Nomad Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 People have said the girl makes the choice in wether or not a couple is going to date. Would it be safe to say that a girl knows if she wants to date a guy or not from the moment she meets him? Can anyone truly "win over" a girl? Has anyone ever been initially unappealing to a girl & gradually "worked on" her til you got her?
HoldOn Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 well... I can't speak for everyone. But what do you mean by wooing? I knew my bf for 5 years before we dated. My friend was always trying to get me to like him and suggesting all the good things about him. I was involved with another guy for the first 3 years I knew my bf. When I broke up with my ex, I just started seeing what a great guy he was. Even though before I had not seen him in a romantic way. It was mostly my friend's influence on me by telling me how great we'd be together. But he never *did* anything, untill he asked me out and I immediately said yes. So, I don't think it would work in most cases, but in my case it was a very gradual thing.
westernxer Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 Originally posted by Nomad Would it be safe to say that a girl knows if she wants to date a guy or not from the moment she meets him? yes Can anyone truly "win over" a girl? anyone's guess Has anyone ever been initially unappealing to a girl & gradually "worked on" her til you got her? yes
Marshbear Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 yes, usually a girl knows soon after meeting you if she wants a romantic relationship. This is why guys who try to be friends first get so frustrated because the girl has already decided it is friendship only. Can you woo her? Some guys have the talent to get a girl to change her mind but they are rare...
NoWoo Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 I would refuse to date anyone who actually said the word "woo."
alphamale Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by Nomad Would it be safe to say that a girl knows if she wants to date a guy or not from the moment she meets him? many different studies over time have well documented that women make up their mind within 5 to 10 minutes of meeting a new man whether or not he will be in "friends" category or if she will sleeep with him. this is why first impressions and confidence are so impt for a man. if you come of strong and dominant at the very begininng she will want u and keep that 1st impression in her head for a long long time.
prisoner Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 there is no normative here. there is no one way a woman responds or another way. the entire point of studies is that they report something that has happened. not what is going to happen. heisenburg applies. women cannot be put in to boxes. or round holes. or whatever. they are universal.
HotCaliGirl Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 alphamale wrote:women make up their mind within 5 to 10 minutes of meeting a new man whether or not he will be in "friends" category or if she will sleeep with him. That is SO true alphamale. In a few minutes, i just KNOW and rarely will I change my mind. alphamale wrote:this is why first impressions and confidence are so impt for a man. if you come of strong and dominant at the very begininng she will want u and keep that 1st impression in her head for a long long time. That is also SO SO true! Even when he is starting to act/look retarded, the woman will remember how he was when she first met him if he was sharp and had it going on... That first impression just sticks, even if it is the other way around...
moimeme Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 many different studies over time have well documented that women make up their mind within 5 to 10 minutes of meeting a new man whether or not he will be in "friends" category or if she will sleeep with him. Please cite your sources. We on LS have heard tales of women who didn't initially find some fellow to be match material but, on getting to know him, changed their minds. And this isn't the only source of such stories. It happens all the time. Somewhere is another study saying that a large percentage of marriages happen between people who started out as friends.
Merin Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 I dunno.. My EXH persued me like mad... while I liked him as a person (Friend) I wasn't like OMFG I need that! He wouldn't leave me alone until I agreed to go out with him.. then he wouldn't go away once we had gone out once.. We ended up dating for about 6 months then moved in together.. got married about a year later.. BUT turns out.. LOL I was right about things to begin with.. I divorced him almost 3 years ago now.. except now we aren't friends, I don't like him (who he is) often and every time I see him I wonder WTF I was thinking about? Did he Woo.. yes he did.. did it work out in the end.. nope.
HoldOn Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 many different studies over time have well documented that women make up their mind within 5 to 10 minutes of meeting a new man whether or not he will be in "friends" category or if she will sleeep with him. I really don't think I do that. Now that I think about it.... My current bf, I was "friends" with for 5 years. My crush before that... I didn't become attracted to him for 2 months after getting to know him. I think a guy has to grow on me first.
HotCaliGirl Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 There are always exceptions...during the just-friends period, the woman probably knows in her head if the guy is marriage/boyfriend material or not. According to a study, it's not an eiphany that comes to her in the middle of the night five years down the road, although that certainly sounds more romantic. 5-10 minutes TOPS!... ([color=red]study based on my experience only[/color])
HoldOn Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 during the just-friends period, the woman probably knows in her head if the guy is marriage/boyfriend material or not. Guess that's true. But with my current bf, I really wasn't that attracted to him at first. But regarding the poster's original question: The guy wouldn't be able to tell if the girl was not at all attracted to him, or was just not interested enough to be with him. So how would he know whether to woo or not? Anyway, Alpha makes it sound like every time a girl meets a guy she thinks either "I'd f--k him!" or "I'd never f--k him!" And I just don't think it is like that.
MadDog Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by Nomad People have said the girl makes the choice in wether or not a couple is going to date. Would it be safe to say that a girl knows if she wants to date a guy or not from the moment she meets him? Can anyone truly "win over" a girl? Has anyone ever been initially unappealing to a girl & gradually "worked on" her til you got her? Sounds like you're trying to get with a girl that's disinterested in you at best and repelled by you at worst. Why try to skate uphill? Just find another girl that'll be interested in you, unless of course she's the only girl that lives in your town. In that case, pursue her until you've "won her over" or you go insane trying, whiever comes first.
Author Nomad Posted April 22, 2005 Author Posted April 22, 2005 Well, I appreciate the feedback here, but my question also related to the bar scene. In other words, if a guy approaches you (a girl) can you more or less tell right away if he was a guy you'd ever consider giving your number to? If the guy's initially undesirable, is his "game" really going to win you over, no matter how good it is?
Merin Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 Originally posted by Nomad Well, I appreciate the feedback here, but my question also related to the bar scene. In other words, if a guy approaches you (a girl) can you more or less tell right away if he was a guy you'd ever consider giving your number to? If the guy's initially undesirable, is his "game" really going to win you over, no matter how good it is? In my experience when a Guy approaches me in a club if I'm not attracted to him to begin with, the chances of me giving him my number are slim to none... while having a good "Game" is all fine and well.. If there isn't an attraction especially in that setting to begin with the chances of him even showing me he's got "Game" aren't good... I'm not in any way saying the Guy must be gorgeous.. but IMO and for me.. I need to find something appealing about him...
HoldOn Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 Originally posted by Nomad Well, I appreciate the feedback here, but my question also related to the bar scene. In other words, if a guy approaches you (a girl) can you more or less tell right away if he was a guy you'd ever consider giving your number to? If the guy's initially undesirable, is his "game" really going to win you over, no matter how good it is? Oooooh, i see. We'll for me (when I was single), it was pretty much right away. You have maybe 30 seconds to 1 minute to convince me you're not a scum bag!
gridiron Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 Originally posted by Nomad Well, I appreciate the feedback here, but my question also related to the bar scene. In other words, if a guy approaches you (a girl) can you more or less tell right away if he was a guy you'd ever consider giving your number to? If the guy's initially undesirable, is his "game" really going to win you over, no matter how good it is? At bars and clubs, I've seen many of the most successful guys at getting dates crash and burn. You're not going to turn it around if you start getting one-word answers from a girl and she is looking away frequently. Time to Eject instead of overstaying your visit to get a fake phone#. There are much better venues than bars for guys who don't ooze sex appeal or who don't want to play the numbers game.
WhereSpiritsRoam Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 I think "wooing" (such an odd word) is entirely possible, though it's really just another way of saying you're getting to know someone better. I started out as friends with two of my exes, but they ultimately wanted to date after finding about my personality, etc. That said, I think first impressions are absolutely crticial, and the first 5-10 minutes of meeting someone weighs heavily into how you are perceived by the other person. The point about first impressions being engrained in your memory is a very real thing.
prisoner Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 the word is derived from swoon. it literally is a man trying to make a woman fall in love with him. in business it means to gain support or custom (trade). men literally tried to get women to need to sit down and be tended to. i still say that there is no one way that things happen.
Author Nomad Posted April 25, 2005 Author Posted April 25, 2005 Girls have sometimes said that they've become attracted to me after knowing me for some time (I "grew" on them), but very few girls are initially attracted to me as far as I know. In other words, the rare times I approach girls in a bar, it usally goes nowhere fast. So my best bet is to start out as friends, let girls get to know me. Only problem is, I have VERY few friends, none of them girls. Guess I'm SOL, huh? BTW, as seen from other posts of mine, I've tried online dating to see what happens; that didn't work, either.
Marshbear Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 The friends thing rarely works as women tend to put you in that catagory and you are hell-bent to get out of it. I would suggest that you need to lower your expections of a hot babe and go for maybe the plumper women or the one that is not a 10. She may feel flattred by your attention. The world is full of average people. Find one.....
Zoolio Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 it comes down to this real friendship is honest. if you want something from her that the friendship will not include, and you are in it for unsincere reasons, you are not being a good person to yourself or her
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