ZA Dater Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Ok I admit I read the closed thread, felt I wanted to reply and then realised the thread had been closed which is unfortunate because I felt the discussion was a meaningful one. As a 30yo with no experience at all I must say I was surprised by the comments in that thread and I did agree with the OP to a large degree. However, lets try and bring some positivity here. Surely its not impossible to turn inexperience into success, surely not every attractive person is so judgemental? Sure one can simply lie and hope the awkwardness goes away but is awkwardness a total turn off even if the guy is fundamentally a nice guy? I am looking for real opinions on that. Having said that I do believe inexperience is easily picked up. Instead of this thread turning into anther argument lets try and come up with a few possible solutions (31 in 10 days and no experience at all)
guild11 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 I was once a shy guy, I couldnt ask a girl out, could do it only over the internet. Then one day I said "screw it" and asked random girls for a date, some said no and some said yes, but they all like my approach. stop over thinking about things and enjoy the life.
Vercetti Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Overthinking and creating problems. It's really that simple. See more people think fantasy in mind is reality of dynamic human interaction. They set themself up for failure and sabotage themselfs in the most obtuse ways, for proff they really are the odd men out and the game of life is rigged against them. Sometimes I even see the definitive list of issues that turn ALL women off, when I'm bloody married with a few supposed forever alone traits that should end my genetic line. Trial and error, just don't suicide bomb yourself then cry everyone else is at fault. Freaking trying to logically map out failue with women...screw logic, that's most people's problem when dealing with emotion. Create a better reality then can't win for losing. Advice...wait tables. You're forced to interact and anticipate needs endlessly. Every table that comes in, you have to introduce / make small talk / make suggestion / ect. Group of drop dead beautiful women sit in you're section, yup have to go interact with the same grace all other tables got with them. You will naturally get good at reading people, where thier from / what do for a living / if happy / ect. If socically aquward, wait tables...Will get a crash course dealing with people and not tripping yourself up.
oh.so.lost. Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Fake it til you make it. Confidence, that is;) eventually, you will gain some experience. Everyone started somewhere right?
Author ZA Dater Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 Advice...wait tables. You're forced to interact and anticipate needs endlessly. Every table that comes in, you have to introduce / make small talk / make suggestion / ect. Group of drop dead beautiful women sit in you're section, yup have to go interact with the same grace all other tables got with them. You will naturally get good at reading people, where thier from / what do for a living / if happy / ect. If socically aquward, wait tables...Will get a crash course dealing with people and not tripping yourself up. Not sure I could go from a CPA to a waiter but yes I get what you are saying.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 maybe seek out help from a dating Coach OP?
Sunyata Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 I'm sort of in a similar situation. I think most people without experience (especially this late) have some sort of disconnect from their emotions/sense of identity earlier in life. A solid sense of identity will be vulnerable and sort of naturally end up with someone or other. Humans were meant to get together and the body is wired for it. Some people end up too much in their head and in our sort of judgment-reasoning state, where we rate girls on what they would mean about us or something, rather than just liking it. I've found as I'm able to be more in touch with just doing stuff I enjoy, the more girls like me... or at least the more I notice it. Don't know if any of that makes sense. I am going through stuff now, turning 30 in two weeks, that makes me feel 16 years old, like being afraid to call this girl I've gone on two dates with.
Author ZA Dater Posted May 10, 2015 Author Posted May 10, 2015 I'm sort of in a similar situation. I think most people without experience (especially this late) have some sort of disconnect from their emotions/sense of identity earlier in life. A solid sense of identity will be vulnerable and sort of naturally end up with someone or other. Humans were meant to get together and the body is wired for it. Some people end up too much in their head and in our sort of judgment-reasoning state, where we rate girls on what they would mean about us or something, rather than just liking it. I've found as I'm able to be more in touch with just doing stuff I enjoy, the more girls like me... or at least the more I notice it. Don't know if any of that makes sense. I am going through stuff now, turning 30 in two weeks, that makes me feel 16 years old, like being afraid to call this girl I've gone on two dates with. You make some great points in the above, for me I just find there is a very select type of person I find attractive and its not the blond with 32d's, for me attractiveness has become defined by a certain type of personality, this was after I met someone who wasn't that hot physically but had the most amazing vivacious, special personality, she was really larger than life and unlike many people she stimulated my mind which made me physically want her quite badly. I can meet hot people but part of me has already given up because I know I cant do anything with that calibre of person and they simply aren't looking for a guy like me. Wrong yes but a coping mechanism from being rejected. Highly doubt I am ever going to get any experience.
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