Swan89 Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 Going back about 4/5 months ago, I went on a date with a local girl who works near me. She approached me at a bar in town, and we met up a few times (3 times to be exact). Now this girl had literally just come out of a 5 year relationship because her boyfriend was going to move to his home town. I told her honestly from the start that I was only single 6 months and that I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but I was happy to have a casual, commitment-free friends with benefits arrangement, to which she agreed. After a couple of times of meeting, we went to bed. She told me “I reeeeeally like you!” and said that she’s a really loyal and loving girlfriend. I continued to tell her that I had absolutely no intention of getting into a relationship. Later that week, I was on a night out with friends and she was in a family house party, where her estranged fiance was also there. Next thing I know, she tried all night to call me and wanted to talk, to which I declined because I was in a club with my friends trying to enjoy myself. I said I was busy and she kept trying to contact me as well as over text. She began saying things like "tell me if you pull someone else, I’ll never be second best.” So not only was I freaked out by her extrodinarily needy behaviour, but I was extremely annoyed. I eventually gave in around 4 in the morning and answered her call, we talked and I told her I was annoyed. She drunkenly broke down crying. She came over later that week, and as I tried to let it go, I just couldn’t help but feel repulsed by her. I basically told her that I’d lost all interest and was no longer feeling it. After 5 minutes of her arriving, she gracefully exited as I called her a taxi home. Now I admit that a few weeks later, I got drunk and I was feeling horny, so I texted her suggesting we meet up providing we didn’t text everyday like a couple would. Bad move. I apologised to her the next day that It was just a fleeting drunken whim. Considering this girl is quite hot and sought after, I’m surprised how little interest I now have in her, I just don’t see her as valuable… just needy and cheap, as nasty as that sounds, I can’t help feeling that way. This girl, or should I say ‘woman’ is nearly 30, and I’m 25. She has very low self esteem and a child-like aura of a 15 year old schoolgirl and I find it really off putting. Before I get slated by anyone on here, I would like to point out that- 1) I understand that she was fragile because of her relationship ending, and 2) I screwed up and led her on, for which I am sorry. I messed her about because on one hand, I wanted sex but on the other, I knew It was a bad idea. Being a young male, sometimes Its hard not to think with your manhood. I tried to move past it, but I couldn’t. I ended up blocking her out of my life and ignoring her like a coward to try and hide from the problem... I think that tipped her over the edge. I’ve checked out her profile a few times over the months and even to this day, she’d uploading quote images from the internet, and they’re quite obviously directed at me and her hurt feelings about how she’s been rejected. I see her hanging out with another guy now and It doesn’t phase me in the slightest. When they walk by, she looks at me and we say hello and smile- I just do it to be friendly after hurting her, because I feel a little bad about it. Its almost like she’s rebounding from it and I pitty them when I see them together. The bottom line is, we only had a 5 minute fling and Its been a couple of months no contact, how is she still so obsessed with it all? especially that it was so short lived. Its not my fault that I've lost interest!
Natalie8 Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 Well, you were honest with her to start with so thats good ( unless you are just telling yourself that you made it clear and in reality you hinted at things that led to her believing it could be more? If not, then great.) However..after the whole nightclub texting and you getting turned off thing happened it was obvious she was hurt. Right? So you texting her weeks later and basically -without using these words- made it clear to her that you only see her as something to empty youtlr load into was not a fair move. So for that, you are the bad guy. However, now its done, make sure you dont drunkenly text her again, ever! As for her putting quotes about rejection on fb months later the line suggests she is still dealing with it. She was probably already sensitive about her previous breakup to start with. The hurt we feel about being rejected is not proportionate to the time we were seeing that person. Why do you check her account? Does seeing her rejection quates gives you an ego boost? Its not about you, its about feeling she is dealing with. You dont know this girl well you dont know if rejection is a general theme in her life or what else is there under the surface. All i can say its not all about you ( i suspect) and well, next time be more respectful 1
Redhead14 Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 Going back about 4/5 months ago, I went on a date with a local girl who works near me. She approached me at a bar in town, and we met up a few times (3 times to be exact). Now this girl had literally just come out of a 5 year relationship because her boyfriend was going to move to his home town. I told her honestly from the start that I was only single 6 months and that I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but I was happy to have a casual, commitment-free friends with benefits arrangement, to which she agreed. After a couple of times of meeting, we went to bed. She told me “I reeeeeally like you!” and said that she’s a really loyal and loving girlfriend. I continued to tell her that I had absolutely no intention of getting into a relationship. Later that week, I was on a night out with friends and she was in a family house party, where her estranged fiance was also there. Next thing I know, she tried all night to call me and wanted to talk, to which I declined because I was in a club with my friends trying to enjoy myself. I said I was busy and she kept trying to contact me as well as over text. She began saying things like "tell me if you pull someone else, I’ll never be second best.” So not only was I freaked out by her extrodinarily needy behaviour, but I was extremely annoyed. I eventually gave in around 4 in the morning and answered her call, we talked and I told her I was annoyed. She drunkenly broke down crying. She came over later that week, and as I tried to let it go, I just couldn’t help but feel repulsed by her. I basically told her that I’d lost all interest and was no longer feeling it. After 5 minutes of her arriving, she gracefully exited as I called her a taxi home. Now I admit that a few weeks later, I got drunk and I was feeling horny, so I texted her suggesting we meet up providing we didn’t text everyday like a couple would. Bad move. I apologised to her the next day that It was just a fleeting drunken whim. Considering this girl is quite hot and sought after, I’m surprised how little interest I now have in her, I just don’t see her as valuable… just needy and cheap, as nasty as that sounds, I can’t help feeling that way. This girl, or should I say ‘woman’ is nearly 30, and I’m 25. She has very low self esteem and a child-like aura of a 15 year old schoolgirl and I find it really off putting. Before I get slated by anyone on here, I would like to point out that- 1) I understand that she was fragile because of her relationship ending, and 2) I screwed up and led her on, for which I am sorry. I messed her about because on one hand, I wanted sex but on the other, I knew It was a bad idea. Being a young male, sometimes Its hard not to think with your manhood. I tried to move past it, but I couldn’t. I ended up blocking her out of my life and ignoring her like a coward to try and hide from the problem... I think that tipped her over the edge. I’ve checked out her profile a few times over the months and even to this day, she’d uploading quote images from the internet, and they’re quite obviously directed at me and her hurt feelings about how she’s been rejected. I see her hanging out with another guy now and It doesn’t phase me in the slightest. When they walk by, she looks at me and we say hello and smile- I just do it to be friendly after hurting her, because I feel a little bad about it. Its almost like she’s rebounding from it and I pitty them when I see them together. The bottom line is, we only had a 5 minute fling and Its been a couple of months no contact, how is she still so obsessed with it all? especially that it was so short lived. Its not my fault that I've lost interest! Well, I could bash you, but in the end, you were upfront with her from the start. She chose to be in denial about it and continued to see you and invest herself in a "relationship" that didn't and never would exist. This is her problem alone as far as I am concerned. Men don't use women, women allow themselves to be used . . .
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