Jame22 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Well she's not necessarily a serial texter, but with that said, she does text me a lot...way more than I'm comfortable with, especially since we haven't even met yet. She messaged me about 10 days ago on Tinder and I got her number. Right from the start she texted me a lot. We had plans to meet up last Tuesday but she had to cancel due to work. I told her to let me know when she was free and she said that she’d make it up to me, but it’s now two days later and she hasn't even suggested a date yet. Should I just start ignoring her and hope she takes the hint? Or am I supposed to ask her out again?
fitnessfan365 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Always remember that you control the interaction. If you haven't set plans yet and she texts you, call her back right then while she has her phone in her hand. Chat for a bit, make plans right then and there and tell her that you'll see her then. Then if she keeps texting you, exchange a few and tell her you have to run but you'll see her soon. Do this any time she texts you. There is no law that says you have to stay on the phone forever. When I call a woman to make plans, I am off the phone in 5-10 minutes tops. Yet some guys feel obligated to just keep texting and texting all the time. Imagine if it was a telemarketer. Would you sit there and listen to the whole sales pitch, or would you cut it short and get off the phone?
Author Jame22 Posted May 8, 2015 Author Posted May 8, 2015 Always remember that you control the interaction. If you haven't set plans yet and she texts you, call her back right then while she has her phone in her hand. Chat for a bit, make plans right then and there and tell her that you'll see her then. Then if she keeps texting you, exchange a few and tell her you have to run but you'll see her soon. Do this any time she texts you. There is no law that says you have to stay on the phone forever. When I call a woman to make plans, I am off the phone in 5-10 minutes tops. Yet some guys feel obligated to just keep texting and texting all the time. Imagine if it was a telemarketer. Would you sit there and listen to the whole sales pitch, or would you cut it short and get off the phone? I never call before the first date... Too soon
fitnessfan365 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 I never call before the first date... Too soon It's ALWAYS a good idea to ask a woman out by phone for the first date. It shows that you have balls and don't hide behind text. I mean if you can't even talk to her on the phone, how will you be with her in person? Just saying..
Author Jame22 Posted May 8, 2015 Author Posted May 8, 2015 It's ALWAYS a good idea to ask a woman out by phone for the first date. It shows that you have balls and don't hide behind text. I mean if you can't even talk to her on the phone, how will you be with her in person? Just saying.. Just fine..i've met plenty of woman on first dates without phone calls. Generally I think it's a bad idea to call before the first date. Hearing someones voice for the first time in person is much more natural and less awkward. 1
losangelena Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 In my experience, the two men who asked me out for the first time over the phone ended up being WAY over eager. I prefer texting at the onset—lets you ease into things. 3
guest569 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Is she sending heaps of consecutive texts or are you replying to them? If so, just keep them short and she should get the idea
fitnessfan365 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 In my experience, the two men who asked me out for the first time over the phone ended up being WAY over eager. I prefer texting at the onset—lets you ease into things. Haha.. If they're the type of guy that wants to stay on the phone and blab for hours and hours and hours. But I call, chat for ten mins tops, and make plans. Since I started asking for a number in my first email, and then calling that same day, I've had no flake outs since. When I used to email a bit longer, have a bit more texting, etc I'd get a lot more blow offs. Plus, the way I see it i that if I can't enjoy a ten minute phone call with a woman, in person won't be any better. If I don't like the call, I simply say "Nice chatting with you, but I gotta run". Better than 1-2 hours in person.
Author Jame22 Posted May 8, 2015 Author Posted May 8, 2015 Is she sending heaps of consecutive texts or are you replying to them? If so, just keep them short and she should get the idea No, I reply to all of them..but sometimes i'll wait like 5 hours until I get home from work.
Author Jame22 Posted May 8, 2015 Author Posted May 8, 2015 Haha.. If they're the type of guy that wants to stay on the phone and blab for hours and hours and hours. But I call, chat for ten mins tops, and make plans. Since I started asking for a number in my first email, and then calling that same day, I've had no flake outs since. When I used to email a bit longer, have a bit more texting, etc I'd get a lot more blow offs. Plus, the way I see it i that if I can't enjoy a ten minute phone call with a woman, in person won't be any better. If I don't like the call, I simply say "Nice chatting with you, but I gotta run". Better than 1-2 hours in person. agree to disagree I've never called before the first date. I've probably had 20-30 first dates in the past few years and I've only had one flake on me
fitnessfan365 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 (edited) agree to disagree I've never called before the first date. I've probably had 20-30 first dates in the past few years and I've only had one flake on me OK fair enough. If it works for you, that's cool. Plus, 1-2 first dates a month isn't bad dude. Definitely above average. For me, I use the phone to screen and save time. It tells me right away what her personality/sense of humor is like on a basic level and lets me hear the sound of her voice. If I can't stand talking to her for ten minutes, then I don't get roped into a crappy date. Let me ask you this. Since you just text going into a first meet/date, how many women wind up being completely different in person then they are in text? A lot of women can text a good game, but then wind up being shy and boring in person. Also, when I make plans via phone on the spot, I don't have to have lame "getting to know you" text marathons like you're going through with this serial texter right now. When I start dating again after a break up, I'm usually averaging 6-8 first dates a month give or take. Out of those, two or three become longer term candidates. Then once I know which woman I want to solely focus on, I stop multi-dating. But since I take more at bats, the rejection/flake ratio is much higher. Comes with the territory. But I will say this. Since I switched over to using the phone for 95% of the interactions, no flakes whatsoever. It would always happen when more texting was involved. Edited May 8, 2015 by fitnessfan365
minime13 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Well she's not necessarily a serial texter, but with that said, she does text me a lot...way more than I'm comfortable with, especially since we haven't even met yet. She messaged me about 10 days ago on Tinder and I got her number. Right from the start she texted me a lot. We had plans to meet up last Tuesday but she had to cancel due to work. I told her to let me know when she was free and she said that she’d make it up to me, but it’s now two days later and she hasn't even suggested a date yet. Should I just start ignoring her and hope she takes the hint? Or am I supposed to ask her out again? Maybe she just doesn't have a date yet that she has free. Maybe she's trying to find out a little more information about a guy she met electronically before meeting up with him. Women do that. Why don't you just take some initiative and let her know you'll be (here) and would like her to join if she can. That way, the ball's in her court. She can meet you or, if she can't, suggest another specific date. If she doesn't, then you can appropriately ignore her.
losangelena Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Well, everyone's got their own approach, of course. In person, it's fairly easy for me to relax and be myself—funny, outgoing, whatever; conversation is not hard for me. On the phone though, I get nervous as a mofo. I'm stiff, there's starts and stops, it's just bad. Hence, why I prefer to avoid it. Fwiw, those two guys who called did not stay on the phone for hours—both were brief calls—yet both of them, upon meeting, were acting like we'd been dating for weeks already. Talk about uncomfortable! Luckily I don't have to deal with that anymore, but it always put me on edge to have to talk to a guy over the phone pre-meeting.
smackie9 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 From what others have told me, chicks like this just text because they are looking for attention, not a date. Or they need weeks of texting to make sure they even want to go on a date with you....in either case, if it doesn't feel right, that's because it's not. Right off the bat this makes you uncomfortable.....NEXT!
fitnessfan365 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Well, everyone's got their own approach, of course. In person, it's fairly easy for me to relax and be myself—funny, outgoing, whatever; conversation is not hard for me. On the phone though, I get nervous as a mofo. I'm stiff, there's starts and stops, it's just bad. Hence, why I prefer to avoid it. Fwiw, those two guys who called did not stay on the phone for hours—both were brief calls—yet both of them, upon meeting, were acting like we'd been dating for weeks already. Talk about uncomfortable! Luckily I don't have to deal with that anymore, but it always put me on edge to have to talk to a guy over the phone pre-meeting. Oh come on girl. I bet you give great phone. I've just never liked doing a lot of texting before meeting because people tend to act differently. With texting, they're at a distance and can type anything they want. But then when they're face to face, that confidence and charm they had suddenly vanishes and they're awkward as hell. Since people are so used to typing these days, they actually forget how to communicate like real people..LOL Plus, I do think it's good when you can be comfortable on a date and try to build a sense of familiarity right off the bat. But there is comfortable and then there is too comfortable. If these guys acted like you'd already been dating for weeks, that is awkward.
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