IceIceBaby Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 I have recently broken up with my boyfriend of one year. I thought NC was the right thing to do. He didn't like the idea and wanted us to be able to be in contact if neccesary. I agreed, but told him a few days later that it wasn't going to work. I wasn't going to move on if we were speaking. So I blocked him on AIM and told myself I wouldn't contact him. And it is hard! I find myself wanting to unblock him and see his away message...it's awful! How do you stop yourself from contacting your ex? What do you tell yourself? I think of the bad, but I still always manage to think of the good. I know it will be easier with time, but any advice would be greatly appreciated!
alphamale Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 what exactly to you not understand in the words "NO" and "CONTACT"?? put the two words together and it is self explanatory...
laRubiaBonita Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 Telling myself: that i am way to good to talk with him. That I like difficult things...i like it "rough". that i am strong thus far. and Movies, bud and alcohol!
Merin Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 Originally posted by IceIceBaby I have recently broken up with my boyfriend of one year. I thought NC was the right thing to do. He didn't like the idea and wanted us to be able to be in contact if neccesary. I agreed, but told him a few days later that it wasn't going to work. I wasn't going to move on if we were speaking. So I blocked him on AIM and told myself I wouldn't contact him. And it is hard! I find myself wanting to unblock him and see his away message...it's awful! How do you stop yourself from contacting your ex? What do you tell yourself? I think of the bad, but I still always manage to think of the good. I know it will be easier with time, but any advice would be greatly appreciated! Don't log on to AIM IF you really have nobody else you talk with on a regular basis (except for him) In fact.. get out of the house when you can instead of chillin on your computer... take your mind off what his away message may or may not be... besides staying on the computer when you could be out doing other things isn't as much fun unless of course you're at work and getting paid to be a slacker.. like me LOL! When you get of the house to do things... if you don't really really have to, then leave your cell phone at home... can't be tempted to call if you don't have a phone right?! Instead of thinking of the *Good* keep in mind if the good was so good and the bad wasn't to much you'd still be with him.... And of course... TIME.... Good Luck
Author IceIceBaby Posted April 20, 2005 Author Posted April 20, 2005 I understand how no contact works Alpha. You and I both know what I was asking. Thanks everyone, sometimes hearing the reassurance is helpful!
whichwayisup Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 what exactly to you not understand in the words "NO" and "CONTACT"?? put the two words together and it is self explanatory... Smartass! I understand how no contact works Alpha. You and I both know what I was asking. He's a smartass!
greenhorn Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 First thing No Contact is not that anyone wants to do, but there are circumstances that make us do that.So think it that way, there was something wrong so you have to do this and there was no other alternative. Being in contact hurts in those situation so no contact is necessary. It is so enticing to be in touch but that will be more painful then your pain now, so no contact is necessary. Say these lines to yourself and it will help you in doing NC. Good Luck to you, keep posting if you still find difficult to do NC.
whichwayisup Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 Ice...Check out no foolin's thread here.... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/ Think this could help you.
Gottabestrong Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 I tell myself that unless he wants to get back together, contact is just going to prolong my healing. And as he broke it off, he will have to get in touch with me, not vice versa. I also put all my faith in time and hope that one day I just HAVE to feel better if I have not had contact with him for a long time. It is very hard though and 7 months in I am still struggling with it.
Author IceIceBaby Posted April 20, 2005 Author Posted April 20, 2005 Awesome post there! Gave me alot to think about. It's just hard because I ended it...he eventually agreed it was the right thing to do. But it's weird when you end things yourself and then it's still pretty hard. Originally posted by whichwayisup Ice...Check out no foolin's thread here.... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/ Think this could help you.
HoldOn Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 Just take it one minute at a time. And try to fill up those minutes with stuff that takes your mind off it.
angelj Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 NC completely sucks.... i did it for a successful 2 weeks because i was enraged by a guy i had been dating but couldnt get over his ex. so just cut me out of the picture because he doesnt know what he wants...after telling me we are inevitable and he wa falling in love with me BLAH BLAH BLAH...(then telling someone im getting on his nerves while i was on the PHONE with the girl so i heard it all..tried to call him out on it and he didnt fess up or deny just ignored the topic) ANYWAY - it blows. i did it for 2 weeks then invited him to my bday party because i felt like i was over it and we could be friends. (and i really wanted him to go of course) that didnt work so well. it did for a week...he was carefully treading on ice when he would talk to me and actually started making attempts to call. he was shocked i did call and he was oh so sweet. when he WOULD call he would start up the flirting again and the joking and the comments and the, "oh remember when we watched this movie togehter this nite.." then never showed up at my party. a very good friend of mine (who is friends w him too) called him 3 days after my party on my actual bday to talk about a ocmpletely different topic when he said, "hey are you coming down this weekend for the party? i cant wait!" to which my friend said, "are you kidding me it was last weekend!" he played the oh my god i had no idea i thought it was the 23rd and not the 16th im so stupid i cant call her shes gonna be so upset but thank you SO much for telling me i will give her a call im so stupid shes gonna hate me card and didnt even call to wish me a happy bday on my actual bday. (or apologize for being a DUMBASS) and to think...im still sitting here like well maybe he really DID forget. (he is a moron when it comes to dates and remembering things so i cant put that past him...) but if i DID matter, he would have thought of it. AND I STILL WANT TO CALL HIM!! WHYYYYYYYYYYY?! NC sucks, good luck woman. i put him in my cellphone as "dont do it" it kinda helps...
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