Do you stay friends with any of your exes?

[Sunspot1995]

Do you stay friends with any of your exes after the breakup? Why or why not? How long after the breakup were you in no contact before establishing a friendship?

 

I suspect in most cases exes cannot be friends because one or both exes still have feelings and so it would be hard to carry out a normal friendship and hearing about the new boyfriend or new girlfriend. One of the exes might agree to remain friends but secretly holds out hope of getting back together which is just setting them up for more hurt.

 

So if exes are going to be friends what do you think are some good ground rules to establish?

[SLee]

From what I've seen the friend thing only works if it's a mutual break up and/or both parties have completely moved on, which often can take a very long time if possible.

[Ruby65]

Usually the one who ended the relationship is hoping to remain friends. This helps them feel less guilty for the pain they caused and also less lonely while they look for their next boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

Many times the person who's been broken up with will go along with this in hopes it might lead to a reconciliation someday.

 

So, on both sides, it's not really a true "friendship" as one person is wanting more and the other is just using them as a placeholder until their next relationship.

 

It's just not a good idea for the dumpee to try and stay friends. It slows down your healing, keeps false hopes alive.... and once you or your ex get a new relationship, the friendship is likely to cause conflict with your new partners.

 

Good ground rules to establish with an ex? Goodbye and have a nice life.

[Moley87]

Great post , here's my situation and you tell me if friends work lol after a breakup

 

Ex leaves to move to oz in December so decides to call it a day on the basis lTR isn't likely and Good chance she will emigrate

 

As a result it's now been 2months BU one month of NC but I gave in and initiated contact

 

Since we have slowly re added each on Facebook and have had a few conversation since however she wants the friendship I personally want to fill a gap she caused.

 

I would say she is happy to have me back talking but honestly all it does is cause me pain but pain I'm learning to handle

 

Only reason I'm doing it is out of respect for her being honest and not leaving me out to dry and I will see if I can make a friendship out of it

 

Likelihood will be we won't and it will come a time when we cut contact for good so I don't think it can be done but unless allow yourself to try then don't rule it out but its harder then no contact for sure

 

Feelings are all brought up and does nothing to move you forward