coldhearted Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 So I met this girl at a bus station the other week. We made out in an alley and the next night we banged. We started hanging out and then she just dissapears bout 4 days in. I figure it's a one time thing and three days later she calls me asking why I didn't call. Needles to say I was stoked. And I have to say she is absolutely gorgeous... head over heels. Things are going really well and when we hang out she always says how cute I am and how much she likes me. One time she said I love you but I acted like I didn't hear her and she reverted to "I really like you" anyways. After the first time she stayed the night we had plans the next day. She comes over and for some reason she ends up leaving but says she really wanted to stay and that the night before and the morning were amazing. She said she doesn't want to get too attached and made plans to spend the night the next day. Next day comes and nothing. She has had some questionable life. Choices but she just completely disappeared. Can't get a hold of her.. nothing. I panick. I left her a few messages wondering what the deal was n seeing if she was ok. So I decode not to call her anymore. I didn't call her on Friday and then today she called me and asked how I was doing. I said good.. I figured we'd have some time to talk but she sounded very distracted.. she was with a friend (woman) and there was alot of noise.. she said sorry and the phone hangs up. At first I thought awesome.. she called me.. I'm gonna see her again. Now I'm wondering what the **** she is doing. Is she treating me like ****? Is she crazy? Is she playing some sort of game? I can't take too much more and I'm preparing to let her go.. but like I said... she's just ****ing gorgeous. Why is she doing this? What should I do? How do I know if she's lying about everything? Goddamnit
d0nnivain Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 It's not about you. She is a free spirit. If you can live with her drifting in & out of your life & bed, great. If you want something more conventional, a girl who makes out with you in an alley, bangs you about 24 hours after she meets you, makes "questionable life. Choices" (your words) & frequently disappears is not one to be tied down. Just because you think she's gorgeous & you want her does not mean she's willing to fit herself into the neat little box of being your GF. I don't think she's playing you in the standard mean sense. I think this is simply who she is. Accept it or move on. 4
Author coldhearted Posted May 3, 2015 Author Posted May 3, 2015 Thank you. That's solid insight and will consider it. Now I might be crazy but I gotta throw in this seemingly insignificant detail. The last time we hung out. We were chillin on the couch when my roommate and his girl came home. I saw the girl I was with and my roommates girl make eye contact and it was here that the girl decided she should leave. I think some sort of message was sent and I'm pretty sure it was: "ooh look another girl he brought over" which is partly true. And the girl I'm seeing did mention she thinks I'm a player... This is when she brought up who I was ****ing before her and she said she doesn't want to get too attached. Does this change anything?
neowulf Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 Does this change anything? Not really. Who know's what's going through her head. The reasons for her actions at this point don't matter as much as the actions themselves. She's just having a little fun man. I suggest you just leave it at that.
Redhead14 Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 So I met this girl at a bus station the other week. We made out in an alley and the next night we banged. We started hanging out and then she just dissapears bout 4 days in. I figure it's a one time thing and three days later she calls me asking why I didn't call. Needles to say I was stoked. And I have to say she is absolutely gorgeous... head over heels. Things are going really well and when we hang out she always says how cute I am and how much she likes me. One time she said I love you but I acted like I didn't hear her and she reverted to "I really like you" anyways. After the first time she stayed the night we had plans the next day. She comes over and for some reason she ends up leaving but says she really wanted to stay and that the night before and the morning were amazing. She said she doesn't want to get too attached and made plans to spend the night the next day. Next day comes and nothing. She has had some questionable life. Choices but she just completely disappeared. Can't get a hold of her.. nothing. I panick. I left her a few messages wondering what the deal was n seeing if she was ok. So I decode not to call her anymore. I didn't call her on Friday and then today she called me and asked how I was doing. I said good.. I figured we'd have some time to talk but she sounded very distracted.. she was with a friend (woman) and there was alot of noise.. she said sorry and the phone hangs up. At first I thought awesome.. she called me.. I'm gonna see her again. Now I'm wondering what the **** she is doing. Is she treating me like ****? Is she crazy? Is she playing some sort of game? I can't take too much more and I'm preparing to let her go.. but like I said... she's just ****ing gorgeous. Why is she doing this? What should I do? How do I know if she's lying about everything? Goddamnit You are this wrapped up in a girl you met at a bus stop, went into an alley with and had sex? Did you pay her cash or put it on your credit card? You mentioned she has some questionnable life choices -- having sex in an alley with a stranger is one. It's kinda high up on your list of questionnable life choices as well now. Get a grip and move on before you end up with a disease.
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 If AFTER she made out with you in an alley & slept with you this free spirit is accusing you of being a player & demanding info about your past relationships, I think she has at best a double standard but I also don't think she's the type you can really pin your hopes for an LTR on her.
Gary S Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 She has had some questionable life. Choices . she said sorry and the phone hangs up. - She's crazy.
preraph Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 If the other girl came in with the roommate, there's no way she'd make anything out of that. It's possible they know each other from somewhere, though, and don't like each other.
fitnessfan365 Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 Dude no offense. But this is a woman you met at a bus station, made out with in an alley, and then had sex with the next day. She was already questionable to begin with. In the end, you have to live your life as you see fit. But that's not usually the type of woman that's long term potential. Just saying..
Ambivalence Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 I assume you showed value at the bus station, clearly thought you were a cool guy, and proceeded to invest in the relationship. Unfortunately she probably found out that you're not who she thought you were and dropped the relationship. I could give you the lecture of "go out and approach women, read books, meditate, work out, travel, etc." but I'm sure you've heard it before.
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