ylwfvr Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 Greetings and thanks for the wonderful forum. And I apologize in advance if a topic similar to mine has been covered before. I have been dating this girl for about 10 months now. She is 26 and I am 33. Our relationship can be summed up in three words - wild rollercoaster ride. After dating for only 4 months, I had to take a job at another city (about 1 hr plane ride). That nearly put an end to our relationship but as luck would have it, I managed to land an assignment in my old city for the last 5 months. During our relationship I learned alot about her - her potential drinking issues, bad relationships in the past, and even potential bi-polar tendencies in her family. Her behavior was extremely erratic and unpredictable. I was lconstantly nervous to be around her fearing that I might accidently upset up. Furthermore, we had our fair share of bad drunk fights - once so bad that she even punched me in the face but that hasn't happened since.... Before, I bore everyone with this relationship, let me get to my question. The project finally came to an end and I had to leave. I was hoping that we would spend some quality time the weekend before my departure. Instead, she made plans with her friends for the entire weekend. Please bear in mind, I spent nearly every day with her before this weekend. In fact, we saw each other for brief while Saturday afternoon - rest of the time through Monday, she spent time with her so called friends and didn't bother to call me but once. When I had confronted her about this, she said that I annoyed her with constant phone calls. Now, this is where I screwed up - I called her a total of 8 times or more. I was frustrated and disppointed that she simply didn't return my calls - I was worried about her but that was clouded by my suspect for infidelity. Again, this was only after a 24 hour hiatus and I am the first to admit that I have some issues of my own. Sadly, before my departure she was upset and told me that I am suffocating her and that we need to take a break - ah, the infamous death sentence to relationship. It's been only 2 days and I have not spoken or traded emails with her. She only noted that she was very sad that I am leaving "again" and that she needed time to breath. I know she cares and even loves me - however, she has not been the best person for a relationship and admits to this and states that she doens't want anything serious.... Perhaps, my departure had a huge part with this but I did everything in my power to be with her including sending her round trip tickets and signing up to work back at home for 5 months. Do you guys think she is just asking for some space or do you guys think she has already found someone else? She claims that she doesn't want to see other people and that we should just take a little break. My heart tells me to give her time but my brain tells me that I need to start fresh. Thanks for reading...
ConfusedInOC Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 The minute you raise your fist to anyone in anger, respect and trust is lost. I would get out of that relationship because as you described it, the anger and alcohol are just not a good combination. Best of luck. Being in another city might just be a Godsend.
Author ylwfvr Posted April 20, 2005 Author Posted April 20, 2005 ConfusedinOC Thanks for the reply and you certainly echo mine and friends thoughts. I guess I have a soft hear and/or desperate to get back togethe with her. The sad part is both her and I agree we are probably not the most compatible people and yet we are still stringing each other along.... I guess I would like to get a "solid" closure but neither one of us are taking that approach which makes this worse. The new city is indeed a blessing but a mixed one. I hard know anyone now here and feeling quite lonely without her and my other friends in the other city...
ConfusedInOC Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 Originally posted by ylwfvr ConfusedinOC Thanks for the reply and you certainly echo mine and friends thoughts. I guess I have a soft hear and/or desperate to get back togethe with her. The sad part is both her and I agree we are probably not the most compatible people and yet we are still stringing each other along.... I guess I would like to get a "solid" closure but neither one of us are taking that approach which makes this worse. The new city is indeed a blessing but a mixed one. I hard know anyone now here and feeling quite lonely without her and my other friends in the other city... I think the minute she punched you would have been all the closure you need. IMHO, relationships are about love and respect from both sides. The minute either is lost, it's time to move on.
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