Angeleyez2583 Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 I finally got my question answered. Despite the fact I'm only 22, and so is my ex, we have been very mature about the whole breakup. I finally got up enough guts to text him and ask Was the only reason we broke up because of the alcohol? He told me the next day I deserved to know the answer, and said that that was the reason. I'm glad I found out the truth, but once again I don't understand his actions (he flirts, and when we're together in class, it is almost as if we're dating again, but better). He knows I quit drinking. He knows I'm happy and upbeat (he's said this to me) Also, he always asks about the drinking. Anyway, my question is this. How do I say goodbye to him when he helps me move. I'd like to sit down and talk with him before he leaves. I want to say "I want to prove to you I'm not drinking anymore and that I am a much better person. Not to go back out, not to date, just to prove to you that I have changed. The way we've gotten along after the breakup is amazing. I have never gotten along with someone so well after a breakup as I have with you. I have not touched a beer or even thought about drinking since that night. So I am wondering, can I please be given some kind of chance to prove to you the drinking has stopped? No strings attached. " If he says no, I'll going to leave it alone. If he responds with yes, then what do I say? Ask him how I can prove it or something? So in otherwords, is this a good idea????? I mean, we do get along really well. And there are obviously feelings still there from both ends. I just want to figure out if this goodbye will be the last time I will ever see him again. If he doesn't think there is anyway to prove it to him, then I am starting no contact and moving on with my life.
Scott S Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 I think it's good to communicate your feelings to him. I believe that he should know those things you want to tell him. Whether verbally or otherwise will depend on how comfortable you both are in such a face-to-face situation. A possible alternative is to write him a letter expressing those thoughts, giving you a chance to read it over, edit as necessary, etc. Then mail it so that he would receive it a couple days before moving day. Better not to ask too many questions about the future at once. You both will need some time to sort through your feelings. ________________________________ If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be. - Yogi Berra
vickimonster Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 My philosophy has always been I would rather regret having done something, than regret not having done it, and then spending the rest of my life sying what if. It is not right for everyone, but I hope it helps you.
Author Angeleyez2583 Posted April 21, 2005 Author Posted April 21, 2005 That is a GREAT philosophy... I mean it can't hurt to tell him because he is leaving, and at least I can get it all off my chest.... and if he wants nothing to do with me after the fact then I never have to see or talk to him again :-) Thanks!
vickimonster Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 I hope it goes the way you want it to, either way you sound like a strong person and you will be fine and happy
Author Angeleyez2583 Posted April 22, 2005 Author Posted April 22, 2005 thanks for the compliment and the advice :-)
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