Rko28 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 I matched with a really cute girl on tinder last week, was a bit surprised tbh as she looks lovely and seems in to really cool stuff. Anyway we exchanged a few messages over tinder, she took a long time to reply but seemed interested when she did reply asking questions etc. It turns out we have a few mutual friends, so I asked about her to one of our friends who said what a lovely girl she is, good morals, doesnt sleep around etc. On the saturday I suggested swapping numbers as sometimes tinder messages dont come through straight away plus im on tinder burnout at the moment and want to leave it, she replied quickly saying what a good idea it was and gave me her number. so far so good. I whatsappd her a few hours later as I was busy, she read it instantly but then didnt reply. It got to yesterday afternoon and still no reply so I thought id chase up, I jokingly said she was a poor texter, she read it agains traight away and replied isntantly laughing saying how she means to reply to texts but then forgets and shes well known for it, asked me about my day weekend etc. I replied and then...well no reply again, plus shes been on and off whatsapp since. Now shes either just not that interested or legit about her being a bad texter. Should I initiate another text? bite the bullet and ask her out even after only a few days of not that much chatting?
Author Rko28 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 would I not come across incredibly needy by hounding her for the 2nd time in 2 days after no text back though?
Diezel Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Maybe, but at least you would have your answer about her interest level rather than to keep wasting your time. It seems like it is very mild, to be honest, but do you really want to keep trying for days to build that up?
Author Rko28 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 Maybe, but at least you would have your answer about her interest level rather than to keep wasting your time. It seems like it is very mild, to be honest, but do you really want to keep trying for days to build that up? Quite right, at least I will know either way. Just hard to think of a way to say it without it coming over pushy/clingy
Diezel Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 "Hey, I am going to XXX at XXX time, you should come with me." Or something to that effect. It's not that hard.
soyou Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 I'm a woman and I've been using Tinder for a long while. I dont think she's that interested in you. There is no such a bad texter. When people are not lukewarm or not interested in somebody, they use this as an excuse. I've used it plenty of times! You can poke her up one more time asking her straight up "hey, would you like to grab some drinks/coffee on......" If she makes excuses, then you know clearly for yourself she's not interested in. But I'm 1000% sure "SHE'S NOT THAT INTO YOU" 1
Author Rko28 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 I'm a woman and I've been using Tinder for a long while. I dont think she's that interested in you. There is no such a bad texter. When people are not lukewarm or not interested in somebody, they use this as an excuse. I've used it plenty of times! You can poke her up one more time asking her straight up "hey, would you like to grab some drinks/coffee on......" If she makes excuses, then you know clearly for yourself she's not interested in. But I'm 1000% sure "SHE'S NOT THAT INTO YOU" Thats my feeling too, I guess I'll know later today after I ask her out
ZA Dater Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 In my opinion Tinder is the singular worst dating platform, well for guys at any rate, for females its great as generally the people, well at least in SA seem to a step up from what finds on other sites. For females it offers fantastic window shopping ability, chat to one guy and then dump when a hotter one comes along. Post up a pic with lots of cleavage and see the guys swarm. Cynical over and out.
Author Rko28 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 In my opinion Tinder is the singular worst dating platform, well for guys at any rate, for females its great as generally the people, well at least in SA seem to a step up from what finds on other sites. For females it offers fantastic window shopping ability, chat to one guy and then dump when a hotter one comes along. Post up a pic with lots of cleavage and see the guys swarm. Cynical over and out. Im with you on that, I've always thought its much easier for girls to attract males, you have the ability to wear make up etc I have met a few girls off tinder over the past couple of years and to be fair theyve all been really lovely.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 OP her interest level seems low/lukewarm. I would go dark on her for a bit( 4-7 days), and then reset and ask her out.
Author Rko28 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 OP her interest level seems low/lukewarm. I would go dark on her for a bit( 4-7 days), and then reset and ask her out. It really is, truth be told its exactly what i'd be doing if I wasnt that interested in someone, but she was keen to hand over her number to me. 4/7 days seems a bit too long for my liking not to speak?
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 It really is, truth be told its exactly what i'd be doing if I wasnt that interested in someone, but she was keen to hand over her number to me. 4/7 days seems a bit too long for my liking not to speak? She already knows you like her, so don't worry. Just make yourself less available and see how she responds. When you are courting a Woman you need to constantly assess her interest levels and mirror her properly. If she contacts you a lot, you can return contact more often. If she doesn't contact you a lot, you don't contact her a lot.
Redhead14 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 I matched with a really cute girl on tinder last week, was a bit surprised tbh as she looks lovely and seems in to really cool stuff. Anyway we exchanged a few messages over tinder, she took a long time to reply but seemed interested when she did reply asking questions etc. It turns out we have a few mutual friends, so I asked about her to one of our friends who said what a lovely girl she is, good morals, doesnt sleep around etc. On the saturday I suggested swapping numbers as sometimes tinder messages dont come through straight away plus im on tinder burnout at the moment and want to leave it, she replied quickly saying what a good idea it was and gave me her number. so far so good. I whatsappd her a few hours later as I was busy, she read it instantly but then didnt reply. It got to yesterday afternoon and still no reply so I thought id chase up, I jokingly said she was a poor texter, she read it agains traight away and replied isntantly laughing saying how she means to reply to texts but then forgets and shes well known for it, asked me about my day weekend etc. I replied and then...well no reply again, plus shes been on and off whatsapp since. Now shes either just not that interested or legit about her being a bad texter. Should I initiate another text? bite the bullet and ask her out even after only a few days of not that much chatting? She gave you her number. Call her! Get out of texting especially since she's said she was a bad texter. What's the difference if you ask now or a little later. It's still just two strangers meeting somewhere for a drink or coffee. 2
Author Rko28 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 She gave you her number. Call her! Get out of texting especially since she's said she was a bad texter. What's the difference if you ask now or a little later. It's still just two strangers meeting somewhere for a drink or coffee. If I had met her in person I'd have no qualms in calling but I think calling is a bit OTT at this stage personally.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 She gave you her number. Call her! Get out of texting especially since she's said she was a bad texter. What's the difference if you ask now or a little later. It's still just two strangers meeting somewhere for a drink or coffee. Blind calling someone usually ends up going to VM, its better to check and see when a good time to call is. (in my experience) Calling her when she doesn't show interest isn't a good idea either, it's desperate. 2
Gary S Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Have a conversation through text and set up a time to call. Say, "I'd love to hear what your voice sounds like, would 6 PM tonight be a good time to call?" If she's interested, she'll say "yes" or suggest another time. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Have a conversation through text and set up a time to call. Say, "I'd love to hear what your voice sounds like, would 6 PM tonight be a good time to call?" If she's interested, she'll say "yes" or suggest another time. That's what I would do Gary but I'd never hint at calling her unless I knew that she was interested. The OP's posts exhibit that she is low interest currently. Only two things you can do with a low interest woman: Move on to the next girlGo dark for a period of time and reinitiate
Author Rko28 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 Well she text me more or less as soon as I got home, again apologising claiming she's the worst texter in the world, said some stuff about her day etc. I replied about 30 minutes later, she read it straight away and then....nothing! Next text I send is a definite you free this weekend lets do something kinda thing
Diezel Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Know what... don't bother. If she were really, REALLY into you, she wouldn't be a "bad texter". Dump her number.
Vintage79 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Yeah - I'm not sure why that last text wasn't an invitation, given that you know she doesn't reply quickly/at all, but definitely make the next one an invitation, and just put out something really specific (day, time, location), as opposed to casually seeing if she's available during a weekend...
Author Rko28 Posted May 6, 2015 Author Posted May 6, 2015 Yeah - I'm not sure why that last text wasn't an invitation, given that you know she doesn't reply quickly/at all, but definitely make the next one an invitation, and just put out something really specific (day, time, location), as opposed to casually seeing if she's available during a weekend... I just presumed because she was online whilst i typed that she would reply pretty quickly, especially after apologising (again) for being such a rubbish texter. Dont worry tho, tonight im sending the text with a set date, time and idea for meeting up. if i get anything less than an enthusiastic reply then her numbers deleted.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 Well she text me more or less as soon as I got home, again apologising claiming she's the worst texter in the world, said some stuff about her day etc. I replied about 30 minutes later, she read it straight away and then....nothing! Next text I send is a definite you free this weekend lets do something kinda thing If she's being flakey you shouldn't be so eager to interact with her. Imo an apology text doesn't warrant a response in itself, unless she contacted you for reasons other than apologizing.
Author Rko28 Posted May 6, 2015 Author Posted May 6, 2015 If she's being flakey you shouldn't be so eager to interact with her. Imo an apology text doesn't warrant a response in itself, unless she contacted you for reasons other than apologizing. but in the world of internet dating dont you have to strike whilst the iron is hot? or in this case very luke warm?
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 but in the world of internet dating dont you have to strike whilst the iron is hot? or in this case very luke warm? Kinda. Most girls will multi-date, but it's really the principle behind things. If a girl messages me in the morning, I message her at night. I like pacing things because then they feel like they've been talking to you longer and grow comfortable with meeting you by the time you ask. It also shows that you have better things to do than hover waiting for replies, and don't have a needy personality. Women dislike desperate/needy men, and can smell them a mile away.
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