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So last night my ex called me. I didn't pick up b/c I was waiting for a phone call from someone else and I didn't really want to talk to her just yet. I called her back 2 hours later.

 

She called because she wanted to clear the air with stuff she saw on social media. I'll admit that I had a flirty exchange with a girl on fb. She started it! And my ex had some questions.

 

We had another break up talk before this so I was already enjoying the single life. I was doing what I wanted to do and we were on NC for 2 days. Last time we spoke I said I wanted a break and she wanted a break up so I assumed we broke up completely.

 

Ex called b/c she thought I ended the relationship to be with the other girl since that other girl came out of no where. I told her no she was not the reason why we broke up. Reason was because of something she did that I couldn't get over no matter how hard I tried.

 

She was under the assumption that we were on a break so we can work on ourselves to get over the bad and become stronger than before. The few days we went NC were the days I started to resent/disliking her while she was missing me. She wanted to get back together but I just don't see that happening. She said that maybe we can get back together later down the road whether its a year or less when you forgive me. I told her I can't promise anything and right now I don't want to be with anyone, please don't wait.

 

There was no anger in the end. Again it was a sad and hurtful ending but it had to be done.

 

She said she regrets doing what she did and she ruined the best thing she had. I'm the one that got away.

 

So we said our goodbyes, and I drove off.

 

She called me today crying. She said that she knows she messed up and she was unable to fully love me because she has a lot of traumatic experience from her previous years that she needs to sort through. She said she has no intention to be with another man for a whole year until she is able to happy with herself. She said after that year if I'm still not happy with myself I will go for another year, but I'm not giving up on you. It's as if she finally came to her realization to what she needs to be doing.

 

She asked if she can still call me. I said that's not a good idea because it will prevent us from moving forward with our own lives.

 

Now, I just found that she deleted me off FB. I'm ok with that I told her to do so. I have no desire to talk to her. I don't want to be with her. I just can't see it working out right now.

 

I want to be by myself and do what I want to do. Am I sad, of course. Am I angry, not at all. I don't regret my relationship and I don't hate my ex despise what was done. I will not talk bad about her to anyone because I'm not that guy and she was a good girl...just a lot of problems she never really dealt with.

 

I keep telling myself. No matter what everything will always be ok.

 

Now you guys are probably wondering about the other girl...so here it is.

 

This new girl works at my job. Very cute. She pretty much fills all the standards I wanted in a girl that my ex was unable to do. She's very sweet and she has her head together. When we talk its really comfortable. With my ex it was like I was walking on egg shells. And even with other girls I talked to I didn't have that comfort feeling.

 

She has a lot of potential but I know I shouldn't get into anything right now. I don't want to ruin a great opportunity by making her a rebound. Will I pursue her? Yes, but not any time soon. I will try my best to keep it friendly and clean. I want to make sure I'm ok and ready first.

 

Everything will be ok.

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