loveiswar101 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Been reading posts for a long time, haven't posted in long time and I guess we do when it all crumbles. Well finally things have come to end, some might remember me but basically been on and off with a women for 2.5 years. During that time we have had several break-ups but seem to get back together. Sometimes i come back and sometimes she has come back. Well about 3 months ago we broke up. But stayed in contact, we had booked a holiday overseas for mid March (before xmas) and at first she said forget it. I said look lets go, something we had planned for 6 months and be foolish not to go and have that big holiday we had promised ourselves together. Well she agreed to go, we both agreed to go open minded and have fun. This is what happened, we went, first night got drunk and made out, didn't look for it nothing, just happened. Then we had a good 2 weeks together, making out another 2 times and were holding hands having fun for the 2 weeks. I will say we weren't intimate as when we were together. But did feel like things were good. Get back and she sort of blows me off....tells me she just wants to be friends, she wants to work on herself and get healthy. At first thinking i couldn't be without her I agreed to friends but a few days later I came to my senses and relised i couldn't be friends with someone i love so much. Well she has comeback with take it or leave it. The trauma is I know what to do, but I just can't stop texting from a week ago telling her I love so much. To last night virtually begging for another chance. To which she replied she wants space and that I'm trying to force her to make a decision and she can't go back to the way we were as if nothing has happened. I love this woman so much, I have never felt this way about another woman ever. I feel it's all over....which if im realistic it is ! MY BIG PROBLEM IS IM STRUGGLING HUGE WITH NC, ONLY GOING A FEW DAYS ! PLEASE HELP, ANY ADVICE TIPS WOULD BE MOST GRATEFUL. Thank You
dangerbang Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Read the no contact guide in this forum. No one can offer any better advice than that. Follow it closely and things will improve slowly.
C0nfused1980 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Hey. Believe me I feel your pain - you kind of sound like me. In so much pain and would give/do anything to change things but deep down inside, you know this is it and you have to let go. Regarding the NC, you have to be very strong to be able to stick to it but keep reminding yourself that you can do it. Have a close friend or two on standby so that you can call/text them instead every time you get that urge. I told my friends that even if they are busy and/or at work, I will still text them and I won't expect a reply it's just for me to vent. It's helping and so far, I've managed to not contact my ex. I also blocked him on social media, deleted emails, removed our previous conversations on text and whatsapp from my phone as well as his number from my favourites and call log. Basically, anything that would be a constant reminder and/or give me the urge to contact him is gone. Best of luck and I hope you heal soon. I have been told NC really helps cut the healing time and I would do anything to stop the pain I am in so keep reminding myself that NC is worth it.
Author loveiswar101 Posted May 8, 2015 Author Posted May 8, 2015 Thank for the quick replies, NC is the way to go, gee I love this woman so much...but I also know it takes two to tango. I just can't believe after 2 weeks away having fun and an amazing time she comes back and boom. NC is the way, maybe the friends texting is the way to go. Thanks again.
d0nnivain Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Glad to see you finally got off the merry go round. In the early stages the buddy system worked for me. I would have a friend or two who would be willing to take the Tim calling you to avoid calling them calls. Try that. Also make a lists: 1. all the reasons you are better off apart 2. all the things you hope to accomplish now that you are single 3. some short term & long term life goals Also rearrange stuff in your life & living environment to make it different from when she was there. Buy new sheets. Put your bed against a different wall. Move the living room furniture. Take a new route to work. Shop in a different grocery store Etc. Change is helpful here . . . less memories.
Author loveiswar101 Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 (edited) Well today is 5 days of no contact...longest ive been for ages. Reading post here and the Breakup Recovery Guide has helped heaps. So glad I logged back on after such a while. Still a long way to go...but away for a week with work and just been guaranteed work for next 6 months 'has took lot of pressure of me and am alot more relaxed. Obviously she is on my mind a lot, i miss her and love her but over time with NC my end im hoping that will fade. Need to do things for me..set goals and have fun. Her loss... my gain in a way...the world is my oyster...Thanks all. Edited May 11, 2015 by loveiswar101 1
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