fitnessfan365 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 How do you know when the pics were taken though? Just because she posted recently doesn't mean they were taken at the same time. They could be pics from a week ago she just decided to post. If anything, being at home sick would give her free time to do that sort of thing. Just food for thought.
Author hunk Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 Fair point, that could be the case. For some reason though I just have this weird intuition something's going on , like she's just not totally into it. That's what is keeping me from calling her and is making me edgy and unsure of what to do. Obviously I've heard nothing from her, nearly 4 days now, surely this isn't normal if you're into someone
jen1447 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Intuition usually wins. If you want to, you can find possible explanations for almost anything under the sun and drive yourself nuts with doubt because of them, but you already know. So don't do that. (You can also give her plenty of ammo to string you along if she wants, forex "hey baby, I saw those pics on your instagram, they were probably old pics that you had time to put up since you've been sick, right?" [her] "Um yeah, that was it. I'm so into you baby, yawn," etc., etc.) 1
katiegrl Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) Fair point, that could be the case. For some reason though I just have this weird intuition something's going on , like she's just not totally into it. That's what is keeping me from calling her and is making me edgy and unsure of what to do. Obviously I've heard nothing from her, nearly 4 days now, surely this isn't normal if you're into someone Yeah but what you think is *intuition* could also be just insecurity due to uncertainty. Did it ever occur to you that SHE may be thinking YOU are not that interested? I mean, when she offered to reschedule for next week (now this week), you admitted you blew it off as you *assumed* she was just flaking.....how do you think that made HER feel? Assuming she really wasn't feeling well. IMO, you have nothing to lose by calling her (or texting her), one more time and asking her out again. What have you got to lose? Okay, if she blows you off again, then you've got a bruised ego. So what, you'll get over it. BUT, what if she says yes? Then you've got another date with a chick you really dig! Edited May 5, 2015 by katiegrl 1
Gary S Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Listening to you intuition is the number one thing in dating. I agree, the new selfies are most likely current. She' just blowing him off. Hey, if we are wrong, she can always call him.
katiegrl Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) Listening to you intuition is the number one thing in dating. I agree, the new selfies are most likely current. She' just blowing him off. Hey, if we are wrong,** she can always call him.** Not if she doesn't think he is interested. Remember, when she offered to reschedule for this week, HE blew THAT off! Bottom line is, is he gonna be that passive guy crying in his beer cuz some chick hasn't called him? Or the confident, secure guy who goes after what and who he wants? Not talking about chasing, just sending her a damn text, geez. Edited May 5, 2015 by katiegrl 1
Author hunk Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 This is my current reasoning - She cancelled on me, she should be the one to be contacting me if she's interested. Even if she was really sick, which I'm admittedly doubting, she should still be the one to get back to me when she's feeling better. In my mind it makes no sense to be the one "checking up on her", especially after only 2 dates. It doesn't feel right or natural to me to behave that way at this stage. She suggested Wednesday this week when she cancelled, which is tomorrow. I told her to just let me know when she feels better because I didn't feel like just accepting a date then and there after she blew me off and coming off as though i'm free 24/7. Surely if she is interested she would think "yeah he asked me out, I canceled, i need to let him know i'm feeling better and would like to see him". I doubt me ignoring her offer for tomorrow would deter her if she was into me, because i told her to tell me when she felt better, putting the ball in her court. THAT is my intuition, and me messaging her asking if she's feeling better in my mind comes off weak and needy and feels unnatural to me. I've been on 2 dates with this girl, i barely know her, in reality I shouldn't give a ***** if she's sick and definitely shouldn't be checking up on her - she's a grown woman and is well enough to be posting healthy looking selfies of herself online. So i'm going to leave it. If anything eventuates i'll update here
katiegrl Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 This is my current reasoning - She cancelled on me, she should be the one to be contacting me if she's interested. Even if she was really sick, which I'm admittedly doubting, she should still be the one to get back to me when she's feeling better. In my mind it makes no sense to be the one "checking up on her", especially after only 2 dates. It doesn't feel right or natural to me to behave that way at this stage. She suggested Wednesday this week when she cancelled, which is tomorrow. I told her to just let me know when she feels better because I didn't feel like just accepting a date then and there after she blew me off and coming off as though i'm free 24/7. Surely if she is interested she would think "yeah he asked me out, I canceled, i need to let him know i'm feeling better and would like to see him". I doubt me ignoring her offer for tomorrow would deter her if she was into me, because i told her to tell me when she felt better, putting the ball in her court. THAT is my intuition, and me messaging her asking if she's feeling better in my mind comes off weak and needy and feels unnatural to me. I've been on 2 dates with this girl, i barely know her, in reality I shouldn't give a ***** if she's sick and definitely shouldn't be checking up on her - she's a grown woman and is well enough to be posting healthy looking selfies of herself online. So i'm going to leave it. If anything eventuates i'll update here Okay fair enough Hunk. My take is you are probably not all that into her either, so you are right, just let it go... Next. 1
Author hunk Posted May 6, 2015 Author Posted May 6, 2015 Ok guys always trust your gut, ALWAYS! I messaged her nearly 3 hours ago. Just asked if she was still alive and if she wanted to come out tonight. No response, radio silence. Before anyone tells me to "just wait!" - no woman goes 3 hours without looking at their phone. This has really messed with me, i've never been rejected (sounds ridiculous) but I've literally never had this happen to me, especially since everything seemed great and i'm pretty good at reading situations/when people are into me. Not too sure how to handle it. Mixture of feelings including offense she hasn't even given me some kind of response and confusion and disappointment.
jen1447 Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 People (women moreso than men) do the hot/cold thing all the time, and sometimes even on purpose, just to mess with your head and see how you react. They also appear to be something they're not quite often, especially when you don't really know them. Traits like integrity might only exist on the surface for them (which is sad in a way - mainly for them), and much of what you see as their personality on the first few dates can be not much more than an act or even outright lies. It's not a big deal in the big picture. People are people. Shrug it off and hang onto the lesson. 1
Author hunk Posted May 6, 2015 Author Posted May 6, 2015 Thanks jen. I know what you mean. I feel like she actually has done this on purpose. She said some weird stuff when we were on our dates, she seems extremely insecure and at times would actually try and convince me she was attractive etc. She'd talk about how "if she wanted to get laid she could just go to a bar and wear a low cut top" or that "she has no trouble finding men to sleep with but that's not what she wants". She said all this in a way that was almost like she was seeking some kind of weird approval from me. It's sad to think her personality was an act, but I can definitely see how this is a real possibility. Considering the dynamic we seemed to have had i'm just really confused as to why she didn't reply. I played this as cool as possible, unless some small thing has just put her off completely. Really, really weird .. I would never go on 2 dates with someone, make out with them and then ignore contact and give them zero reason for doing so.
katiegrl Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 Ok guys always trust your gut, ALWAYS! I messaged her nearly 3 hours ago. Just asked if she was still alive and if she wanted to come out tonight. No response, radio silence. Before anyone tells me to "just wait!" - no woman goes 3 hours without looking at their phone. This has really messed with me, i've never been rejected (sounds ridiculous) but I've literally never had this happen to me, especially since everything seemed great and i'm pretty good at reading situations/when people are into me. Not too sure how to handle it. Mixture of feelings including offense she hasn't even given me some kind of response and confusion and disappointment. Why "did" you message her? I mean, given your last few posts, your gut was screaming not to, you just didn't have a good feeling about it. I even agreed with you at the end. But yet you ignored your gut and went for it anyway. The good news is at least now you know FOR SURE she's a flake. Bad news is you've got a bruised ego. Life goes on....
elaine567 Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 she seems extremely insecure and at times would actually try and convince me she was attractive etc. She'd talk about how "if she wanted to get laid she could just go to a bar and wear a low cut top" or that "she has no trouble finding men to sleep with but that's not what she wants". She said all this in a way that was almost like she was seeking some kind of weird approval from me. People who are secure and who have no trouble finding men/women tend to just get on with it, they don't brag to others as to how attractive they are, THEY JUST KNOW. 2
darkbloom Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 I think rejection is a good thing for you hunk. It will help keep your ego in check.
Author hunk Posted May 6, 2015 Author Posted May 6, 2015 Yeah you're all right, ultimately I needed this. It's humbling and makes me realize not every person I get along with is going to be on the same page as me. Thanks guys you've kept me sane as usual. Katie i messaged her because I was sick of wondering and letting it affect me, I knew messaging her would do the job - it'd put my uncertainty to rest. Ultimately it's bruised my ego but I finally have an answer, despite it being extremely confusing for me. My ego will recover and I needed that damage. Not my best year for dating/relationships thus far but **** we all go through it don't we:o
Eighty_nine Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 Why "did" you message her? I mean, given your last few posts, your gut was screaming not to, you just didn't have a good feeling about it. I even agreed with you at the end. But yet you ignored your gut and went for it anyway. The good news is at least now you know FOR SURE she's a flake. Bad news is you've got a bruised ego. Life goes on.... I feel like messaging her was clearly the right thing to do. But people are so against it, so often... what's more important, protecting ones ego or learning the truth of the situation and moving on? I wonder if she's dating someone else who is her priority. It could be that and not that she wasn't into you.
katiegrl Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 **I feel like messaging her was clearly the right thing to do.** But people are so against it, so often... what's more important, protecting ones ego or learning the truth of the situation and moving on? I wonder if she's dating someone else who is her priority. It could be that and not that she wasn't into you. Oh I do too!! I was just surprised he did, tis all. He took a risk (+1), and NOW he knows for sure, no more wondering or uncertainty..it's ALL good. By the way Hunk, did the *uncertainty * increase your attraction to her? I only ask because of what you said in another thread about uncertainty increasing attraction...to which I disagreed. Just curious....
jen1447 Posted May 6, 2015 Posted May 6, 2015 I wonder if she's dating someone else who is her priority. It could be that and not that she wasn't into you. That's a distinct possibility, yeah. It could be that hunk was never more than a temporary distraction, or maybe she just got onto someone else since your dates. Considering the dynamic we seemed to have had i'm just really confused as to why she didn't reply. I played this as cool as possible, unless some small thing has just put her off completely. Really, really weird .. I would never go on 2 dates with someone, make out with them and then ignore contact and give them zero reason for doing so. Unfortunately some people just consider others to be disposable.
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