Luna1 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 My ex boyfriend who was a theatre actor, left me for his co actress. She is highly connected with many famous personalities including being family friends with a top world famous actor. Though she could nothing for herself. Inspite of being family friends, the actor or his sister whom she is extremely close to, they never helped her get any roles. My ex was really attractive so the actress was after his looks and my ex was highly ambitious about succeeding in his career and getting top roles. He never got good lead roles. This new relationship is based on physical attraction and greed to get projects and jobs. I have always loved him and I still do.Will this last? Will he ever come back to me?
PegNosePete Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 If he ever did come back to you, would you want him? He left you. Don't you think he'll do exactly the same thing when the next pretty face comes along? Come on have some self respect here. Get him out of your life. 3
Mr Carson Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 It's hard to slam a person someone loves...but, this guy is a selfish, greedy, shallow jerk. You don't need a pseudo man, you want a real one. Please move on and don't ever take him back. It sounds like he and his new gf are a match made in Hollywood heaven! 2
Lunay Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 How long have you been posting in here about the situation with your boyfriend? You were never comfortable with the fact he was hiding your relationship, you never understood from his point of view why he would do such a thing. He has now left you for some meaningless relationship, to further his career. Let him! You obviously were not made to be with this guy. All you did was stress about his social media sites and what he was doing on WhatsApp. It really can't be nice living that way, with such distrust. Your gut was right. Leave him be and find someone you're more compatible with. He doesn't care about you. You were just there as a back up in case his career didn't take off, and now that it has he doesn't need you anymore. Why would you even want him back?? 2
Satu Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 This is probably the best thing that ever happened to you. You made many posts about the upset his behaviour has caused you. He hid your relationship, ignored your feelings, and treated you like dirt. *If you don't realise that you deserve something better, you'll never have anything better.* 2
Author Luna1 Posted May 8, 2015 Author Posted May 8, 2015 But I loved him very much. All I wanted was love and all the memories make it very painful for me. Why did he leave me and pursue her just because she has connections? What is the guarantee that the actor will give him work? And if he is so business minded, if his plan fails wont he leave her too?
Lunay Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 But I loved him very much. All I wanted was love and all the memories make it very painful for me. Why did he leave me and pursue her just because she has connections? What is the guarantee that the actor will give him work? And if he is so business minded, if his plan fails wont he leave her too? Of course it hurts and I am sorry it's happened to you, but it really is a blessing. Don't you want someone that will announce to the world how much they love you? And yes, he will dump her too once he doesn't need her anymore either. 1
Satu Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 *But I loved him very much. All I wanted was love and all the memories make it very painful for me. **Why did he leave me and pursue her just because she has connections? What is the guarantee that the actor will give him work? ***And if he is so business minded, if his plan fails won't he leave her too? *You loved him but he didn't love you. **Doesn't matter. Is irrelevant. ***Doesn't matter. Is irrelevant. 1
Author Luna1 Posted May 8, 2015 Author Posted May 8, 2015 Of course it hurts and I am sorry it's happened to you, but it really is a blessing. Don't you want someone that will announce to the world how much they love you? And yes, he will dump her too once he doesn't need her anymore either. He was also prone to chatting with girls. If hes interested in her for work then wont he cheat if he sees pretty faces?
sandylee1 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 But I loved him very much. All I wanted was love and all the memories make it very painful for me. Why did he leave me and pursue her just because she has connections? What is the guarantee that the actor will give him work? And if he is so business minded, if his plan fails wont he leave her too? Your attitude won't help you get over him. You ask why he left you. It's because he didn't love you. It doesn't reallymatter if he gets work or not. The fact is, you are not his priority. He may leave her, but that's his concern. If you want to wait in the wings for the relationship to collapse, then you're only going to get hurt. Be strong and tell yourself, you want a man who loves you, like you love him. Why settle for less? Don't be his backup plan. Don't be used. When you act desperate men give you crumbs. He'll sense that and possibly offer you the role of being the OW. Being used for sex. Don't go there. Move on. 5
Satu Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 (edited) He was also prone to chatting with girls. If hes interested in her for work then *wont he cheat if he sees pretty faces? You still don't get it. He never loved you, and never cared about you. You were just someone to be used, and you have now outlived your usefulness. *Doesn't matter. Is irrelevant. Edited May 8, 2015 by Satu
Author Luna1 Posted May 8, 2015 Author Posted May 8, 2015 You still don't get it. He never loved you, and never cared about you. You were just someone to be used and you have now outlived your usefulness. *Doesn't matter. Is irrelevant. :'( :'( :'( :'( does he love her?
Satu Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 *:'( :'( :'( :'( does he love her? *Doesn't matter. Is irrelevant. You taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally and physically, is relevant and important. That's what you need to do. Analysing this selfish jerk's behaviour and motivation won't help you one tiny bit. Try to think about yourself. YOU. Your needs, your healing, your health, your self-esteem, your hopes, your dreams, your fears, your life. Think about yourself. 2
Jenmarie Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 I'm sorry this happened to you. I truly am. I feel for you. I've been in your situation before. I was madly in love with a guy, he swore up and down he loved me... but left me for someone else. Then I realized, he didn't love me at all, and it hurt so badly. You have amazing replies from these people. I am actually blessed to be a part of this forum, just because of the amazing people and their advice on here. It may hurt to hear, but there IS someone out there for you. One day, someone is going to love you and would LOVE to tell everyone about you, not hide it. And that is what you deserve. The person that you're meant to be with will make this guy a faded, distant memory. Be blessed that you can see it now, rather than more time and feelings have gone by. We're all here for you. Stay strong, work on yourself. Do not contact him ever again. You found out enough about this man by what he did to you. He is disgusting, selfish, and NOT the type of guy you want to be around. 2
Author Luna1 Posted May 9, 2015 Author Posted May 9, 2015 I'm sorry this happened to you. I truly am. I feel for you. I've been in your situation before. I was madly in love with a guy, he swore up and down he loved me... but left me for someone else. Then I realized, he didn't love me at all, and it hurt so badly. You have amazing replies from these people. I am actually blessed to be a part of this forum, just because of the amazing people and their advice on here. It may hurt to hear, but there IS someone out there for you. One day, someone is going to love you and would LOVE to tell everyone about you, not hide it. And that is what you deserve. The person that you're meant to be with will make this guy a faded, distant memory. Be blessed that you can see it now, rather than more time and feelings have gone by. We're all here for you. Stay strong, work on yourself. Do not contact him ever again. You found out enough about this man by what he did to you. He is disgusting, selfish, and NOT the type of guy you want to be around. Do you think he loves his new gf?
fireflywy Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 (edited) I'll tell you this right now, if he's as good looking as you say, you're going to have to LET THAT GO. From personal experience we can be totally enamored with someone and project on them who we hope them to be and not for who they really are and many people do it because their exes are "hot," "beautiful," "attractive" or whatever. Right now, your ego is hurt because that shiny little trinket you had on your arm, which made YOU feel you had value in the eyes of everyone else, is gone. I know this well. Make a list of how he REALLY treated you and seperate the physical image (which probably added to your self esteem and which probably makes you desperate for his attention and affections ) and who he REALLY is which is a total jerk. Then ask yourself, write it out in a journal if need be, what your future would have been like with this guy if you had stayed. I'll bet you forced yourself to overlook a lot of things and create things that weren't there, deriving meaning in the smallest things and inflating them. I bet you, went through a lot of pain, forced change, and self doubt, because he glamored you. I know i sound insensitive, but you will understand EXACTLY what i mean in time. You have to get over his looks and your own mental constructions of how you viewed him. Edited May 9, 2015 by fireflywy te 2
SLee Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm a little late the party, but here's my two cents. I work a LOT in theatre. (acting, dramaturgy, financial planning, producing, etc.) Honestly, this happens all too often. I see it ALL THE TIME. It breaks up marriages, engagements, long term relationships. A couple is married at the start of a rehearsal, by the end of the run, they're divorced. Theatre is a difficult place to find love for this reason. Actors who are in plays with each other often get caught up in the emotions of a play and take it too far. The reality is that you DON'T want to be with a guy who will up and leave you for a co-actress/anyone. This is not a guy you want to be with, as others have said. If he did it to you, he'll likely do it to her. Theatre people tend to be really career oriented because you HAVE TO BE, unfortunately it happens. That's why I like to date non-theatre people as a general rule. Actors, not all, tend to be selfish and caught up in feelings and stuff. I know it hurts like all hell, but you have to let this guy goes. If he comes back, think long and hard about taking him back. It's ultimately your call, but be careful. That's my advice.
dave_1966 Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 I work in the arts, and meet actors and models from time to time for work. You should not entertain for one moment dating these people because they tend to be shallow self absorbed narcissists, especially if they're trying to make breaks for themselves. Their whole life can be a drama, and they're often not the brightest cards in the pack either basing their life on looks etc. Back out of this, go no contact, and find yourself someone in a more down to earth and possibly caring field.
Jenmarie Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 Do you think he loves his new gf? Probably not, but like everyone said it's completely irrelevant. What is relevant is that he pushed you aside, threw you away like a piece of trash, and started dating someone new who he doesn't even have any history with. That is something you don't want back. That just shows he's a shallow, selfish person with absolutely no respect or love for you. NEXT! Even if you did get back together, you'll just be deeply insecure about him doing it to you again in the future with any new females that come in his path with his career. Stay away from him, you're saving yourself a whole bunch of trouble. You'll thank yourself for moving on later, I know it's absolutely horrible right now. But it will make you wiser and stronger in the end. You'll know what kind of guys to look out for now, know red flags, so you can find what you truly deserve. (and you will). Don't settle for less than that, because you won't be happy.
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