Andrea7 Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 I am a single mother of a 2 1/2 year old girl. I recently started dating a guy. I had chances of dating before, but I was not ready. I honestly was not expecting to date anyone for a while, but we instantly connected. I don't know what it is, but there is something good between us. At least, that's eat we both agreed on. We have been seeing each other for a month, and it seemed like he was ok with me having a child because we had discussed that before he asked me on our first date. We have different days off so we only have a day out of the week to go out. But during the weekdays he visits me after work to have a cigarette and then goes home. Mind you, he lives 5 minutes from his workplace, yet drives 45 minutes to see me for 15-30 minutes. Out of nowhere he says he cannot do this. He said he doesn't want my daughter to get used to him but he doesn't want to stop talking to me. He knows he cannot just be friends, yet doesn't know what to do. I feel like he is just afraid on being becoming a "father" which I have made it clear that it's not like that. It's too soon to think that way. I used to be the one thinking so ahead of myself but he would tell me to just give us a try and enjoy the time. So why is he being this way? He had a son who unfortunately passed away 8 years ago and I'm thinking he is just afraid. I don't know what to think really. He doesn't want to stop talking, but he doesn't want to just be friends. What does he want? Is there anything I can do?
melissacus Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 Honestly, it sound to me like he simply doesn't want a relationship with you but he'd still like some of the benefits that comes with it. Maybe someone to talk to, confide in, sleep with, who knows. Either way, he already stated he doesn't want a relationship so I recommend moving on and finding someone who wants the same thing you do. You deserve that, good luck, sweetheart. 1
Author Andrea7 Posted May 3, 2015 Author Posted May 3, 2015 Thank you. I am just so confused because he randomly texts me throughout the day wishing me a good day or just random things. He also sometimes just holds my hand and kisses me on my forehead and tells me he really likes me.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 I would stop seeing him. If you do continue seeing him, I think you are going to get hurt. He told you he doesn't want to continue in this way, so he's now effectively going to be seeing you on his terms. In other words, he's not committed to you but wants to keep you around for affection when it works for him. Is that what you want?
smackie9 Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 It's never "too soon" to think that way. There is no point in investing in a relationship if he realizes he doesn't want to be a part of this. The unfair part is that he seems to think it's ok to offer fwb, when you have different expectations. Cut him off and move on. Don't be one of those who hopes he will get attached and change his mind.
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