snilljente Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 Yet another guy that I have dated since my divorce (4 years ago) has turned out to be a cheat/liar....with a serious girlfriend for the past two years that he neglected to tell me about while he was dating me. My past two dating experiences have ended by me finding out that the guy is seeing someone else behind my back.....I am 5'8. blonde, athletic, and people tell me that I am beautiful....but I feel so unloveable....I don't feel beautiful....I don't get it......why do guys do this? Why can't they just be upfront and say, "I am interested, but I have a girlfriend right now"...the last guy pursued me since September....and his girlfriend was checking his phone and saw that I had called and called me....We had run into her when we were out and he said she was someone that he had dated in the past...when she asked him later who I was..he was just an aquaintance that he had run into at the restaurant and that I had sat down to join him....he didn't even admit we were on a date....he has been sleeping with her and telling her that he loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her and also seeing me....but he will likely end up with her...he has been spending much more time with her....and not to sound caddy...I saw her and she wasn't even remotely attractive and he's a good looking guy....Is there something wrong with me....I have asked friends/family this question and asked them to please be candid with me and they all say that there is nothing wrong with me, only that I need to be more picky about who I date.....but if I am so "terrific" like they are telling me...why wouldn't he drop his girlfriend to date me instead of just having me on the "side"....I just feel so unloveable....I talked to her and apologized and told her that had I any idea that he was still seeing her, that I would never have gone out with him, that I am not that type of person. She told me that they have had an "amazing" relationship, that he tells her everyday how much he loves her, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her.....I want so badly to hear those words from someone who truly cares.....but it has been years.....even my ex-husband never said these types of things to me.....How can I get over feeling so unloveable and find true love?
ConfusedInOC Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 Yet, I treat my ex like a queen and all that does is turn her away.
Author snilljente Posted April 21, 2005 Author Posted April 21, 2005 Well, if she is your ex, then treating her like a queen probably makes her feel guilty, especially if she was the one who ended it......that's kind of a different situation....why would you want to continue to interact with an ex anyways....? What do you think about my post from a guy's perspective?
ConfusedInOC Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by snilljente Well, if she is your ex, then treating her like a queen probably makes her feel guilty, especially if she was the one who ended it......that's kind of a different situation....why would you want to continue to interact with an ex anyways....? What do you think about my post from a guy's perspective? I think guys are jerks and that you've had bad luck with men. I think you should probably screen them a bit better. If you're a Christian, believe it or not, they have singles events. As for my Ex, treating her the way I did (do), was every day. Not just after. I treated her that way from day one. The problem is, she will not understand or appreciate it until she meets another guy she likes and starts dating that doesn't treat her as well. She calls me "wonderful" but I guess not wonderful enough to marry
angelj Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 i understand how you feel... i am told alllll the time that im beautiful, funny, smart, have the BEST personality blah blah blah... but all i seem to date are losers who end up to be liars or cheats. or cant get over their exes enough to love me the way i want to be loved. sometimes i think im doomed. (ESPECIALLY when i see the exes or the current g/fs and they are grade a trash) but then again it could just be its not our time yet and we are meant for something wayyy better. its just that the waiting game sucks. i hear you girl, keep your head up there are others in your boat.
Author snilljente Posted April 21, 2005 Author Posted April 21, 2005 Confused....hopefully you are right and I have just had back luck....TIME FOR SOME GOOD LUCk....the bad is getting very old!!! You are right about your ex...perhaps down the road she will realize how wonderful you are...but I think that no matter how wonderful a person is, sometimes "it" just isn't there (i.e. chemistry) and relationships end....I am not saying this is the case, but maybe she just isn't the girl for you...this is hard to accept when you are emotionally involved, but be sure to give other girls a chance...there are lots of wonderful women out there who will not let you get away...as for Christian singles events....I start tonight . Angel, so I am not the only one!!! Geez, I was starting to wonder...and yes, the ones that go back to/stay with ex girlfriends who are not all that...it's weird...sometimes I think it may have to do with a guy's self-esteem and him not feeling like he deserves better and deciding to stay with what is safe and the person he knows will put up with his cheating/lying...and not us, who want BETTER!!! I am just mad at myself for not seeing all the warning signs that this guy was cheating/lying...there were alot, but my heart was too involved......and the lies, ugh!!! The whole time he was with me, everything was a lie.....I mean this guy really had the wool pulled over my eyes and I am too smart for that....NEXT TIME!!! Hang in there....our time will come and like my mom said, you are way, way out of his league and you are so lucky to NOT have invested any more time in such a loser.......
ConfusedInOC Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 Since I am told I am great guy, great catch, blah blah, why don't one if you date me and then after a few months tell me what problems I need to fix!!! LOL I know, it sounds pathetic but that's probably what we all in this situation need!
Author snilljente Posted April 21, 2005 Author Posted April 21, 2005 Is it just this one girl that you feel this "rejection" from or has this happened many times? Maybe you try too hard.....?
ConfusedInOC Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by snilljente Is it just this one girl that you feel this "rejection" from or has this happened many times? Maybe you try too hard.....? See my other post. I am pushover when I am in love. I need to figure out how to stop that. My family, my friends and even some of HER family said "Don't let this one go...." Obviously they can see that I am a good guy, I am just fall too hard and do the wrong things. I need to pace myself.
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