Redhead14 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 always talks bout spoiling me -- until he actually starts spoiling you, you don't give more than he gives you. 1
stillafool Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 I shower him with affection n care n cook for him n take care of him. I don't think a person should pay for affection unless they hire a hooker. Doesn't he show you affection also? You cook for him but has he ever bought you a meal? Also has he told you "I love you"? 1
Author lil_missy Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 You can't measure love or caring in dollars. The minute you try you are a prostitute, nothing more. You sound spoiled. To say that besides paying for meals & movies, he hasn't gotten you anything yet . . . wow. What does he owe you? So what that he makes 6 figures? When you make a contribution that somebody finds that valuable you can earn that too. Until then, be careful because you come across as a gold digger. If that is not your intention, think long & hard before you demand repayment &/or gifts. You may get your $150 & lose a BF. I just want to mention I'm not a gold digger. It's just I have bought him an expensive wallet when he lost his and other small things. But he promised me a freakin candle which he still hasn't got me. It just all adds up for me so not just the ticket. I wasn't bothered until His workmates comment that I spoil him so much n It just got under my skin that I already feel like I might be giving too much in the relationship 1
katiegrl Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 So we been dating 2 months. He makes much more money than I do although I'm not poor. We decide to go to a concert and it costs $150 each and I bought the tickets. I checked with him if the price is alright and he said yes. Afterwards he never mentioned bout paying me back. ****Now he is a great bf in every other way, he pays for everything else every time we go out. Is super caring and will help me with anything. **** I do lots for him too in fact I spoil him cook for him and buys presents for him. OP, please read your own quote (in asterisk) above. Keep reading it over and over. Cut and paste it to your fridge!! And then forget about this and move on...
cessna Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Well he earns 6 digits and always talks bout spoiling me, but besides paying a for meals n movies when we go out he hasn't ever bought me anything. I told him the other day point blank, you haven't got me anything ever. And today he seems to be finally getting the hint to buy me something. I don't think I'm being cheap. That's the relationship dynamic that I'm used to . I shower him with affection n care n cook for him n take care of him. You come across as a spoilt little brat to be brutally honest. He hasn't ever bought you anything? You've only been dating for two months, and anyway, I thought he offered to buy you hundreds of dollars worth of presents?... Which is it then? I'd run for the hills if I were him. 6
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 I just want to mention I'm not a gold digger. It's just I have bought him an expensive wallet when he lost his and other small things. But he promised me a freakin candle which he still hasn't got me. It just all adds up for me so not just the ticket. I wasn't bothered until His workmates comment that I spoil him so much n It just got under my skin that I already feel like I might be giving too much in the relationship You remind me of Women who set expectations after giving a guy sex. Except you're giving him gifts Don't buy gifts for him if you have expectations that he must do the same for you. A gift should make you feel good about giving it, not resentful that he didn't match it. 4
d0nnivain Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 I just want to mention I'm not a gold digger. It's just I have bought him an expensive wallet when he lost his and other small things. But he promised me a freakin candle which he still hasn't got me. It just all adds up for me so not just the ticket. I wasn't bothered until His workmates comment that I spoil him so much n It just got under my skin that I already feel like I might be giving too much in the relationship If has all this money from a 6 figure income & you don't, why are you buying him expensive stuff this early in the relationship? Inside 6 months, it's rare for me to give or accept expensive gifts. I'd rather something $25 & thoughtful. If you feel like you are constantly giving in the relationship, affection, stuff, this wallet & getting nothing in return, your problems aren't about the money.
Gary S Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Since he is makes a lot more than you do, he should be paying for most of the dates.... and he is. He paid for all the dates except one concert and you are bothered by this? Please, give me a break. Grow up!
casey.lives Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 I think you should stay quiet. did you both have fun??? that's what matters because without him, you alone would have most likely not gone alone.
Gary S Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Read her last thread. - thank you Gaeta... I read her last thread.... yeah, I smell a rat. 1
MissBee Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 So we been dating 2 months. He makes much more money than I do although I'm not poor. We decide to go to a concert and it costs $150 each and I bought the tickets. I checked with him if the price is alright and he said yes. Afterwards he never mentioned bout paying me back. Now he is a great bf in every other way, he pays for everything else every time we go out. Is super caring and will help me with anything. I do lots for him too in fact I spoil him cook for him and buys presents for him. I feel offended he didn't even offer to pay for the concert ticket which he is supposedly so excited to go with me. I feel he should be paying for me coz I'm his girlfriend, it's so plain n simple. I will love n appreciate him in other ways I feel I shouldn't even have to ask him to pay coz he should know. Now I'm stuck mad at him n don't know what to say. If I say nothing I'll hold resentment but if I do say something I'm afraid it won't be pretty I don't think you can assume he "should know" or that it is is "so plain and obvious." It obviously isn't for him. Perhaps the way you did it made it seem like a gift and like you were doing it for him too, which isn't wrong to assume. If you couldn't afford to do both you should have said something. I get you wanted him to simply offer to pay, but since he didn't it's best to be truthful with him about how you feel and talk it over. Do you want him to pay for his ticket or pay you back for both yours and his? I don't think the latter is fair but if you don't have the money to gift it you can certainly ask for his portion and just bring up how you truly feel and talk it through. 1
Moy Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 I don't think that he's as wealthy as he says he is. He's using you, knowing that you're following the smell of cash, which he doesn't actually have. You're using him, following the smell of aforementioned cash. CASHFISH!!!! 1
fitnessfan365 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Well you do admit that he pays for everything when you two go out. So maybe he thinks that it's your turn for a change.
Gaeta Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) Well you do admit that he pays for everything when you two go out. So maybe he thinks that it's your turn for a change. He is paying movies and food (dinner). She feeds him every day of the week, add it up. He's a free loader, read her last thread. Edited May 5, 2015 by Gaeta
Vercetti Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 So he buys you things all the time and treats you well. Think you are being a bit petty with the tickets. Are you really going to count the dollar amount of the tickets...while he is offering gifts of greater value then the tickets before the show even takes place.
Gaeta Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 So he buys you things all the time and treats you well. Think you are being a bit petty with the tickets. Are you really going to count the dollar amount of the tickets...while he is offering gifts of greater value then the tickets before the show even takes place. He never offered her anything. All he did is buy dinner and payed for movies. On the other hand she is the one buying gifts, tickets, and cooking for him every day of the week.
SunnySide0418 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 I think it's time for a frank discussion with him. Ask - why he still lives at home and take it from there. Something doesn't sound right.. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 I didn't read the last thread, but from what it sounds like, the OP's dating behavior is relatively unhealthy... None of this would be an issue with proper boundaries/communication. If this guy is indeed a freeloader, the OP Should dump him. However she needs to realize that she's enabling his behavior as well. 1
Vercetti Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Ok I was just going from the topic and first page. Thought saw something about cloths. Projected a bit as in my relationship wants and needs flow free. Would be ticked if one day my other half counted the amount of a single thing given to me. Anyhow thought the dynamics were different. Beyond that, I would not be comfortable with a girl of a few months worried about my income and what % should be shaved off for her. Personally thanks for 300$ tickets for a few hours of entertainment around a bunch of drunks...thank me for diverting funds for bills / emergency / retirement if you're still around then.
Vercetti Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 That last thread, geee. I have seen guys live with mom that honestly pulled large amounts of money. Only they were so upside down in debt and other stupidity the earning was negated. I know women that got grifted by them for years. Thing is a con game only works on the greedy, women thought the guy would be a future meal ticket and got taken on the long ride. Yeah 100k$ a year, lived with mom, and had to finiance sub 1k$ items...no savings.....but liked gin and clubs. No respect for guys such as, only not much more for girls that chase a guy living with mom cause if alleged income.
Jessie1231 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 You bought him a concert ticket and a wallet. He pays for every time you go out. If you're keeping score, it sounds about even to me. However, you shouldn't be keeping score this way if your relationship is going ok this early. I've had plenty of relationships where the guy was paying for everything so I insisted on buying something (like concert tickets) early on. It wasn't a big deal for me, and I don't understand why it is for you.
Gaeta Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 OP: How much does it cost you extra in groceries to cook for him every day? Do you feel when he pays your weekend outings it's fair? I can't imagine a pair of movie tickets costing the same as a week worth of grocery shopping to feed him.
dancingsunflowers80 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 I encourage you to talk to your boyfriend in an open way! Open and honest communication will enhance your relationship...if it negatively affects the relationship, then you may have some hard questions to ask yourself. Will pray for ya to have the courage to talk openly with him! You can do it girlie! mommato2lilmonkeys
Omei Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) Imo the time has come and passed If he pays for you often as you say why not just take this one? surely he's racked up 150$ on you by now. Honestly im confused by this post first it was he treats you out all the time and offers hundreds in presents now the tune has changed to victim and you spend all the money so which is it really Edited May 5, 2015 by Omei
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