GeeziG Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 Hello everyone I would like to start of by saying thank you for taking the time out to read this post and any feed back is more than welcome! About six months ago I started dating this amazing tauras female, I'm a Virgo which might not have anything to do with anything but the chemistry and connection was amazing from the start! We got along great had a lot of similarities, values and just overall chemistry, however she was or has been in a on and off relationship with a ex boyfriend for about eight years so I assume high school since we are both 26 now. During the initial phase of our dating we had long conversations about past relationships and what went wrong blah blah and through that I found out that this guy cheated on her with three different women and had one pregnant but she lost the baby during this time they were living together and she packed her things and left. It's been about a year and a half and Since then she's dated other people but never really felt any of them were worth her time until she meet me so she said. We spent countless time together days, nights weekends even couple dates and trips. Don't get me wrong I know six months isn't anything when you look at the big picture but this relationship took off like a rocket. We had our common relationship hiccups here and there but we always talked and worked things out, but to get to the juice during the six months of our relationship she had a trip planned to aruba and to my knowledge this trip was planned with her and her friends we spent countless time talking about how excited she was to go, shopping working out together all in prep for this trip which she is currently on now. Her birthday was last week on Thursday so we spent Wednesday, and Thursday together. Friday night she had a section at a club reserved for her and her female friends and I wasn't invited which was cool it's your bday do your thing is what I kept telling myself. She even told me that she would hit me up after the club to come stay with her. My mind set at that point was to call up a friend and go do my own thing so I did, but what I found out changed everything. The guy I hit up was a mutual friend of the both of ours and when I called him he told me that this tauras woman was going out of the country with her ex boyfriend of eight years and he was going to purpose, also that he was going to the party that Friday night! I was in awe, but I played it cool I didn't mention anything about it to her until she called for me to come over that night,but by this time she has already known I knew because her ex comfronted her about me. So when I got there she went into this whole spill about how she just found out he was going and that he didn't fund the trip, I went on to tell her about the proposal and she was upset saying idk how he expects to go to Aruba and propose after how bad he hurt me and that he needs to not waste him time because the answer is definitely NO! She was crying upset and angry by this time but said I could stay with her of course I left. The next day her ex called me and told me that she's a liar and that he paid for the entire trip and he didn't know anything about me until that Friday night and when he asked who I was she said a homeboy! Yeah ****s crazy right... She texted me later that day saying if I believe him over her than that's fine and if after all the time we spent together wasn't real to me then she was going to pray that I forgive her one day! Since then I ran into the mutual friend that told me in the first place and he told me that everyone that went on the trip seems to be posting pictures all over social media expect the two of them so he doesn't think the proposal will stand, but at this point it doesn't even matter our entire relationship was based on a lie and a ploy for what? I still don't know! As much as I'm hurt, I know that I can never take this girl back if she came around so all contact has been blocked even though she doesn't return until this Sunday. I guess my post is mostly for comfort from the loveshack community and just wondering why she would lie for so long knowing about this trip and still lie to me after the truth came out? I just don't understand. If she wanted to be back with him why not just take him back and go on the trip spare my feelings God sakes!
Mrin Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 First off dude, {{hugs}} That totally sucks. I have no idea why she would carry on with these lies. But honestly, it sounds like you guys were more her distraction or thing on the side rather than in a real relationship. I know it hurts to feel like that but it didn't sound like you two conducted yourselves as a couple publicly. And she also seems to be someone who is comfortable living her life in deception. Move on from this woman like she's anthrax. Delete all connections you have with her. Keep NC under all circumstances. But, if you do break down, this is what I would suggest doing: never reach out to her. But if she reaches out to you after getting back from her trip, tell her that you will give her a single audience, a single chance to come totally clean - one single lie and you're out of there. To tell you everything. I would let her spill her guts to you. All the embarrassing details. All of the lies. All of the duplicity. I'll let her lay it all out there. And then I'd pivot on my heel, turn my back to her and walk away.
Chi townD Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 Okay, your post was a little confusing. But, let me see if I got this straight. You and her have been dating for six months. You weren't invited to her birthday party at the club. You found out that her Ex WAS invited. You also find out that she's going to Aruba with her friends, but the Ex is going as well. You find out that the Ex was funding the trip and he tells you that he didn't even know about you. She refers to you as her "homeboy" to him and not "boyfriend" You call her out on it and she tells you that it isn't true but if you want to believe him over her, then she prays one day you'll be able to forgive her. (what's there to forgive? I thought things are innocent? Why wouldn't she say that if you don't believe her then that's your problem. Why would you need to forgive her?) She's currently in Aruba and all of her friends are making status updates and posting pics on their social media and her and the Ex have been quite and not posting anything. Could be that they ditched the friends and are doing their own thing. (chances are she hasn't contacted you at all while she's been gone). Dude, you got played. Time to let this one go. Time to heal and move on. Block her on all social media and start a hard NC. Chances are, when she gets back, she might try to reach out to you. IGNORE HER!!! Move on dude.
Author GeeziG Posted May 7, 2015 Author Posted May 7, 2015 I'm definetly sticking to no contact, but how should I play it if she shoes up at my place?
Chi townD Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 Don't open the door. If she's standing outside when you show up, just ask her to leave. Personally, if she hasn't contacted you while she's been gone, not posting anything about her trip on social media and he's not either. It's safe to assume that they're spending it together away from everyone else. Chances are, she's not going to show up at your door.
Author GeeziG Posted May 7, 2015 Author Posted May 7, 2015 I feel you not saying she will, and that's just the type of person she is period I mean she's not in an exclusive relationship with the man regardless if they went on the trip together or not trying to make excuses but I wouldn't post pics of someone I wasn't exclusive with either
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