dgiirl Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 How do you stop talking about your ex? I just got dumped by my husband 2 months ago, and now I find myself mentioning stories to co-workers all the time. After, I feel bad/weird for mentioning his name all the time. I want to say my stories, but I often mention his name because he was part of the story.
whichwayisup Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 He was a big part of your life. Ofcourse stories and memories are in your head. How long were you married to him? I'm sorry he dumped you. Any chance of working things out and getting back together? I guess my suggestion would be try to not think about him as much. Concentrate on hobbies that make you happy, go out with girlfriends, see movies, enjoy your own time and then maybe talking about him won't be so second nature. I'm sure it's been difficult for you. Hope this helps.
dgiirl Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 He was a big part of your life. Ofcourse stories and memories are in your head. How long were you married to him? I'm sorry he dumped you. Any chance of working things out and getting back together? I guess my suggestion would be try to not think about him as much. Concentrate on hobbies that make you happy, go out with girlfriends, see movies, enjoy your own time and then maybe talking about him won't be so second nature. I'm sure it's been difficult for you. Hope this helps. Heh, I forgot I posted this thread this morning I just posted my story here I guess I've been thinking about him today too much. I think my main question would be, if I do have a story that was revelant to the conversation, how do you say it without mentioning his name?
Marshbear Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 It is normal to talk about an exH or BF after a breakup. It takes time for the mind to realize that someone important in your life is gone. It is part of the healing process and I wouldn't try to block it out or deny it, just go with it. You will also experience anger, pain, and finally acceptance that it is over. Saying his name is just a way of keeping him with you and remembering. I wouldn't be to concerned about it. Just keep yourself busy and let time take care of the rest....
dgiirl Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 Thanks I guess I was over reacting a little. I was trying desperatly to stop thinking about him all day, but all I kept doing was mentioning his name. I guess it was one of those emotional days Merin helped me a little last night too I'm feeling better today.
reservoirdog1 Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 It took me a number of months to stop spending all my time with my friends talking about my XW and the **** she put me through. I think I managed to stop just before I was in danger of being written off as a colossal bore. That's not to say that she doesn't come up at times, but most often it's in a casual context. I've moved on sufficiently with my life that she doesn't pollute my thoughts nearly as much anymore.
dgiirl Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 Thankfully, I'm not talking about the ex constantly. I've been pretty good about my approach so far. I've talked with a lot of people, one on one and over the few weeks that he left. It gave me the opportunity to keep rehasing all the events, but still keep my friends because they've only heard the story maybe once or twice. Did you find closure before the divorce was final? Or after?
reservoirdog1 Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 Well, the divorce isn't yet final (should be soon) and, possibly because of that, I haven't totally found closure yet, at least emotionally. I'm still pissed at her often but I try to avoid talking about it, and instead burn it off at the gym or on a punching bag. But, the worst of it ended not quite a year ago. There have definitely been ups and downs but they've radically lessened in intensity in that time.
beesknees Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 All I can say is that YOU'RE NORMAL!!! I'm going through a bad breakup w/ my bf of 4 1/2 years, and I've talked the be-jeezers off of my mom's ears for the past 10 weeks. Poor woman. This was my first bf, so it's all new to me, and I feel so guilty for wanting to talk about him and our memories all the time, but I've pushed myself to find other outlets as I know how exhausting it can get on others to have to keep listening to me. Once, my friend and I went on a trip to vegas, and she talked about her ex-bf for 5 hours straight during the whole drive there. By the time we got there, I just wanted to come back, and be alone. I've found that reading other people's posts on LS and participating in the forums is making me feel better. Good luck to you. I read your other post, and your H is a bast*rd. You will survive, and I will too!
dgiirl Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 lol Thanks Beesknees Glad I'm not going crazy. I'm really thankful to find LS. I've been reading a lot of threads and it's definitely made me feel better too. I guess sometimes we just need to vent it all out so that we get sick of hearing ourselves and move on to new and better things Good luck to you too! I'm glad we have our moms to help us out
beesknees Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 hey, no problem! we're all human is what it is. keep truckin', sister girl!
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