Maisu Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 (edited) So, Im 23 and she s 20 . We ve been dating for 2 years.We are working in the same company. We broke up once and she dated someone and comeback to me again. Now, when we get back together. Everything is good. I though this time we will last. I ended up proposing to her. 3 months later after we get back together. So we are engage for 1 month now. She was happy that finally we are engage. But 1 month later after that her attitude change and seems she lost interest doesnt show me affection.and spend less time with me , I dont even know why we are engage, She doesnt act like it. I did everything. Show affection anything even she wont. I even try acting cold to her so she could show me affection. but nothing work .I cried so manytimes in front of her saying you are changing. And why you wont show me affection. Instead she will cry and said " Its always my fault" So i just said sorry and hug her.after that I jsut didnt give a *** thinking the table will turn . I did what shes doing to me. but instead she call me saying we need to talk. And We Talk together and she said: She cant see future on me. She doesnt feel marrying me. Shes not happy anymore. She dont know if she can rely to me when we get married. So she want space. I listen and told her that I will think too. I told her that you know even you are like that. I still love you and accept you. I hope you are too. So i did think. Its been 1 weeks since that day. She text me once asking me " what is your happiness" And i reply " Achieving my goals and dreams is my happiness" and she never reply. This was the second time she did it.She told me she would never leave me again. but that was only words. So should i continue this? Or just move on? Should i contact her for a break up or just NC? Edited May 3, 2015 by Maisu
sutsie Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 A little young to be engaged. Girls minds are crazy during that age. I'd break up with her and see if she comes back after figuring things out on her own. Guys mature younger emotionally and intellectually in my own experience. I think the major red flag was she dated someone else during your first break up. I personally could never take a girl back in that situation but you must truly love this girl so follow your heart. Try couples counseling as your last resort and if she's not willing to comply then she's not worth it.
Author Maisu Posted May 3, 2015 Author Posted May 3, 2015 She was always asking me like in a joke way. When you will marry me its been 2 years. So, I though if i propose our relationship will be strong. But i was naive. She actually left me for another guy in our first break up cause I didnt pay her more attention. but the guy treat her bad so she cam back to me. If just incase i want to break up should i contact her or I just NC? cause i dont want to see her crying in front of me. Thats my weekness or even her voice.
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 I would end it for good but if you can't do that a LOT Of premarital counseling is in order. As things stand you can't marry her because she's too immature to be married.
Author Maisu Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) When you talked to her did you ask why she had the change of heart? Is there someone else? Did something change? Can you set a limit on the "space"? For example tell her you want to talk in a month, and then sit down and find out what is going on? Give her the space she requested with respect and then follow up with her at the set time. You will probably have your answer then. Sorry this is so difficult. #notautomatic- . I did ask why and she said "I dont know. I just dont know what yo uare thinking sometimes and I dont know if i can rely to you if we get married I just dont feel want to get married right now" I ask her what she hate about me. And thats all she said. She also said that being engage is kinda pressuring her and She cant see a good future on me. She kinda value her friends over me lately. I ask if she like someone else again she denies it. We are suppose to meet her parents in 2 weeks. Cause we are engage and her parents want to meet me. But this happen. She is doubting our relationship. I actually work in night and she work in day. theres 1 day I check her in her apartment at 3:00am of morning and her car was not there. She get back home at 9:00am and i ask her where she go. She said " I just go out for a drive while phoning my friends." So i have the guts someone is involve again. Actually, She text me today saying We should talk 1 more time cause She still have something to say. I havent done anything to make her less affection to me. On our first break up her reason for leaving me is that i didnt pay attention to her and didnt make effort. SO i change myself on our ROUND 2 I tried what i can. I even Propose to her and she accept it saying shes happy we finnally getting married. Edited May 5, 2015 by Maisu
d0nnivain Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 She doesn't want to be married. That is the end of the inquiry. She is not your FI. You are broken up. Leave her be. Move forward in your life without her.
seminoles84 Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Getting engaged that quickly after getting back together wasn't the best idea..
aliveagain Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 . I did ask why and she said "I dont know. I just dont know what yo uare thinking sometimes and I dont know if i can rely to you if we get married I just dont feel want to get married right now" I ask her what she hate about me. And thats all she said. She also said that being engage is kinda pressuring her and She cant see a good future on me. She kinda value her friends over me lately. I ask if she like someone else again she denies it. We are suppose to meet her parents in 2 weeks. Cause we are engage and her parents want to meet me. But this happen. She is doubting our relationship. I actually work in night and she work in day. theres 1 day I check her in her apartment at 3:00am of morning and her car was not there. She get back home at 9:00am and i ask her where she go. She said " I just go out for a drive while phoning my friends." So i have the guts someone is involve again. Actually, She text me today saying We should talk 1 more time cause She still have something to say. I havent done anything to make her less affection to me. On our first break up her reason for leaving me is that i didnt pay attention to her and didnt make effort. SO i change myself on our ROUND 2 I tried what i can. I even Propose to her and she accept it saying shes happy we finnally getting married. She drives around for 6 hours all night, who stays up all night driving and talking to friends? I will bet big money she was at another man's house. My guess this is why she has lost interest in you. Dump her, run as fast as you can away from her, don't meet her parents. If you can't keep her interest during the engagement how do you expect to keep her interested enough to stay with you if you marry her? The rest of your life is a long time. She is a liar and a cheat, run, run, run, stay no contact with her, change your number.
Author Maisu Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 She drives around for 6 hours all night, who stays up all night driving and talking to friends? I will bet big money she was at another man's house. My guess this is why she has lost interest in you. Dump her, run as fast as you can away from her, don't meet her parents. If you can't keep her interest during the engagement how do you expect to keep her interested enough to stay with you if you marry her? The rest of your life is a long time. She is a liar and a cheat, run, run, run, stay no contact with her, change your number. I did know it it might be the same guy.but this girl really did change. Damn , I know the risk when i took her back. This girl use to beg me for love. But i am ready to get over it. I know why im not that broken up right now cause i feel my heart tottaly give up about this relationship. Well, i feel kinda bad and kinda stressed. Im just gonna think about what next.
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