only_thoughts Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 I met my ex-girlfriend in Australia whilst we were both travelling around December 2013 and we hit it off straight away because we had so much in common and it was amazing to begin with and it felt like we weremeant to be, but things started going wrong when we moved in with each other after 3 months because the situation was completely different to a normal relationship in a sense that we missed all the dating because we had sex witheach other nearly straight away from meeting (red flag) and as we were both alone and from the UK we saw it made sense to get an apartment in Australia and things got far too comfortable. Anyway, after a few weeks living there she dropped a bomb shell saying she missed home and wanted to go back but she suffers from depression and anxiety and also makes crazy decisions without thinking things through because she’s very impulsive. Anyway, I went to work the next day and got a phone call with her crying her eyes out saying she can’t leave the houseand she was really depressed. I came back from work and she told me she’s booked her flight back to the UK leaving me stranded with an apartment (redflag). She therefore flew back home a few days later and pestered me for a few weeks to come back so eventually I gave in and flew home. I have a condition that before I we moved to Perth was completely under control, but as soon as we moved in it flared up with stresses she was putting on me, but I thought it would pass however it never and throughout our relationship it got worse and worse. So when we decided to get anew place back in the UK I was a bit reluctant after being left in Perth andalso with my health and the affordability of living somewhere knowing I was unwell and being able to afford the bills, at first she understood then her family started getting involved at the end calling me lazy and I should be working instead of asking how I was they were quick to criticise me. She told me about her past and having loads of one nightstands and how she just left her ex-finance and went back home were huge redflags but me being me I over looked this because you do at first and I was completely fooled but not sure why because we had a one night stand which ledto us getting together. She rarely complimented me and we’d often argue over small things which led to bigger arguments because she holds everything in until she goes crazy and puts a wall up against her. It was a struggle for her to show me any affection like holding hands, kissing, cuddling etc which hurt me a bit. She was always on her phone on facebook or whattsapp etc and I never asked who she was talking to but I guessed in myself it was to some guybecause she was on all the dating apps before she went travelling and also she was seeing somebody before she went travelling but I never knew what happened because he just finished with her out of the blue and I didn’t want to approach it. If you met her she was so introverted and hated meeting new people, but as soon as she gets alcohol inside her she is completely differentand that’s why she has all these one night stands which I don’t know why somebody goes from not wanting to talk to people to drinking and having onenight stands. I took a risk with the relationship knowing she put out on the first night I look back now and I should have taken it for what it was and walkedaway, but here’s the thing we met virtually on a forum group going to Australia 3 months prior and we chatted for ages so I thought she was completely differentbut when I got to Australia and she told me about the one night stands I was abit put off but carried on anyway because I like to give people the chance however I don’t go for these kind of girls normally because I like to get toknow somebody and date them properly. Anyway, valentines day 2015 she tells me in a card she’ll never stop loving me and then two weeks later she dumps me saying she doesn’twant to look after me and that I’ve been ill throughout our time together. She asked was she a bad person and I didn’t know what to say... I moved back to the other side of the UK and had to start building my life again, I gave up my dream of travelling to be with her and shejust left me without a thought and she went back home like she did to her ex fiancé. Looking back there were so many red flags, but a couple of weeks after we brokeup she went out with a work colleague who she told me she doesn’t like her work colleagues and has a one night stand with a random and tells me about it whichleft me devastated. Why would she rub it in my face? Oh I forgot to say I moved to be with her so she was closer to her family and we had my deposit in the flat there so we had to stay in touch because she said she would clean the flat and she insisting I go home. I was devastated because I gave up my dream and ambitions to be with her and shegave up on me without a thought in the world. After I got my deposit back I went no contact for a monthand I made a huge mistake today by messaging her and breaking no contact saying I hope you have a nice holiday because I was meant to be going on it. I was doing really well and still am but why did I break no contact today to wish hera good time? Because I said to myself I bet she either doesn’t reply or just says thanks and she replied thanks! I’m so stupid… I was doing awesome andthings were starting to turn for me… I got a long with her family so well but then they turned onme, but since being back at home for nearly two months i’m back to beinghealthy again and have had no flares and I think it was the stress of livingwith her because she was so demanding… She never cleaned the flat, she was veryun-hygienic and never took pride in her self. I didn’t bring this up because it wasn’t fair on her because it would knock her confidence but seriously I did everything for her and I was so kind and caring that I stood by her when shewas seriously unwell due to the depression and she just gave up on me. What makes it worse when she broke it off with me she said she’s never felt happier and that shehas come down to one anti-depressant tablet every 3 days which is huge seeingthough she was taking loads when we were away and she said I helped her but atthe same time I feel used because she got to a good place with me and now she’s better she has ditched me… Something I didn’t say, I have savings and something inside me didn’t want to give her any of the money because it didn’t feel right so I toldher I never had any money because at the time she was owing about £15000 inloans and credit cards and she wanted me to cover the debt by means of metaking out credit to cover her debt and she said she would pay me back but nowshe owes about £12000. I was ill and unable to work and she moaned at me for herhaving to get a second job… on not working I was always having doubts whetherto leave and get better back here at home. This is also another red flag she wanted kids and getmarried to me and I said I can’t at the moment due to her financial problems and me being unwell, but I was going to propose to her in New York at Christmas just gone and buy a £3000 ring, but when we got to New York I said I’d like to take her somewhere special and she said you’re not going to propose are you andstarted laughing at me so I said I was but I’m not anymore, anyway they say everything happens for areason hey? But it was upsetting because I even asked her dad :-/ There were so many red flags and I know in myself she ishaving more one night stands, I don’t know why I know but I feel it. I’ve come off all social media and I don’t know what she is doing one day to another but I know when she finished this holiday on Sunday I won’t know what she is doing and I think I broke no contact because I knew she was going away I know it’s none of my business but I worry that she’ll getinto trouble by getting drunk and having one night stands… She’s just adifferent person when she drinks because she gets completely wasted. When wewere together she said she doesn’t like going out anymore but now she’s out allthe time lol she only got wasted at her parents and we argued because she wouldget aggressive and shout at me and her family but I put that down to drinkingand taking medication :-/ It happened loads of times though more so at the endof the relationship… Sorry about the long read but I hope you can give me great advice
Ruby65 Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 She doesn't sound very stable. What specifically did you want advice about?
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