TroubleMe Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 I'm sorry but i'm very bad and trying to understand! Fast background, two yrs relationship, long distance, engaged. We were going to marry next month. I had literally my bags packed to move! He started to ignore me and was treating me bad ONE WEEK before this happened... before he was the sweetest person and one week later started to act as a jerk, like nothing mattered anymore. My feelings, our wedding, our life together. He was the kind of guy who said could die for me. I called him because he was avoiding me, got him drunk on the phone, I was calm trying to ask what was going on... he started to scream and treat me bad, and later on I saw he deleted me from skype. It's been 2 days. Please, what is happening? I didn't try to contact him after this... I feel things coming in waves and right now i'm like dying.
TunaCat Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 Well he definitely doesn't sound like a guy about to be married. My guess is that he decided that he wants to be single, so instead of being upfront and telling you this, he pulled the oldest guy trick in the book out. He acted all mean and distant, hoping you'd break up with him so he'd still be the "good guy" Do not contact him again. Cancel all wedding plans. I know it's a month before, and you'll probably lose a lot of money. Send him the bill for half of the expenses. 5
Author TroubleMe Posted May 7, 2015 Author Posted May 7, 2015 In disappeared too. I started moving on with my life and blocked him from social media. No contact because I don't wanna suffer a day anymore! Before I did this 3 days ago I left a last message just saying that I wasn't disappointed for the end but mostly because I didn't deserve his treatment... I was a 2 yr old fiancee not an affair or fwb and we were about to get married (he said I was the love of his whole life!)... I was more hurt because not even a reason or goodbye he gave me. I blocked him from everywhere except skype because he deleted anyways and I'm NC after all this, taking care of myself. I'm ignoring totally his life or whereabouts. Last evening I came home and he dropped me 4 msgs on skype... "Never stopped loving you!" "Didn't block you from anywhere" (but removed and didn't reply my phone calls) "Now I don't even know if you will read this!" " I know it wasn't an affair, I know it was two years together!" And left in there. I replied 4 hours later cuz I had a date... I said "I can read cuz I didn't block. I'm deeply hurt because u simply abandoned me, that's all. Anyways wish u well, from the bottom of my heart, and that u can find a person who makes u happy". Left this way and I'm trying to live my life normally and making new friends and dealing with the pain with peace. Your thoughts?
Author TroubleMe Posted May 7, 2015 Author Posted May 7, 2015 (edited) Well he definitely doesn't sound like a guy about to be married. My guess is that he decided that he wants to be single, so instead of being upfront and telling you this, he pulled the oldest guy trick in the book out. He acted all mean and distant, hoping you'd break up with him so he'd still be the "good guy" Do not contact him again. Cancel all wedding plans. I know it's a month before, and you'll probably lose a lot of money. Send him the bill for half of the expenses. I kinda regret replying but ok I had to be short and say I was ok or whatever (I'm not!). Funny is i asked... I said just I only wanted to know, if he wished to stay single or didn't love me anymore was not his fault and I would respect but I only didn't want to be wondering, that was all. He said he loved me and didn't want to be single. This was 2 days before what he did. I mean... left him free to decide, I just hate being in a vacuum. Edited May 7, 2015 by TroubleMe
Author TroubleMe Posted May 7, 2015 Author Posted May 7, 2015 (edited) Sorry the typos and mess hate to type on my phone. I was reading around, and learned that we are crazy when these things happen because we try so hard for closure! That was driving me insane, really, but then I realized I can make my own closure, I don't need him to give me this... so I started talking to my friends, met a few people, even went on a date for a coffee with a nice guy i met. Nothing romantic, just talking and trying to have some fun and laugh a bit. I had a great afternoon yesterday and I don't want to jump in rebounds right now but I feel much better than when I typed the first message. But yes, I still wonder why not just cut me out... saying "listen I don't wanna be married anymore, and I'm sorry, don't want you to hate me, could we be ok with this?". I'm shocked because he was always so honest no matter what his feelings or thoughts were. I would be sad of course but I could start my healing. Just don't understand why still say "I never stopped loving you" from nowhere yesterday when his actions say the opposite. Edited May 7, 2015 by TroubleMe
mimiMobile Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 In disappeared too. I started moving on with my life and blocked him from social media. No contact because I don't wanna suffer a day anymore! Before I did this 3 days ago I left a last message just saying that I wasn't disappointed for the end but mostly because I didn't deserve his treatment... I was a 2 yr old fiancee not an affair or fwb and we were about to get married (he said I was the love of his whole life!)... I was more hurt because not even a reason or goodbye he gave me. I blocked him from everywhere except skype because he deleted anyways and I'm NC after all this, taking care of myself. I'm ignoring totally his life or whereabouts. Last evening I came home and he dropped me 4 msgs on skype... "Never stopped loving you!" "Didn't block you from anywhere" (but removed and didn't reply my phone calls) "Now I don't even know if you will read this!" " I know it wasn't an affair, I know it was two years together!" And left in there. I replied 4 hours later cuz I had a date... I said "I can read cuz I didn't block. I'm deeply hurt because u simply abandoned me, that's all. Anyways wish u well, from the bottom of my heart, and that u can find a person who makes u happy". Left this way and I'm trying to live my life normally and making new friends and dealing with the pain with peace. Your thoughts? I'm confused. You 2 were together for 2 yrs, this happened all within the last week and you already had a date?
Author TroubleMe Posted May 7, 2015 Author Posted May 7, 2015 I did. Ok, not cool. But was with a friend so was not a true date. Was just a coffee and talking about life. Anyways my ex messaged me asking to talk later. My head is a mess.
Mrin Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 Wow. A lot going on there. So I won't get on your about your "date". Sounds like you know what is good for you and what isn't. You can make up all sorts of stories about what just happened with your fiancee (or ex). Can I offer you one to consider? Gratitude. You should be filled with gratitude that this happened because you were about to move in and get married to this man. How fortunate you are to have found out how he feels about you and what sort of man he is before making the plunge. Just think how lucky you are to have dodged that bullet. Holycow lady, I know you don't feel this way now but you just lucked out. Most people aren't as lucky. They move in, get married and then find out that their partner isn't ready. Then it gets really ugly. Holysmokes! The Universe/God/Whoever is really looking out for you!
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