AVarma Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 So there are many aspects of my past that are not very positive. I grew up witnessing domestic violence and no longer speak to my parents or brothers. The fact that I didn't have many friends in school and was bullied there. So when does one tell a girlfriend these things? Or does one have to tell at all? Maybe take it to the grave?
preraph Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 Before you get engaged or move in together, you should know a person well enough to know their background, but you shouldn't talk about it prematurely. If you spend some months with someone, eventually you will naturally start talking about your parents and family. At that time, you can tell them and hope they are the type of person to understand. One thing I want to caution you about though, is being sure you have done all you can do to process and deal with this trauma. If you've never gone to therapy to work through that, please do. Because abuse is passed down generation to generation. People with abuse in their childhoods often carry rage the rest of their lives and sometimes that rage can come out and be very destructive and unless you work on dissipating all that in therapy, you could be a danger to someone sometime or just sabotage yourself by losing it at inappropriate times. So please be sure you have yourself sorted before going into a serious relationship. A woman will be much easier about your background if she knows you've worked through it with a professional.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 Don't expose anything that makes you vulnerable until you're in a committed relationship at least. That's my .02
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