We had sex on the first date. She cancelled on date #2. I wanna try one more time...

[runaway]

I met a girl (dating app match) about 10 days ago. We had a great time that night and ended up having sex that night. I had the best sex of my life with her, and I have been thinking about her a lot since then. I think she had a great time as well because she came a few times. She told me many times how hot and sexy I was, and so forth. I texted her here and there leading up to the day we agreed to meet. This was three days ago. She and I texted early afternoon that day for confirmation. Two or three hours later, however, she texted me, “Hey I can’t hang out tonight cause i’m sick, like throwing up. I’m really sorry.” She didn’t even try to reschedule it. I was extremely upset, angry, and confused. I wrote, “hope you feel better soon” and left it at that. I’ve been wondering for days where I lost her. Or was she really sick? Or did she want me just for that one night? I have all these questions in my head that won’t be answered. I have not contacted her since her cancellation. I have to admit I want to see her again really badly. The sex I had with her and her amazing body keep me wanting more and more. I am not getting my hopes up anymore, but I want to give it one last try. I plan on calling her and say something like, “Hey ____, hope you have recovered from your sickness last weekend. It’s been a while since the last time we spent time together. Why don’t we catch up this week(end)?” If she gives me a less than enthusiastic response, I will know for sure I am done. When should I call her? Also, if I should say things differently, what should I say? Thank you all.

[Ambivalence]

Hey, I call this one-itis. It's great that you pulled on the first date, but you have to remember that this one woman doesn't offer anything that special.

 

Advice: go have sex with more women

[Photofinish]

I met a girl (dating app match) about 10 days ago. We had a great time that night and ended up having sex that night. I had the best sex of my life with her, and I have been thinking about her a lot since then. I think she had a great time as well because she came a few times. She told me many times how hot and sexy I was, and so forth. I texted her here and there leading up to the day we agreed to meet. This was three days ago. She and I texted early afternoon that day for confirmation. Two or three hours later, however, she texted me, “Hey I can’t hang out tonight cause i’m sick, like throwing up. I’m really sorry.” She didn’t even try to reschedule it. I was extremely upset, angry, and confused. I wrote, “hope you feel better soon” and left it at that. I’ve been wondering for days where I lost her. Or was she really sick? Or did she want me just for that one night? I have all these questions in my head that won’t be answered. I have not contacted her since her cancellation. I have to admit I want to see her again really badly. The sex I had with her and her amazing body keep me wanting more and more. I am not getting my hopes up anymore, but I want to give it one last try. I plan on calling her and say something like, “Hey ____, hope you have recovered from your sickness last weekend. It’s been a while since the last time we spent time together. Why don’t we catch up this week(end)?” If she gives me a less than enthusiastic response, I will know for sure I am done. When should I call her? Also, if I should say things differently, what should I say? Thank you all.

 

Either she just wanted you for that one night or lost respect for you.

[PogoStick]

skip the part about hoping she feels better. get straight to the point. "want to meet for a drink at XYZ Friday at 7?"

[El Pallasso]

When a woman has sex with a man that she is attracted to, she will move Heaven and earth to see him again. Sorry but she's not interested in seeing you again and contacting her a second time after she flaked without a counter will only solidify her decision.

 

Move on from his one. There are billions of other women out there. Don't let one-itis cloud your judgment.

[Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646]

It was a one night stand, don't try and date her if she's pulling that crap.

 

She's probably good for a booty call if you're ever desperate though (provided she enjoyed the sex with you)

[joseb]

Two or three hours later, however, she texted me, “Hey I can’t hang out tonight cause i’m sick, like throwing up. I’m really sorry.” She didn’t even try to reschedule it. I was extremely upset, angry, and confused.

 

That is an over reaction. You only had one date with her. You are allowing your emotions to run too high.

Also, I kind of agree with some of the other posters in that it sounds a bit like one-itis.

 

However, I reckon it's worth a follow up call.

Just ask her out .

 

“Hey ____, hope you have recovered from your sickness last weekend. It’s been a while since the last time we spent time together. Why don’t we catch up this week(end)?”

 

Don't say "its been a while...." and "why dont we", it sounds kinda weak.

Just ask her if she would like to meet you at xyz location at hh:mm time?

If she says no, or flakes (e.g. says she can't but doesn't offer an alternative) then just leave it ... and no need to get angry - not everyone likes everyone

[fitnessfan365]

Here's one way to look at it. If a girl is actually sick, she'll have no idea when she's going to be better. So it's not like she can throw out a day. Granted, it would be awesome if she were to say "We will re-schedule when I feel better". But in the moment, if a woman is sick, all she knows is that she can't get together and re-scheduling isn't on her mind.

 

That's why I always ignore the text, and then follow up 2-3 days later telling her the doctor wanted to check in on his patient. More often than not, it gets a response of "You're so sweet for checking in on me". Then I call and tell her she can thank me properly by getting together and make plans. Most of the time it leads to dates. Either because she was actually sick or I wasn't effected by her flake.

[JohnsonBaby]

Perhaps she didnt enjoy it that much or something put her off.She won't tell you with words but with actions . It takes 20 seconds or less to text you even just to say hi. You can try to do what fitnessfan told you but if she flakes or doesn't reply ,needless to say ,let it go.

[Justanaverageguy]

What is the best way to send her a different message then? How do I let her know I actually want to spend time with her and get to know her better?

 

Kind of like shutting the gate once the horse has bolted. She either wanted a one night stand and so that is all she was interested in .... or she is embarrassed about putting out on the first date.

 

The truth is both men and women want "the chase" at the beginning of a relationship to make it last. Honestly they really do. My guess is if this girl was super interested in you and keen to see you and pursue a relationship after putting out on the first date - you would actually be pulling away or lose interest very quickly.

 

Why because she was "too easy to catch". Right or wrong our society adds and subtracts value for woman based on their sexual promiscuity at the start of the relationship. Its not just Men either - women are actually the worst at doing this. Men all want to find a girl who is a demon in the sack .... but we want them to be difficult to get into the sack at the beginning. We like to believe that we were a special and unique snowflake who was able to unchain the locks of her chastity belt that no other man before could penetrate. Then when we get to the bedroom we also want her to act like a porn star. Kind of a counter intuitive idea.

 

Women know this instinctively or over time they come to understand this is how it works. As a result those girls who have put out on the first date often freak out - they realize they didn't follow the unwritten rules of attraction and so they don't want to see you again.

 

So tip for the future .... if you really like a girl try not to sleep with her on date 1

[Eternal Sunshine]

Girls can be sexually attracted to you at the moment without being interested in dating you.

 

If you want to try again, do it without any reference to "it's been a while". I canceled a second date with a guy recently because meh, I couldn't be bothered. He messaged me a week later with something like "Hey, I am still interested in catching up. Are you free this weekend?". I thought that was cool. If he referred to me canceling in any way, I would be really turned off.