JunzQ Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 my relationship ended because of sex. I was dumped and she went back to her ex boyfriend. Now the last time I ever seen her she said she enjoyed everything about me except for the sex. Now this is the first time in my life someone had ever said something like this To me. I've been in relationships that was just constructed through sex. There was no sexual compatibility between us ever. We only daTed for 4 months. there was a lot of things that she did that never got me over excited. 1. I always instigated it. 2. I'm sure she only did things to me that she felt her ex liked. 3. This is big and you might call me shallow for it but her vagina was really loose. Mind you she is 4 foot 10 inches taLl. I've had a lot of sexual partners in my life and this one had to of been the loosest. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough to please her in the ways other guys may have which was one of the main reasons It was so bad as I had all these negative thoughts everytime we would have sex. 4. She never made me feel like I was ever doing anything right and never gave me pointers as to what she liked. I could have broken up with her for sexual reasons the same way she did with me. But I felt there's more to a relationship than just sex. It's hard to find a good person for me, a good girl would have to be one that I connect with in many different ways and one that is loyal. Sex comes after that. But she told me it was the other way around with her. Now I just want to know of anyone else that's ever been in this situation in the past both from male and female points of views. And also how important is sex in a relationship to you? Is it a make or break or is patience better than just giving up on someone for the sole reason of sex.
central Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 For me, if we are not compatible and connect sexually, there will be no relationship. Sex isn't all there is to a relationship, but it is the ONE thing that distinguishes it from, say, a good friendship. If someone isn't at least trying to teach you what works for them, and isn't listening and trying to also meet your sexual needs, then it's highly unlikely to work out in the long term, no matter how good everything else is. 3
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 For me, if we are not compatible and connect sexually, there will be no relationship. Sex isn't all there is to a relationship, but it is the ONE thing that distinguishes it from, say, a good friendship. If someone isn't at least trying to teach you what works for them, and isn't listening and trying to also meet your sexual needs, then it's highly unlikely to work out in the long term, no matter how good everything else is. Bang on. I agree with Central on this point. I think this is more about your ego getting a good bruising then the fact that you lost her. She beat you to the punch and now you're resenting her for it. Consider this to be a blessing in disguise. Now you're free to find someone that is more compatible for you in ALL areas not just sexually. THAT is where the magic is. It's not one OR the other. 1
jen1447 Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 And also how important is sex in a relationship to you? It's Priority 1 for me, fwiw. 1
Author JunzQ Posted May 4, 2015 Author Posted May 4, 2015 So the guy can be a jobless bum. But you'd still date him because the sex was good?
Author JunzQ Posted May 4, 2015 Author Posted May 4, 2015 Well you said it is priority 1. It seems like that's the case for most females. But would you date a guy that's jobless or ugly, just because you have amazing sexual chemistry? Yes I'm asking u
jen1447 Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 Okay. I didn't say sex was the only priority, just the most important one. "Jobless" and "ugly" are pretty cookie-cutter descriptions. I'd have to know much more than that. I wouldn't have sex with someone I didn't find attractive for example, and while joblessness alone wouldn't be a deal-breaker, if it was actually laziness, that might be.
Author JunzQ Posted May 4, 2015 Author Posted May 4, 2015 Hmm interesting insight have you ever been in a relationship that was not to your sexual taste?
Stercrazy Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 Sex is a very intimate form of communication. So if the sex is incompatible then communication has a breakdown. Which it sounds like that happened in this relationship. 1
Author JunzQ Posted May 4, 2015 Author Posted May 4, 2015 Your absolutly right I could feel us drifting apart after a month or 2 and that never helped make sex better it just got worse from that point on til we broke up. I've never been in this situation before so I didn't know how to handle it. But for what ever reason I still miss her. Sex had never been my first priority I've always thought sex is something that can come with time. We never had a build up before the relationship we both sort of just jumped into it without getting to intimate. But then again seems like I was just the rebound anyway so I had to do way better to actually get this relationship rolling. Which never happened after a few bad sexual expirence I just started coasting.
Author JunzQ Posted May 4, 2015 Author Posted May 4, 2015 Bang on. I agree with Central on this point. I think this is more about your ego getting a good bruising then the fact that you lost her. She beat you to the punch and now you're resenting her for it. Consider this to be a blessing in disguise. Now you're free to find someone that is more compatible for you in ALL areas not just sexually. THAT is where the magic is. It's not one OR the other. Well actually I beat her to the punch. She called me a loser for going to the gym and I kind of snapped at her and let it all out. The next day we had the sex talk and the breakup and never seen each other again. I still miss her though and it feels like sex was never number 1 from me I come from saskatchewan the options are very limited and I was very attracted to her just not sexually I guess.
Cali408 Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 It's Priority 1 for me, fwiw. We know....and appreciate it you for it!
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