Calidude6 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 So I've been dumped by all 3 of my girlfriends. I've treated them all very good, we had our ups and downs like any relationship and had great times together. I'm only 25 so still very young but I'm getting to the point where what the hell am I doing wrong? Because I know exactly what I want when I fall for someone, a future with that person. Am I dating girls and not women? I'm not sure but it's a little frustrating and messing with my self esteem I think. I don't want to be cocky but I'm not an ugly dude but a shy one. I always take care of who I'm with but for some odd reason they fall out of love with me and leave me in pain. Maybe it's the youth or maybe some of my mistakes hurt my relationships. I'm learning from all of it, that's for sure but doesn't feel good when someone gives up on you when you love them to death. So really, how do I make the relationship last?
Redhead14 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 So I've been dumped by all 3 of my girlfriends. I've treated them all very good, we had our ups and downs like any relationship and had great times together. I'm only 25 so still very young but I'm getting to the point where what the hell am I doing wrong? Because I know exactly what I want when I fall for someone, a future with that person. Am I dating girls and not women? I'm not sure but it's a little frustrating and messing with my self esteem I think. I don't want to be cocky but I'm not an ugly dude but a shy one. I always take care of who I'm with but for some odd reason they fall out of love with me and leave me in pain. Maybe it's the youth or maybe some of my mistakes hurt my relationships. I'm learning from all of it, that's for sure but doesn't feel good when someone gives up on you when you love them to death. So really, how do I make the relationship last? It's very difficult to answer that question. What did those women say when they left? What were their reasons for moving on? It's important to listen to those things so that you can learn from them. I always take care of who I'm with -- this is not necessarily a bad thing, however, if you overdo it sometimes, you may smother the woman. If she is a strong, independent, secure woman she doesn't want you to take care of her. What she wants is to be supported and comforted (and pampered a little I realize that you may have been stunned when it happened and maybe didn't take all that they said in because of that, but in order to help you, it would be helpful to know. Without knowing that, I can tell you that it's important even very early on in a relationship to manage your emotions and expectations and to clearly communicate your wants and needs in a relationship and to periodically review those things as you go farther into each relationship so that any potential problems can be addressed early and before they get unmanageable. It is important to listen to your partner carefully for signs of unhappiness and address them as soon as possible. In the end, though, you just need to accept the fact that there are never any guarantees that a relationship will last. 1
Dallers Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Worst thing you can do is over analyse this. I have and it gets you nowhere. I did my fair share of goodbyes when I was younger and actually I use to always be the one doing the dumping but now i'm older I find I am the one being dumped, used etc. I am maybe going for younger girls which may be the problem but it evens out at the end of the day. I know what I want now and when I meet someone I fall for or am really into I want to make it work and see where it can go. You can look back at what you did wrong all you like but it makes no difference what so ever. She had a reason to dump you and it was her reason not yours. Another guy, different interests, got bored. Normally it is something to do with how she feels and not something you have done unless you cheated or lied etc. Continue on your journey, always look to improve yourself but never change because of what someone says to you or chooses to tell you is a bad or wrong thing about you. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 You sound like you're trying too hard to please and "take care" of them. In my experience, women appreciate it more when you treat them like people and you don't put them on pedestals. Don't get me wrong. Planning dates, thoughtful gestures every once and awhile, genuine compliments from time to time, are all well in good. However, if you just keep things simple and take care of business in the bedroom, they tend to be happy. Maybe you're being too nice, and not showing enough backbone/sexual assertiveness?
Author Calidude6 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 Thank you for the replies and advice. One thing I don't do is smother is because I don't like clingy people which makes me not clingy. I just like to support and be there whenever in need. I made my share of mistakes but nothing like cheating, abusive or any rough actions like those. I believe I took my last relationship for granted because I got so comfortable with us that some things I stopped doing or didn't change a little. But with all the experiences I've learned, I hope to put it all together for the next one so I can be a better me and not make these mistakes. I'm in the process of healing from my ex who I really wanted a future with more than anyone and have tiny hope we meet paths again but if not, she made me a better man that someone else will appreciate. Just hard going through the process of healing.
Author Calidude6 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 You sound like you're trying too hard to please and "take care" of them. In my experience, women appreciate it more when you treat them like people and you don't put them on pedestals. Don't get me wrong. Planning dates, thoughtful gestures every once and awhile, genuine compliments from time to time, are all well in good. However, if you just keep things simple and take care of business in the bedroom, they tend to be happy. Maybe you're being too nice, and not showing enough backbone/sexual assertiveness? I will say this that I know hurt my relationship, once I got really comfortable with her...the sex started to become the same. We had sex a lot but it was like the same and I didn't change it up as much as I should have. Also with her, I didn't really put her on a pedestal, I just didn't show much affection and want that she felt unwanted which led to not being happy. I got too comfortable
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