nzmikey Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Hi everyone , really really need to clear my head here and try and understand what the hell is going on. have been in a relationship with my now ex partner for over 2yrs. its been a rollercoaster for pretty much the entire time . a week before breaking up she suggested joining a gym together but i kinda laughed it off. anyways a week after being broken up i have suggested we do it as i thought it would be a good bonding experience so i started last night by myself.. this morning she's banging away about 'I bet the trainer is a f'n women etc' and called saying how I've moved on so quickly etc.. we were meant to be catching up next weekend over lunch to talk where we are at etc but don't know what to think of her behaviour now i know this all sounds childish !.... I'm 39 and she's 31 so can't believe how impossible this has all become need advise as i want her back but any mention of improving things/me/us just gets out of control.. :-/
badpenny Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Hi everyone , really really need to clear my head here and try and understand what the hell is going on. have been in a relationship with my now ex partner for over 2yrs. its been a rollercoaster for pretty much the entire time . Roller-coaster rides come to an end for a reason. if you stay on too long, you throw up. THis has run its course. Anything that was hard work and drama for that long, doesn't deserve revival.... anyways a week after being broken up i have suggested we do it as i thought it would be a good bonding experience so i started last night by myself.. Not a smart move. She's your ex-now - why try to maintain the momentum? this morning she's banging away about 'I bet the trainer is a f'n women etc' and called saying how I've moved on so quickly etc.. It doesn't sound like.... Are you sure you've actually broken up? Or are you just perpetuating the same, old same-old? we were meant to be catching up next weekend over lunch to talk where we are at etc but don't know what to think of her behaviour Where you are' is broken up. She's now your ex. There's no catching up to be done. You now have absolutely no obligation to one another, or any relationship responsibility. You're dragging this out needlessly. But I will agree: Toxic addictions are a hard habit to break.... now i know this all sounds childish !.... I'm 39 and she's 31 so can't believe how impossible this has all become It's called 'flogging a dead horse'. It's not 'impossible'. It's 'pointless'.... need advise as i want her back but any mention of improving things/me/us just gets out of control.. This relationship was a bad deal from the get-go. But if you're addicted to the drama, and can't snap out of the vicious cycle, then just keep doing what you're doing now: STaying in contact and arguing throughout. The way to deal with this EFFECTIVELY - and to heal, move on and leave this mess behind, is to go No Contact. Why would you want someone back, when pretty much the whole time, it was an uncertainty anyway?
Lunay Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 She sounds jealous and insecure. Jealous you are at the gym bettering yourself. Insecure that you'll find someone better than her. Sounds like the "she doesn't want you, but wants no one else to have you" syndrome.
Author nzmikey Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 thank you for your reply. that she is unfortunately.. anyone had luck getting back with an ex :-/
quattrob Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 You said it yourself that your relationship with her was a rollercoaster ride, no idea why you would want to be in that kind of a relationship. There will be bumps here and there in any relationship but from how you described yours, it seems like yours was never a healthy one to begin with. I can't ever imagine myself being with someone as jealous and insecure as your ex.. it's just unnecessary drama and stress.
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