walkingonair Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 Been dating guy for 10 months.No commitment though,even though he did call me baby all the time and told people i was his gf a few times(when he was drunk though).Beginning of relationship (3 months into relationship) he said he has issues with the word gf cause of bad expereinces in his past.He broke up with me 3 months into the relationship saying he didnt feel a spark but im awesome and perfect and beautiful.2 weeks later contacts me and we continue talking again and things got a bit more serious after that.He did tell me that he doesn;t want a relationship since the beginning though:(He would initiate contact with me everyday and i thnk its cause after he broke up wth me i got distant and stopped initiating for good.Then i saw that he wrote on some website about me and that he thinks i'm wonderful and great and the problem is that he is an emotional brick wall and cant truly get into our relationship and it sucks and hurts him everyday.We would hangout once a week and i sleep over but i felt like he always wanted me to leave by the next day,i felt how uncomfy he felt being too close to me.I also saw him texting girls,he has LOTS of female friends and he hooked up with all of them.I told him i know youre talking to other girls and he said they are just friend but i know that a few of them are girls that hes actually flirting with.I broke up with him two days ago saying i cant be with someone who doesnt see me and him being together in the future and i dont flirt with other guys and him talking/flirting with other girls is disrespectful to me!and i deserve respect.He also is planning to move in a few months.So i said theres no point of us hanging out if you're moving and he said i think you're right.That hurt me soooo much:(it's as if i ment nothing to him.We dated for 10 months and him just sayng i think you're right killed me :(So we haven't spoken for 3 days and he hasnt contacted me.I feel so guilty and like something is wrong with me maybe im just not good enough or pretty enough.if he cared he'd contact me again :(I feel guilty cause we ere still hanging out and i just ruined everything my telling him we shouldn't hangout anymore,but i'm just soooooo tired of feeling not important.I want a guy to want me and love me:(Is it my fault?or does he have serious issues?He told me he's crazy:(
Satu Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 You've done nothing wrong, and you don't need to feel guilty. You and he want different things, have different priorities. Thats not your fault. Its just the way it is.
GoBlue Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 There is nothing for you to feel guilty about. You made your stand and he is not looking for what you are looking for. You want a relationship of love and respect. He is either not willing or he is incapable of giving that to you. I am going to share some deep, deep wisdom with you forged over several years of helping people in their relationships - it is far better to be alone than it is to be in a bad relationship. Yes, I know loneliness stinks, I am well aware of that fact because I am experiencing that reality in my life this very moment and have been for the past six years. He told you from the beginning that he did not want a relationship, but you grew closer and closer anyway probably thinking that he would change. You can change your mind and compromise on your principles, but what do you think the outcome will be? Do you have a support group of some kind to get you through this time? You already know in your heart that if you go back to him you're just going to break-up again when he leaves. BY the way, it doesn't even sound like he would consider it a "break-up" because he doesn't consider the two of you a couple. Please do not compromise. There is someone who will love you and respect you and provide you with a stable relationship. Do not settle. 1
Author walkingonair Posted May 9, 2015 Author Posted May 9, 2015 There is nothing for you to feel guilty about. You made your stand and he is not looking for what you are looking for. You want a relationship of love and respect. He is either not willing or he is incapable of giving that to you. I am going to share some deep, deep wisdom with you forged over several years of helping people in their relationships - it is far better to be alone than it is to be in a bad relationship. Yes, I know loneliness stinks, I am well aware of that fact because I am experiencing that reality in my life this very moment and have been for the past six years. He told you from the beginning that he did not want a relationship, but you grew closer and closer anyway probably thinking that he would change. You can change your mind and compromise on your principles, but what do you think the outcome will be? Do you have a support group of some kind to get you through this time? You already know in your heart that if you go back to him you're just going to break-up again when he leaves. BY the way, it doesn't even sound like he would consider it a "break-up" because he doesn't consider the two of you a couple. Please do not compromise. There is someone who will love you and respect you and provide you with a stable relationship. Do not settle. Thank you for yoru advice Blue!I did feel worse when we were hanging out and were in contact!I'd feel super depressed and sad after every hangout because i felt him pushing me away and it made me feel unwanted and unattaractive.Doing my best to move on.Thank you again,Blue
Recommended Posts