walkingonair Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 I broke up with my ex 3 days ago because he treated me horribly , never actually gave me committment and told me he's planning to move to another state far away. So I told him its best we dont hangout because you're moving soon. He just said ok, I think you're right.3 days ago by and today i find out he blocked from two of his facebook accounts. We were friends on one of the accounts but we werent even friends on his other facebook account and his fb was private. Why did he block me from both? I'm so upset because he's the one that hurt me and now i feel guilty and as if i did something wrong:(((((((((((((((((((( It's like i'm the bad person.Help guys ((
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 Why does he have a separate account that's private? Seems fishy to me. I deleted and blocked my ex when he left me, because it's too painful to see him befriending girls and possibly meeting someone else. It's a coping mechanism. Try not to take it personal. 2
Author walkingonair Posted May 7, 2015 Author Posted May 7, 2015 Why does he have a separate account that's private? Seems fishy to me. I deleted and blocked my ex when he left me, because it's too painful to see him befriending girls and possibly meeting someone else. It's a coping mechanism. Try not to take it personal. Thanks for your answer.Oh i understand:( One of his fb accounts was super old and he used it just for mostly his family and super close friends. I'm justso hurt because i did nothing wrong:(and if he actually does want to talk why can't he just contact me?
Redhead14 Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 I broke up with my ex 3 days ago because he treated me horribly , never actually gave me committment and told me he's planning to move to another state far away. So I told him its best we dont hangout because you're moving soon. He just said ok, I think you're right.3 days ago by and today i find out he blocked from two of his facebook accounts. We were friends on one of the accounts but we werent even friends on his other facebook account and his fb was private. Why did he block me from both? I'm so upset because he's the one that hurt me and now i feel guilty and as if i did something wrong:(((((((((((((((((((( It's like i'm the bad person.Help guys (( Who cares? You broke up with him. It's what people should do after a break up to move on. Remove reminders of the person, go no contact. It's a healthy way to manage emotions after a break up. Do you want him to stalk you on FB? Do you want to stalk him? You did nothing wrong and neither has he. You having guilt or feeling like a bad person for breaking up with him is a little odd . . . how old are you and how long were you dating him? 3
stillafool Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 Yes he is moving on and that's why he blocked you. You broke up with him so why do you need to see what's going on with him? It is best that you are blocked because it will help you to get over him faster. No news is good news. 3
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 Thanks for your answer.Oh i understand:( One of his fb accounts was super old and he used it just for mostly his family and super close friends. I'm justso hurt because i did nothing wrong:(and if he actually does want to talk why can't he just contact me? Still, I would not like it if my boyfriend had a private fb he didn't include me in. But that's besides the point. He may not want to talk right now. Being dumped hurts bad. I didn't talk to my ex until almost a week later after I blocked him. 1
stillafool Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 I'm justso hurt because i did nothing wrong:(and if he actually does want to talk why can't he just contact me? If he did want to talk to you he would. FB wouldn't stop him. He knows your phone number and where you live doesn't he? 1
Author walkingonair Posted May 7, 2015 Author Posted May 7, 2015 Yes he is moving on and that's why he blocked you. You broke up with him so why do you need to see what's going on with him? It is best that you are blocked because it will help you to get over him faster. No news is good news. I understand.It's just sad.He doesn't even care enough to work things out or contact me and say sorry.
Author walkingonair Posted May 7, 2015 Author Posted May 7, 2015 Still, I would not like it if my boyfriend had a private fb he didn't include me in. But that's besides the point. He may not want to talk right now. Being dumped hurts bad. I didn't talk to my ex until almost a week later after I blocked him. Yea..:/ you initiated contact first?
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 Yea..:/ you initiated contact first? Yes, unfortunately. It was about his things he left at my house. 1
Satu Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 You're not a couple any more. You're both single people who can make their own choices and decisions without reference to the other. That's the current reality. 1
stillafool Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 I understand.It's just sad.He doesn't even care enough to work things out or contact me and say sorry. He did seem quick to accept the breakup. Are you sure he wasn't waiting on it? Did he seem unhappy in the relationship towards the end? 1
Author walkingonair Posted May 7, 2015 Author Posted May 7, 2015 He did seem quick to accept the breakup. Are you sure he wasn't waiting on it? Did he seem unhappy in the relationship towards the end? cause he's a coward and runs away when things get difficult,not only in relationships but other aspects of his life.He has intimacy issues and feeling emotions and always told me he doesn't know how to deal with emotions and he's crazy.
preraph Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 He's done. I heard some stat on some tv talk show recently that said about 70 percent of guys just basically leave and don't try to provide closure or anything. It's painful but at least this way you are not getting mixed messages and it forces you to give up and move on. Good luck. 1
Emilia Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 I know this all seems cold including some of the posts but it's for the best OP. It will get better after a week or so. Try to go out and see your friends, the sadness will pass. No contact is best. 1
losangelena Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 cause he's a coward and runs away when things get difficult,not only in relationships but other aspects of his life.He has intimacy issues and feeling emotions and always told me he doesn't know how to deal with emotions and he's crazy. Then why do you care if he blocks you? You should be happy to be done with him. He sounds like an awful boyfriend. 1
Redhead14 Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 I understand.It's just sad.He doesn't even care enough to work things out or contact me and say sorry. You knew that he didn't care enough about you. You broke it off. Did you break up with him as a way to try to challenge him and make him run to you? Give us some history about how this relationship developed. It is important for you to think about this situation in order to learn from it. I am not saying dwell on it. Just think about how it progressed and what you knew and didn't know from the start. I'm only asking because of the fact that you say you are feeling guilt about this situation. He may not feel that he owes you and apology if he was upfront with you about not wanting commitment from the beginning. And, if that's the case, he doesn't owe you an apology and you shouldn't be expecting one. If he led you on in anyway, he's not going to apologize and even if he did, it would be insincere. If he was upfront with you and you are experiencing guilt, it's likely more about a sense of shame for allowing yourself to get so involved with him and feeling used. If he was upfront with you, he didn't use you, you allowed yourself to be used. I'm just giving food for thought, I can't say for sure that any of this is the case in reality. But I think on some level it may be. 1
Author walkingonair Posted May 7, 2015 Author Posted May 7, 2015 You knew that he didn't care enough about you. You broke it off. Did you break up with him as a way to try to challenge him and make him run to you? Give us some history about how this relationship developed. It is important for you to think about this situation in order to learn from it. I am not saying dwell on it. Just think about how it progressed and what you knew and didn't know from the start. I'm only asking because of the fact that you say you are feeling guilt about this situation. He may not feel that he owes you and apology if he was upfront with you about not wanting commitment from the beginning. And, if that's the case, he doesn't owe you an apology and you shouldn't be expecting one. If he led you on in anyway, he's not going to apologize and even if he did, it would be insincere. If he was upfront with you and you are experiencing guilt, it's likely more about a sense of shame for allowing yourself to get so involved with him and feeling used. If he was upfront with you, he didn't use you, you allowed yourself to be used. I'm just giving food for thought, I can't say for sure that any of this is the case in reality. But I think on some level it may be. Thanks for your answer.He didnt really lead me on cause i knew what i was getting into (redflags since day one).But him blocking me is wrong cause i didnt do anything to him and he's making me feel like i did something wrong!If he truly cared he'd contact me and say sorry or something.And now i feel bad cause i didn't want to hurt him.I can't hangout with someone who is planning to move.If they are moving,they dont care about me enough.He isnt even moving for a real reason just said his friends live in that state and hes not happy where he is now.He always runs from problems and never faces them:(
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 Thanks for your answer.He didnt really lead me on cause i knew what i was getting into (redflags since day one).But him blocking me is wrong cause i didnt do anything to him and he's making me feel like i did something wrong!If he truly cared he'd contact me and say sorry or something.And now i feel bad cause i didn't want to hurt him.I can't hangout with someone who is planning to move.If they are moving,they dont care about me enough.He isnt even moving for a real reason just said his friends live in that state and hes not happy where he is now.He always runs from problems and never faces them:( You broke up with him. To a dumpee, that in itself is considered a wrongdoing and reason enough to block someone. Take it from me; I did the same thing to be able to cope without having reminders of them. If you have mutual friends on fb, it may be uncomfortable for him to see posts and comments from you. If he's moving, his mind is probably made up. I don't think you'll be able to convince him to stay, in which case it should make it s little easier for you to move on. 1
El Pallasso Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 You broke up with him as a pathetic attempt at power play and you failed miserably. He had self respect and accepted your decision. He snivel and beg you to "work things out". Now you're panicking because your manipulative attempt at power play didn't work out. THAT'S why you feel guilty. You can paint him in whatever poor light you want and talk about him negatively from now till three end of time but deep down, you know I'm right. Take it as a lesson learned. Don't try to use manipulative power play. It will end up backfiring on you. 4
Redhead14 Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 Thanks for your answer.He didnt really lead me on cause i knew what i was getting into (redflags since day one).But him blocking me is wrong cause i didnt do anything to him and he's making me feel like i did something wrong!If he truly cared he'd contact me and say sorry or something.And now i feel bad cause i didn't want to hurt him.I can't hangout with someone who is planning to move.If they are moving,they dont care about me enough.He isnt even moving for a real reason just said his friends live in that state and hes not happy where he is now.He always runs from problems and never faces them:( Blocking you is not right or wrong. It's about what he wants or needs. I'd say you didn't hurt him though. It would only hurt him if he cared enough about you and he doesn't. Not being happy where he is is a REAL reason to move. And, if he did love you, he'd be happy where he is. You don't know that he blocked you because of being hurt either. Don't make this about him. It's about you and your needs. You want something more and you know you'll never get it with him. Feeling like you've done something wrong because you break up with someone who doesn't make you happy and isn't on the same page, doesn't make sense. 2
kendahke Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 cause he's a coward and runs away when things get difficult,not only in relationships but other aspects of his life.He has intimacy issues and feeling emotions and always told me he doesn't know how to deal with emotions and he's crazy. sounds like you've got the best part of the deal here. You're well rid of someone who can't give you or be for you who you need. 1
Redhead14 Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 Feeling like you've done something wrong because you break up with someone who doesn't make you happy and isn't on the same page, doesn't make sense. Did he ever do or say things to you that were intended to make you feel badly about yourself or were manipulative? Do you have any history of abuse in relationships? 1
kendahke Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 Thanks for your answer.He didnt really lead me on cause i knew what i was getting into (redflags since day one).But him blocking me is wrong cause i didnt do anything to him and he's making me feel like i did something wrong!If he truly cared he'd contact me and say sorry or something.And now i feel bad cause i didn't want to hurt him.I can't hangout with someone who is planning to move.If they are moving,they dont care about me enough.He isnt even moving for a real reason just said his friends live in that state and hes not happy where he is now.He always runs from problems and never faces them:( I don't think it's so much of an issue of him thinking you did anything wrong as it is you two are not together anymore; it wasn't working out; it wasn't going to work out and it's best that ties are cut right now so you both can get over each other and move on. I think what you need to get with is that he doesn't truly care enough to work things out with you. Sometimes, it's just broken and there's nothing you can do to ever fix it, at least not to your satisfaction. Him not being happy where he is living is a very valid reason for moving. He wants to be somewhere where he is happier and unfortunately for you, that place is not with or includes you. It's apparent that you two are incompatible--if you were not, this post wouldn't be here and you'd be in a healthy, functioning relationship. You need someone that he's not in order for you to be happy. He doesn't make you happy and being miserable with someone is not love. It's dependency on dysfunction. 1
stillafool Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 I don't want to her you but - Again, he was very quick to agree with you when you said you wanted to break up. I think he probably wanted to break up a while ago and you made it easy for him. I think he also blocked you to make sure you guys don't rekindle anything. 1
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