katiegrl Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 (edited) I will admit, that it will rub some women the wrong way. To them, it's an online "meet" with a "stranger". But the ironic thing is that you actually interact more before an OLD meet, than you do before a real life first date. The only difference is that you don't know what the other person looks like. In real life, there would already be basic flirting and tension going into the first date. That's why she'd give me her number. So my goal is to re-create that experience. By having some playful flirting and creating tension going in, it carries over as a "date", as long as people look like their pics. That's why so many "meets" fall flat in my opinion. People show up with skepticism, turn it into an interview with a stranger, etc.. But why not try to create some basic chemistry going in? After all, personality has nothing to do with what someone looks like. What you say is true. If a woman doesn't respond well to my style GOING IN to an online first date/meet, it is not a good match. I've admitted this many times especially in that other thread. **But what I am referring to is a woman I've already had dates with. If everything doesn't go exactly according to plan, I won't write her off because of it. *** That's exactly why I called Ms T-Shirt as a follow up when she didn't respond to the text. But, there is a difference between having different personalities and being polar opposites before you meet someone, versus getting along well on a basic level with a few subtle differences. Quote in asterisk again (I can't bold text from my tablet)... I beg to differ. According to plan...*your* plan. Which includes responding to you and your texts/pursuit in exactly the way you need her to respond...or it's over for you and you lose interest. I refer to your most recent ex, who you admitted didn't conform to your wishes/desire to behave in a more sexually/flirtatious way...and respond postively to your attempts at sexual banter, or dress the way you desired her to dress, etc. I gathered she was the one to suggest breaking up, to which you readily agreed, admitting (to us) that you were beginning to lose interest anyway.....precisely because she fell flat in the sexual banter/flirtatious department. Combined with her never wearing a dress and her granny panties .....well it all just turned you off. Ha! But then she calls, initiates seeing you again, and shows up in a sexy dress!!! And suddenly you are aroused again! Again, all this is your preogative....just own it! Edited May 16, 2015 by katiegrl
Author fitnessfan365 Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 (edited) Women online gets flirted with and gets all kinds of sexual innuendos all the time. You would actually stand out of the crowd by holding back a little, wait to make a connection, then hit her with your best game. When you play your game too soon it feels like we're not anymore special than the woman from yesterday. It's your MO and you play it on every single woman. When you wait a little and make a rapport first before hitting us with your game then it feels like we inspire it in you and it's not just you going through the motion like you do with everyone day in and day out. All the flirting I do is very playful and light hearted. This is what I use to create tension and attraction. I don't drop innuendos or bring up sexual specifics ever I may use the term "sexy" from time to time like in reference to an outfit like before. But mainly I just state my opinions, tease her, flirt lightly, etc.. I am displaying confident masculine behavior, but not acting like a pervert. But it's funny that you say "game" because it's just my natural personality coming across. So how do I stop being myself? Quote in asterisk again (I can't bold text from my tablet)... I beg to differ. According to plan...*your* plan. Which includes responding to you and your texts/pursuit in exactly the way you need her to respond...or it's over for you and you lose interest. I refer to your most recent ex, who you admitted didn't conform to your wishes/desire to behave in a more sexually/flirtatious way...and respond postively to your attempts at sexual banter, or dress the way you desired her to dress, etc. I gathered she was the one to suggest breaking up, to which you readily agreed, admitting (to us) that you were beginning to lose interest anyway.....precisely because she fell flat in the sexual banter/flirtatious department. Combined with her never wearing a dress and her granny panties .....well it all just turned you off. Ha! But then she calls, initiates seeing you again, and shows up in a sexy dress!!! And suddenly you are aroused again! Again, all this is your preogative....just own it! Once again, there is a HUGE difference between a woman I dated for a few months. versus one I just started seeing. With my recent ex, we discovered over a longer period of time that we weren't compatible romantically. I am naturally playful and she is analytical. I like a lot of mental stimulation. She doesn't like to flirt. So on a long term basis we weren't compatible. BTW - You need to stop referencing things I told you IN CONFIDENCE as "public posts". When we were privately discussing things, I mentioned in passing that she always wore grannie panties. The fact that she wore jeans and athletic pants on a regular basis never really bothered me. Would I have liked to have seen in her in a dress or skirt once in awhile? Sure. But that's got nothing to do with personality. I just found it ironic that she wore a skirt on our one "friendly" encounter. Edited May 16, 2015 by fitnessfan365
katiegrl Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Quote in asterisk again (I can't bold text from my tablet)... I beg to differ. According to plan...*your* plan. Which includes responding to you and your texts/pursuit in exactly the way you need her to respond...or it's over for you and you lose interest. I refer to your most recent ex, who you admitted didn't conform to your wishes/desire to behave in a more sexually/flirtatious way...and respond postively to your attempts at sexual banter, or dress the way you desired her to dress, etc. I gathered she was the one to suggest breaking up, to which you readily agreed, admitting (to us) that you were beginning to lose interest anyway.....precisely because she fell flat in the sexual banter/flirtatious department. Combined with her never wearing a dress and her granny panties .....well it all just turned you off. Ha! But then she calls, initiates seeing you again, and shows up in a sexy dress!!! And suddenly you are aroused again! Again, all this is your preogative....just own it! ^^^ETA....forgot to mention she wasn't available to meet YOUR need to see/have sex with her more than twice a week, due to her incredibly busy schedule....after only one month of dating I might add... Well, you get the point....hopefully.
katiegrl Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 All the flirting I do is very playful and light hearted. This is what I use to create tension and attraction. I don't drop innuendos or bring up sexual specifics ever I may use the term "sexy" from time to time like in reference to an outfit like before. But mainly I just state my opinions, tease her, flirt lightly, etc.. I am displaying confident masculine behavior, but not acting like a pervert. But it's funny that you say "game" because it's just my natural personality coming across. So how do I stop being myself? Once again, there is a HUGE difference between a woman I dated for a few months. versus one I just started seeing. With my recent ex, we discovered over a longer period of time that we weren't compatible romantically. I am naturally playful and she is analytical. I like a lot of mental stimulation. She doesn't like to flirt. So on a long term basis we weren't compatible. BTW - You need to stop referencing things I told you IN CONFIDENCE as "public posts". When we were privately discussing things, I mentioned in passing that she always wore grannie panties. The fact that she wore jeans and athletic pants on a regular basis never really bothered me. Would I have liked to have seen in her in a dress or skirt once in awhile? Sure. But that's got nothing to do with personality. I just found it ironic that she wore a skirt on our one "friendly" encounter. You mentioned the granny panties on the forum as well ff....otherwise I would NOT have mentioned it...
katiegrl Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 (edited) All the flirting I do is very playful and light hearted. This is what I use to create tension and attraction. I don't drop innuendos or bring up sexual specifics ever I may use the term "sexy" from time to time like in reference to an outfit like before. But mainly I just state my opinions, tease her, flirt lightly, etc.. I am displaying confident masculine behavior, but not acting like a pervert. But it's funny that you say "game" because it's just my natural personality coming across. So how do I stop being myself? Once again, there is a HUGE difference between a woman I dated for a few months. versus one I just started seeing. With my recent ex, we discovered over a longer period of time that we weren't compatible romantically. I am naturally playful and she is analytical. I like a lot of mental stimulation. She doesn't like to flirt. So on a long term basis we weren't compatible. BTW - You need to stop referencing things I told you IN CONFIDENCE as "public posts". When we were privately discussing things, I mentioned in passing that she always wore grannie panties. The fact that she wore jeans and athletic pants on a regular basis never really bothered me. Would I have liked to have seen in her in a dress or skirt once in awhile? Sure. But that's got nothing to do with personality. I just found it ironic that she wore a skirt on our one "friendly" encounter. ff..with respect (I'm trying )....it's great to behave genuinely and authentically with women, but it's also important to be cognizant of/sensitive to how women **respond** to such behavior. If the majority of women are turned off by your behavior in these very early stages, it might behoove you to take Gaeta's advice and take it down a notch....just until the woman gets to know you a bit better. I know it is not your intention, but as an objective observer, you really do come off as quite the "player" ....at least initially...which most women will run from. Doing so would increase your chances of meeting and sustaining the interest of many more women...thus increasing your chances of developing a relationship with the right woman for you....which I assume is what you want? Edited May 16, 2015 by katiegrl
Author fitnessfan365 Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 ^^^ETA....forgot to mention she wasn't available to meet YOUR need to see/have sex with her more than twice a week, due to her incredibly busy schedule....after only one month of dating I might add... Well, you get the point....hopefully. 1) You really do have a tendency to get details wrong OFTEN. She said she'd NEVER be able to see more than 2x a week. This isn't a short term issue, or even an issue that would be resolved somewhat soon. It was an issue of long term compatibility. ** Before you and your BF lived together, you had non stop sex Fri-Sun every week. So I still laugh at you comparing three straight days of sex on tap, to sex a few times TOTAL per week with 3-4 days in between. Miles different. 2) I know it's in your personality to be fiery, always debate, and try to prove your point. But lately, you get all my threads shut down by making them overly personal. So for the sake of keeping the threads open, can you dial it back a little please? I have never once mentioned anything you said to me in confidence EVER, nor have I ever bashed you on the forums. But for the last month, you've gone out of your way to attack me for no reason. So I'd appreciate if you'd afford me the same courtesy I've shown you from now on.
katiegrl Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 (edited) 1) You really do have a tendency to get details wrong OFTEN. She said she'd NEVER be able to see more than 2x a week. This isn't a short term issue, or even an issue that would be resolved somewhat soon. It was an issue of long term compatibility. ** Before you and your BF lived together, you had non stop sex Fri-Sun every week. So I still laugh at you comparing three straight days of sex on tap, to sex a few times TOTAL per week with 3-4 days in between. Miles different. 2) I know it's in your personality to be fiery, always debate, and try to prove your point. But lately, you get all my threads shut down by making them overly personal. So for the sake of keeping the threads open, can you dial it back a little please? I have never once mentioned anything you said to me in confidence EVER, nor have I ever bashed you on the forums. But for the last month, you've gone out of your way to attack me for no reason. So I'd appreciate if you'd afford me the same courtesy I've shown you from now on. ff, while I do admit to disagreeing and debating with you, I have been nothing but respectful when responding to you...as of late.. And nothing I post in response to you is "personal"....or intended to be as such. As I said, you have mentioned the granny panties on the forum which is why I mentioned it. I am only voicing my opinion, in a calm and rational manner....nothing disrespectful or personal about it, and I am sorry you interpret my posts that way. I just have an incredibly good memory (photographic)...and remember things posted. And if I see an inconsistency, I will call the poster on it. Any poster, not just you... Edited May 16, 2015 by katiegrl
katiegrl Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 ff, while I do admit to disagreeing and debating with you, I have been nothing but respectful when responding to you...as of late.. And nothing I post in response to you is "personal"....or intended to be as such. As I said, you have mentioned the granny panties on the forum which is why I mentioned it. I am only voicing my opinion, in a calm and rational manner....nothing disrespectful or personal about it, and I am sorry you interpret my posts that way. I just have an incredibly good memory (photographic)...and remember things posted. And if I see an inconsistency, I will call the poster on it. Any poster, not just you... ETA -- and with respect to your ex saying she will NEVER be able to spend more than twice a week seeing/having sex with you, come on, who can predict such a thing...after only a month of dating. Please. My guess is she felt pressued by you, and made that comment in an attempt to push you away....which it did!
Author fitnessfan365 Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 (edited) I just have an incredibly good memory (photographic)...and remember things posted. And if I see an inconsistency, I will call the poster on it. Any poster, not just you... I do as well. My mom had me playing 'Memory" by the time I was three, and mine is like a steel trap. But an example for you. One particular thread had rolled around to people mentioning when they were checked out. I told ONE story. About the girl I had intense eye contact with at the gym while I was training a client. I described it as "eyeball screwing each other", etc.. Yet you chopped up that single story into "multiple examples" of how I always describe women's reactions. Also, have I mentioned a few times that a woman has bitten her lip in my presence? Yes. It happened. But I am not on here saying that every woman I meet bites her lip. LOL So when you're clear headed and objectionable, yes your memory is awesome. I'm often impressed at your referencing skills. But even you've admitted to mixing up details when you get heated and upset. So your memory is not quite as infallible as you claim. I mean let's be honest. You've been a bit irrational towards me for no reason the last month. One minute we're friends on here, and the next minute you're saying you never want to talk to me again and bashing me indirectly in every thread you post in. That's all I'm saying. ETA -- and with respect to your ex saying she will NEVER be able to spend more than twice a week seeing/having sex with you, come on, who can predict such a thing...after only a month of dating. Please. My guess is she felt pressued by you, and made that comment in an attempt to push you away....which it did! Her life was exactly the same the last five years before I met her, and it wasn't changing anytime soon. She even admitted to me that she was looking to meet someone that was fine with a few times a week indefinitely. Originally I was and that's why she was comfortable. Also, I never "pressured" her. I brought up seeing each other 3x a week casually in conversation ONCE. The next time we talked in person after that, she mentioned being worried about never being able to see me more than 2x a week ever. Edited May 16, 2015 by fitnessfan365
katiegrl Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I do as well. My mom had me playing 'Memory" by the time I was three, and mine is like a steel trap. But an example for you. One particular thread had rolled around to people mentioning when they were checked out. I told ONE story. About the girl I had intense eye contact with at the gym while I was training a client. I described it as "eyeball screwing each other", etc.. Yet you chopped up that single story into "multiple examples" of how I always describe women's reactions. Also, have I mentioned a few times that a woman has bitten her lip in my presence? Yes. It happened. But I am not on here saying that every woman I meet bites her lip. LOL So when you're clear headed and objectionable, yes your memory is awesome. I'm often impressed at your referencing skills. But even you've admitted to mixing up details when you get heated and upset. So your memory is not quite as infallible as you claim. I mean let's be honest. You've been a bit irrational towards me for no reason the last month. One minute we're friends on here, and the next minute you're saying you never want to talk to me again and bashing me indirectly in every thread you post in. That's all I'm saying. Fair enough, except on this thread, and others, at least my posts as of late...I AM clear-headed and objective. Not sure why you believe otherwise...nothing I have posted as of late would indicate I am *not* clear-headed and objective, other than voicing my opinion which apparently isn't going over well... but my apologies if I have offended....not my intention... Done....good luck!
katiegrl Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I do as well. My mom had me playing 'Memory" by the time I was three, and mine is like a steel trap. But an example for you. One particular thread had rolled around to people mentioning when they were checked out. I told ONE story. About the girl I had intense eye contact with at the gym while I was training a client. I described it as "eyeball screwing each other", etc.. Yet you chopped up that single story into "multiple examples" of how I always describe women's reactions. Also, have I mentioned a few times that a woman has bitten her lip in my presence? Yes. It happened. But I am not on here saying that every woman I meet bites her lip. LOL So when you're clear headed and objectionable, yes your memory is awesome. I'm often impressed at your referencing skills. But even you've admitted to mixing up details when you get heated and upset. So your memory is not quite as infallible as you claim. I mean let's be honest. You've been a bit irrational towards me for no reason the last month. One minute we're friends on here, and the next minute you're saying you never want to talk to me again and bashing me indirectly in every thread you post in. That's all I'm saying. ***Her life was exactly the same the last five years before I met her, and it wasn't changing anytime soon. She even admitted to me that she was looking to meet someone that was fine with a few times a week indefinitely. Originally I was and that's why she was comfortable. Also, I never "pressured" her. I brought up seeing each other 3x a week casually in conversation ONCE. The next time we talked in person after that, she mentioned being worried about never being able to see me more than 2x a week ever.*** Did not say you "pressured* her, at least not intentionally.... what I said was she may have "felt" pressured by you.. which is understandable considering you DID want to spend more time and she knew she couldn't....at least for awhile... even a long while. But everything else you said, fair enough, this is getting us nowhere. As I said, I will back off...good luck.
Gaeta Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 (edited) But it's funny that you say "game" because it's just my natural personality coming across. So how do I stop being myself? No, I don't want you to stop being yourself, I want you to delay it 2 dates and I will try to explain it on a different angle in my best English. Forget your game before meeting. I think we all agree that it does not translate online the way it does in face to face encounters You don't even know if that woman is who she says she is and even if she is like her pictures the chemistry may be non existent face to face. Don't try it not even a little bit, especially that trying a 'little bit' for you is to suggest she dresses sexy. It's a little bit of flirting for you, it's an automatic dismiss for many of us, even the slvttiest of us. Online is to make contact, not develop a rapport. When a woman is looking for a serious partner her mind is not in the gutter like it is for men. She is checking for qualities that will make him a good life partner. It's how we approach things, even the slvtty ladies among us. Yes I know you are on your best behavior and are a gentleman but your game is like the tree in front of the forest. She focuses of those little flags coming from you and it keeps her from seeing the great guy behind. Example: When I come back from a good 1st meeting and I am super happy what do I talk about? I talk about him being a gentleman, interesting, entertaining. Have you ever read a post about a first meeting where a woman said: OH it was a great date! as we met for the very first time he swirled me around, told me 'let me look at you' and gave me a great smile of appreciation? No. Don't get me wrong, I would love for a man to do that to me but on our 3rd date, not on a 1st meeting. So no game online and none on your first meeting because a first meeting is just that a first meeting, it's not a date. It's a meeting where a woman will be judging your every word and every gesture. It's a job interview you know it. She is going through that first meeting thinking what am I dealing with here and your game may be perceived as you're only looking for a hook up, when you're not. So I am not telling you to change, I am telling you to tone it down online and 1st meet THEN slowly get your best game going. Edited May 16, 2015 by Gaeta 1
Author fitnessfan365 Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 (edited) No, I don't want you to stop being yourself, I want you to delay it 2 dates and I will try to explain it on a different angle in my best English. Forget your game before meeting. I think we all agree that it does not translate online the way it does in face to face encounters You don't even know if that woman is who she says she is and even if she is like her pictures the chemistry may be non existent face to face. Don't try it not even a little bit, especially that trying a 'little bit' for you is to suggest she dresses sexy. It's a little bit of flirting for you, it's an automatic dismiss for many of us, even the slvttiest of us. Online is to make contact, not develop a rapport. When a woman is looking for a serious partner her mind is not in the gutter like it is for men. She is checking for qualities that will make him a good life partner. It's how we approach things, even the slvtty ladies among us. Yes I know you are on your best behavior and are a gentleman but your game is like the tree in front of the forest. She focuses of those little flags coming from you and it keeps her from seeing the great guy behind. Example: When I come back from a good 1st meeting and I am super happy what do I talk about? I talk about him being a gentleman, interesting, entertaining. Have you ever read a post about a first meeting where a woman said: OH it was a great date! as we met for the very first time he swirled me around, told me 'let me look at you' and gave me a great smile of appreciation? No. Don't get me wrong, I would love for a man to do that to me but on our 3rd date, not on a 1st meeting. So no game online and none on your first meeting because a first meeting is just that a first meeting, it's not a date. It's a meeting where a woman will be judging your every word and every gesture. It's a job interview you know it. She is going through that first meeting thinking what am I dealing with here and your game may be perceived as you're only looking for a hook up, when you're not. So I am not telling you to change, I am telling you to tone it down online and 1st meet THEN slowly get your best game going. You see this is where we think differently. You consider it a "meeting". I consider it a "date". 1) A first "business" meeting - The guy should act completely asexual and treat it like an interview. The interaction is boring and she feels no "spark" of attraction at all. By the end of the "meeting" her instincts are most likely saying "He seems really nice but more like a friend". This is exactly why you always hear about so many women complaining how OLD "meets" never leave them feeling a spark or any chemistry. 2) A first "date" - The guy gets a woman's number and starts to have fun interaction. Playfully teases her, flirts a little bit, and gets her genuinely excited to get together. Both people show up, they look like their pics, and that same energy carries over. Now she's feeling relaxed and attraction is starting to build. Then as the night progresses, she feels like she's on a date and a first kiss ensues. Now granted, this won't happen all the time. There are some women who feel like you do, and completely close themselves off leading into the first "meeting". But other women who are able to let their guard down a bit and keep an open mind, usually end up on "dates". Every woman I've gotten past the initial encounter with, always calls it "our first date" and I take a lot of pride in that. Don't get me wrong Gaeta. I understand why you think the way that you do. But in my opinion, online success comes with thinking counter-intuitively. Your instincts come up with tons of cautionary roadblocks telling you why it's a "meeting" and not a "date". It's online, you've never seen him, you don't know if there will be chemistry in person, etc.. But the whole reason why a large percentage of OLD "meets" lack excitement in my opinion, is because people go on asexual interviews. I mean it's ironic that you say first impression is everything. But if a guy isn't trying to make romance happen from the get go, a lot of women won't see him as a romantic prospect. Edited May 16, 2015 by fitnessfan365
Gaeta Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 1) A first "business" meeting - The guy should act completely asexual and treat it like an interview. The interaction is boring and she feels no "spark" of attraction at all. By the end of the "meeting" her instincts are most likely saying "He seems really nice but more like a friend". This is exactly why you always hear about so many women complaining how OLD "meets" never leave them feeling a spark or any chemistry. You are taking what I said to extremes. It does not have to be boring and business like. My first meetings aren't dates. I don't do restaurants, movies and stuff, it's always a coffee-meeting and a lot of the times it's pretty fun! and I do feel attraction and chemistry without him saying anything flirty. If he tells me something like I am prettier than my pictures, or I have a beautiful smile, or anything in that department I'm happy, I don't need more to know he finds me desirable.
Author fitnessfan365 Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 You are taking what I said to extremes. It does not have to be boring and business like. My first meetings aren't dates. I don't do restaurants, movies and stuff, it's always a coffee-meeting and a lot of the times it's pretty fun! and I do feel attraction and chemistry without him saying anything flirty. If he tells me something like I am prettier than my pictures, or I have a beautiful smile, or anything in that department I'm happy, I don't need more to know he finds me desirable. That's flirting Gaeta. Also, with the right guy, you could have a blast people watching with a scoop of ice cream. That's why anything in good company is considered a "date" in my opinion. Plus, being stuck at a table leads to interview style interaction. That's why I never do coffee. I always plan first encounters where we walk around and chat with some good scenery. There is an awesome outdoor shopping venue with free live music that I use often. There's also a center with an ice cream shop and other places to go into like Barnes and Noble, etc..
Gaeta Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 That's flirting Gaeta. Also, with the right guy, you could have a blast people watching with a scoop of ice cream. That's why anything in good company is considered a "date" in my opinion. Plus, being stuck at a table leads to interview style interaction. That's why I never do coffee. I always plan first encounters where we walk around and chat with some good scenery. There is an awesome outdoor shopping venue with free live music that I use often. There's also a center with an ice cream shop and other places to go into like Barnes and Noble, etc.. Ok it's flirting lol, but subtle. I would like all of my first meeting to be in parks but unfortunately I live in a place with 4 months of Siberian cold. I do agree sitting face to face with a table in between is a poor setting for a first meet.
katiegrl Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Ok it's flirting lol, but subtle. I would like all of my first meeting to be in parks but unfortunately I live in a place with 4 months of Siberian cold. I do agree sitting face to face with a table in between is a poor setting for a first meet. Oh I dunno, to me either the chemistry is there or not ....it can't be created or forced and isn't determined by where you go or what you do. And when it's there, doesn't matter if you're having coffee at a table or browsing books at Barnes and Noble. Hell, my last boyfriend and I felt the first spark of chemistry while sitting across from each other at a deposition!!
Frank2thepoint Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 When you play your game too soon it feels like we're not anymore special than the woman from yesterday. It's your MO and you play it on every single woman. When you wait a little and make a rapport first before hitting us with your game then it feels like we inspire it in you and it's not just you going through the motion like you do with everyone day in and day out. I'm going to chime in and disagree with this. This is a woman's cop-out. First off, there is no way for a woman to know if a guy's MO is play some game on every woman he meets. Second, I don't understand why a woman's first thought is she's not special enough for the man to make a bold gesture, unless the woman is insecure and isn't going to trust the man no matter what he does. Third, speaking from experience, I've made bold gestures and built rapport, women freak out regardless. There is no rhyme or reason, some women can't handle a bold, honest, and genuine man, so they resort to making unsubstantiated excuses. 3
Gaeta Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Oh I dunno, to me either the chemistry is there or not ....it can't be created or forced and isn't determined by where you go or what you do. And when it's there, doesn't matter if you're having coffee at a table or browsing books at Barnes and Noble. Hell, my last boyfriend and I felt the first spark of chemistry while sitting across from each other at a deposition!! No the setting does not determine if there is chemistry or not. It's just more fun to be outside and about as you see better the person's mannerism and it's easier to get closer. I like being outside walking and the man will hold my arm-hand to cross the streets or help me up or down from a big step or something. It's more interactive.
Gaeta Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I'm going to chime in and disagree with this. This is a woman's cop-out. First off, there is no way for a woman to know if a guy's MO is play some game on every woman he meets. Second, I don't understand why a woman's first thought is she's not special enough for the man to make a bold gesture, unless the woman is insecure and isn't going to trust the man no matter what he does. Third, speaking from experience, I've made bold gestures and built rapport, women freak out regardless. There is no rhyme or reason, some women can't handle a bold, honest, and genuine man, so they resort to making unsubstantiated excuses. Sorry, on our first 3 dates you could be more honest than the pope and genuine, I have NO way to know so I am not going to give it any value. I don't believe one word coming out of a man's mouth on our first 3 dates. He can make a bold gesture, he can say or do anything coming out of a fairy tale story, I won't believe one bit of it. On our first 3 dates you are a stranger to me so be on your best behavior to allow me to lower my guards. It's no time for bold gestures.
katiegrl Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 No the setting does not determine if there is chemistry or not. It's just more fun to be outside and about as you see better the person's mannerism and it's easier to get closer. I like being outside walking and the man will hold my arm-hand to cross the streets or help me up or down from a big step or something. It's more interactive. I can't argue with that Gaeta....very very true. A hell of a lot more fun than sitting across from each other at a depo..that's for darn sure! But after the deposition...THAT's when the fun started. :bunny: My point though was that, at least for me, chemistry/romance can't be created or forced...otherwise it comes off as contrived and disingenuous ....which is a turn off ....at least for me. And again, personally speaking of course, I can tell the difference real fast....between something *contrived* from something real, genuine and spontaneous... And whenever a man tried to "make romance happen," it always came across to me as contrived, phony... just not real. Which usually resulted in ....next. Just me. 1
Gaeta Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 And again, personally speaking of course, I can tell the difference real fast....between something *contrived* from something real, genuine and spontaneous... I'm bringing you along in my next date.
katiegrl Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 I'm bringing you along in my next date. I told you...come visit me! My bf has lots of friends....we can double. Then I WILL be there...for real! I'll discreetly slip you notes under the table... :) 1
katiegrl Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 (edited) I'm going to chime in and disagree with this. This is a woman's cop-out. First off, there is no way for a woman to know if a guy's MO is play some game on every woman he meets. Second, I don't understand why a woman's first thought is she's not special enough for the man to make a bold gesture, unless the woman is insecure and isn't going to trust the man no matter what he does. **Third, speaking from experience, I've made bold gestures and built rapport, women freak out regardless. *** -- So what does THAT tell you? That such bold gestures and "rapport" makes them uncomfortable and thus turns them off...hello. . Me thinks time for Plan B. ***There is no rhyme or reason, some women can't handle a bold, honest, and genuine man, so they resort to making unsubstantiated excuses.*** -- And that my friend is a man's cop out...:bunny: See quotes in asterisk above and responses thereto.. Edited May 17, 2015 by katiegrl
Frank2thepoint Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 Sorry, on our first 3 dates you could be more honest than the pope and genuine, I have NO way to know so I am not going to give it any value. I don't believe one word coming out of a man's mouth on our first 3 dates. He can make a bold gesture, he can say or do anything coming out of a fairy tale story, I won't believe one bit of it. On our first 3 dates you are a stranger to me so be on your best behavior to allow me to lower my guards. It's no time for bold gestures. If you really do this, then you are wasting everyone's time with dating. As you admitted in the boldface, you'll never trust a man. Why even go past one date, or better yet, even go on a date at all, if you have no trust right from the start? How do you think that is conducive to a healthy dating lifestyle? It's not by the way. -- So what does THAT tell you? That such bold gestures and "rapport" makes them uncomfortable and thus turns them off...hello. . Me thinks time for Plan B. Bold gestures and building rapport are two separate things. Building rapport does not mean sexual, if that's what you thought it meant. Going into a date, both members want to try to build a rapport. A bold gesture can be something sexual, like heavy flirting, kissing from the first moment of meeting, or simply letting a woman know she is very beautiful. So if you don't believe in building rapport, then how, by your definition, would two people date and progress into a relationship? Also I can't image what Plan B is for you. -- And that my friend is a man's cop out... You have me at a disadvantage, because I have no idea what you mean by this.
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