had to do that first." Am I the only stickler like this? Is anyone else like this when they potentially are considering being intimate with someone? Nope, if you are adult enough to become intimate you should be adult enough to have this kind of conversation. If they aren't, you should move on. There should be no awkwardness about it.
guild11 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 If ur partner is smart and cares about himself he wont be having sex without condoms, once the relationship gets more serious you can suggest to test and she can switch to pills.
Price2Play Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 (edited) #1 it's pretty much free if you have insurance. I get tested annually when I go in for my physical exam. I'm already there & it's free! Typically, I will get tested after a break-up as well. A habit I suppose, piece of mind? Hello this is a no brainer! Good for you OP, I have to be honest I am ALWAYS the one that bring this up. I don't know if they just automatically trusted me or what? I actually find it strange that I have never had any ex partners mention it before I did. I suppose it's the mans job so I'll continue to do it as always. Edited May 9, 2015 by Price2Play
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