Success1 Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 If anyone could help with ideas that would be great. We were in a year and a half relationship and broke up 2 months ago. It was always great then we had an issue which is a long story.. But he didn't want to deal with it and shut me out. We talked a couple times after and he just strung me along. Ended up telling me to move on. I'm absolutely heartbroken. Unsure what I'm dealing with is the grief of loss or feeling anxious about it. I wake up in the morning and picture him and our good times. It makes me sick to my stomach. It's like I can't help it. I get depressed and it sets the tone for my day. People are noticing my mood at work. It's like a rut I can't get out of. People say be more social but there are so many triggers and reminders at so many places. I've been out sometimes and it's good. Yesterday I spent the day on the couch all day under a blanket. I know it takes time but I feel as bad and with crying spells like the day we broke up. Any help with how to deal better would be appreciated. Thanks
d0nnivain Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 Do little things for yourself. Make sure you shower & don't wallow. Go outside & get some sunshine on your face. Take every ounce of will power & try not to let it affect work. 1
Author Success1 Posted May 3, 2015 Author Posted May 3, 2015 Thank you. Unfortunately that's what I'm doing. Laundry piled up. Every ounce of my energy to get up and shower. I have good moments then break down at the thought of him
d0nnivain Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 It's not a linear progression. As long as you are getting to work & eating, you are on the path to OK. It takes time. Hang in there & keep chugging along. 1
Author Success1 Posted May 3, 2015 Author Posted May 3, 2015 Trouble is I'm not. I've lost 20 pounds in the last month and a half. I eat snacks during the day. I can't stomach full meals. I want to heal. I'm scared that I will never get over this
Moley87 Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 Sry to hear success but your going through the early stages of the breakup and everything at the moment will be difficult. I'm 7 weeks post BU and I'm only now starting to find eating ok pining is annoying lol Take it a day as it comes and before you know you'll look back and weeks months would of past already , I have found talking on here is helping put things in perspective. We don't know what's around the corner so just keeping walking to the corner By all means PM if you have any questions I'll happily try and give you some ideas 1
d0nnivain Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 You will get over this. tell yourself that every day. Eat healthier snacks. Grazing, the idea of eating multiple times during the say in small portions is actually healthier for you. Every day push yourself a little more. Today for an hour I'm going to . . . do something you have to do. Then 2 hours, then a 1/2 day then a whole day etc. Forward progress in anything, even going outside to walk will help. 2
d0nnivain Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 Success 1 You get PM privileges after a month & certain # of posts. If you want them now you can pay a fee to be a sustaining member of the website. 1
Satu Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 You are still in the crisis/acute/shock phase. Things will get easier after a while. Here are some tips I wrote out and used in my recovery. Some of them might be helpful for you. ********************************************************* 1. Recognise that you're still in the crisis phase - you are very hurt, disappointed and angry, but the intensity of your feelings will reduce. 2. Don't suppress your feelings, or tell yourself that you shouldn't be feeling what you're feeling - that never helps. 3. Externalise your feelings by writing them down, talking to a trustworthy person, or using any other mode of expression that feels right. 4. Remind yourself frequently that you can and will have a good life without this person. 5. Tell yourself frequently that you can and will love again. 6. Take care of your body: Eat enough and eat healthily. Drink enough water. Thats 1.5 litres for a female, 2 litres for a male. Get a bit more rest than you think you need. If you can't sleep, just lie down. Do some easy exercise - nothing too strenuous. If you feel physically unwell go to see your doctor. 7. Do not allow yourself to become socially isolated or withdrawn. 8. Establish Total No Contact with your ex. No contact directly, indirectly, or by social media. 9. Keep up with all your responsibilities and things you have to do. 10. Do not use alcohol or drugs in an attempt to self-medicate. 11. Post here as often as you want to. ********************************************************* All the best, Satu.
Author Success1 Posted May 3, 2015 Author Posted May 3, 2015 Thanks for that. I have come to realize that I know I am in the grief stage but from what I have read there I am certainly not taking as good care of myself as I should. I should keep better on my own personal health because I know I've let it slip 1
Satu Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 Thanks for that. I have come to realize that I know I am in the grief stage but from what I have read there I am certainly not taking as good care of myself as I should. I should keep better on my own personal health because I know I've let it slip Things will get easier.
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