Blackout23 Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 So I haven't spoken to my ex for about 1 month... I miss her a lot and she hasn't been online for awhile i see her on for a sec and then off she goes... so today I saw her on and stayed for a bit and I just had to IM her and we chatted a bit.... most of the time the convo was just basicly how is everything how is the family etc. ... just a little update about each other lives... I don't know if it was a mistake to IM her or whatever... but damn I sort of regret doing that now... so for all of you thinking about msging your ex... think twice on actually do you really wanna kno whats going on... cause most of the time I think you wouldn't want to know... something she said to me certainly made me not want to know... She prolly moved on now... and me well im still stuck here waiting for my baby to come home yea, sorta sucks it pushed me back into the 'sad' i miss her even more mode... This is prolly a little bit of rant and not much advice... but just something I thought I'd share.. thanks for reading guys...
alphamale Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 i am about to go into month 5 of total NC with my EX. she emailed me twice and i did not respond. ha ahahah ahaha aha ah ah ah ha. i'm so glad I didn't. and the best thing is a few wks ago i was on a date with this new chick and ran into one of my ex's friends at a bar who will most certainly tell the ex what she saw. ha ah aha a h haa ah aah. i love NC. when executed properly it is a joyous and powerful tool. unfortuanely, most people don't have the emotional strength to execute it properly.
whichwayisup Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 yea, sorta sucks it pushed me back into the 'sad' i miss her even more mode... That is why you gotta stick with NC. It brought back old feelings and emotions...Made you stop and think. Thinking is dangerous!!! Hang in there and try to keep yourself busy. And have fun with your buddies. The other thing you can do is change your IM indentity so you don't keep seeing her online.
Author Blackout23 Posted April 20, 2005 Author Posted April 20, 2005 yea but if you want to maybe get back with her... do you think this is the best possible route to take?
blind_otter Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale i love NC. when executed properly it is a joyous and powerful tool. unfortuanely, most people don't have the emotional strength to execute it properly. Word. Last time I saw my ex was January. Am I sad? Nope. GLAD GLAD GLAD. The longer you go NC the better you feel. I consider stopping NC to be like "Falling off the wagon" - - makes you an addict all over again and you have to start over from day 1!!!
alphamale Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter The longer you go NC the better you feel. I consider stopping NC to be like "Falling off the wagon" - - makes you an addict all over again and you have to start over from day 1!!! Word!
simon_uk Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 I have been NC for two and a half weeks! It is the exs birthday tmrw, the day I planned to give her an engagemnet ring! Should I text her and say if you would have been patient you would have got what you desired today! Or just not bother?
ConfusedInOC Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 Originally posted by simon_uk I have been NC for two and a half weeks! It is the exs birthday tmrw, the day I planned to give her an engagemnet ring! Should I text her and say if you would have been patient you would have got what you desired today! Or just not bother? NO!!!! Don't do that. I'm contemplating giving my ex her BD present but even now and thinking twice about. Even if she wants to say friends, I'll follow NC as much as possible. She can't miss you if you never go away for a good length of time.
Fallen_Angel Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC She can't miss you if you never go away for a good length of time. Agreed. I hate that NC is something of a game. Yes, it's a necessary tool for getting over someone, but be honest...aren't you secretly wondering which party will break the silence first?! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. Well, it's been 9 whole days for me. I had to go cold turkey after talking to him online and hearing him talk like we were two casual acquaintances. Hello, I've seen you naked! No need to keep up the pretenses, right?!?! NC is agony...but the agony of talking/messaging/whatever method of communication is so much worse. But ranting is good. You have to let it out.
head/heels Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 well, i havent been on in a long time....got better...... now dreaming of her for some reason....and it hurts all over again...havent made Contact since coupla days b4 thanksgiving.....not gonna contact her but am hurting....i am sooo much out of her league, but damn....i miss her! ugh.....just letting ere one know...NC will work..just have to go thru the ruff times... ok, thanks d
begman Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 NC rules. There will be rough spots and you will have dreams about your ex(I had one last night and it has been over two months)but every day gets better. You just have to keep thinking that. If you feel you want to contact your ex go work out, or do whatever your favorite thing to do is to get that thought out of your mind. I sent her a b-day card the other week and then she called me. Stupid me, at least I didn't call her back. Ha, ha, ha, the power of NC. NC puts the power back in your hands and not theirs. Stay the course brothers and sisters. We are all in this together. At least we have each other in this forum.
blind_otter Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 I still have nightmares about my ex where he is trying to kill me and chasing me. But other than that. I don't think about him. And no, I don't wonder who will break the silence first. I hope it never GETS broken.
blackendangel13 Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 NC is a very hard process, but in the end only good things will come of it. Think about it this way. Needing your ex is sort of an addiction. You NEED to talk to them, to show them you've changed, etc. Do you really want to be that dependent upon another person? I used to be there and it sickens me now to think that I loved someone that much that I literally thought I could not live without them. Never again will I be that hung up on someone. That person will definately not be the one who carries me through the hard times either. You have to learn to carry yourself. If you are tempted to message or email them, simply done, erase their name from your buddy list or email. Then you do not see them online. You may still wonder for awhile if they are online and possibly view their profile once in awhile to check, but at least you are not torturing yourself by seeing their screen name at all times.
aarsky Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 You people are actually right. Ive been contacting my ex on a regular basis and its not allowing me to move on in the true sense of the word. Ive been reading these threads thinking that it's all a bunch of bull. But you know, lately I've discovered it only leads to hurt and more pain. So from now on, Im looking after me and my children. Because in the end that's all my ex is doing and the fact that shes pregnant with someone else's child makes me think I'm even more of a fool for sticking it out. I thank you for opening my eyes and seeing that I am the most important in my life. And it's true what people say on here, the ex is an ex for a reason so why try to change it.
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