Met her online yesterday - today texted for 15 hours straight.

May 3, 2015

Yeah, 15 hours seems like a lot to me. But not necessarily in a good way.

I've had it happen to me too when I first started OLD. I've texted a girl or two for a week or more (while our schedules lined up for a planned date). We spend the days texting back and forth, flirting, sending cute pics, saying goodnight or good morning and enjoying the convo. She'd express how excited she felt and didn't believe it was possible.

Then we'd have our date and it would last a few hours. Maybe more. Great conversation. Light teasing. Playfulness. Some would even come back to my place and hang out. Some would end with us kissing and making out and then finally we me walking them back to their car or apartment. In some cases, maybe even more.

And then...in some cases. I'd never hear from them again. Or after trying to call them up looking to get a second date, they'd text me back a few hours later, seeming very cold and unfriendly. And they'd state something along the lines of "I'm not interested in seeing you again. I felt no spark"

So the moral of the story is...you can't really get your hopes up that much. It sucks. And it's part of the game of dating. I've learned to keep it on the light side, because the longer you have those great texting conversations, the greater the possibility of her building up immense expectations for that date. Expectations that might be really hard to fulfill.

And then it sucks even more so, because you just spent the week texting her. Building all of that up, for nothing.

Try to keep it light. At least until that first date.

Good luck.

May 3, 2015

I see your point but...people who get together and stay together seem to have much to talk about. I mean my parents were married their whole life so obviously they probably had something to say after the 10th year.

I agree! I hate to constantly bring up boyfriend, but after 5+ years, there is always plenty to talk about!

We are talking about a romantic connection here, not a job interview with a list of pre-set questions, and once they're answered, there's nothing left to talk about.

I cannot relate to that at all...

May 3, 2015

Well, I won't be as negative as everyone else!

I met my current boyfriend of two and a half months on Tinder. Neither of us expected to find a relationship, but signed up looking to talk to people, make some friends, whatever. We found each other after about 2 days on there and spent about a week texting before we met. There was quite a spark in the texting phase but I went on the date a bit apprehensive that there would be chemistry in person.

Good lord. I can't even put into words how amazing the chemistry is...he is the guy that I always wanted but didnt think actually existed.

Good luck to you!! I hope it goes well!

May 3, 2015

I get the caution and the high expectations deal but it isn't like either one of us was pushing or nagging. It was a natural flow of conversation. One question leading to an answer and vice versa. It just happened to be mostly through text.

Even she admitted she should have called sooner and I said the same for myself. Then after the call, we texted for another three hours. I'm just simply saying that hasn't happened before with anyone I've met online. I just take it for what it is and roll with it.

All I see is two people who have 15 hours to waste are now meeting in person. OMG. This has train wreck written all over it.

You know what I would have been doing yesterday if not texting? Cleaning the damn garage or fixing a doorknob. I should have done that instead because that would have been way more fun!

Edited May 3, 2015 by SingleDude

May 3, 2015

I get the caution and the high expectations deal but it isn't like either one of us was pushing or nagging. It was a natural flow of conversation. One question leading to an answer and vice versa. It just happened to be mostly through text.

Even she admitted she should have called sooner and I said the same for myself. Then after the call, we texted for another three hours. I'm just simply saying that hasn't happened before with anyone I've met online. I just take it for what it is and roll with it.

And what is this void crap? What void? You know what I would have been doing yesterday if not texting? Cleaning the damn garage or fixing a doorknob. I should have done that instead because that would have been way more fun!

SingleDude ...I'm actually with you..

What difference does it make whether you spent that 15 hours on phone or in person?

Point is you were communicating and connecting .. getting to know each other.

The next step is actually meeting in person, which you are doing today, one day later.

Had you chosen to NOT meet in person yet, and continue engaging in these long-winded text sessions, for days or weeks...THAT would be different.

But you are not, you made a plan to meet the very next day...which is today.

Speaking from experience, 15 hours can fly by when you are having fun and connecting with someone.

Whether or not you will connect as well in person has yet to be seen, and I think you understand that.

So just go meet her and enjoy!

There will always be naysayers..just ignore and do what feels right for you. :bunny:

May 3, 2015

SingleDude ...I'm actually with you..

What difference does it make whether you spent that 15 hours on phone or in person?

Point is you were communicating and connecting .. getting to know each other.

The next step is actually meeting in person, which you are doing today, one day later.

Had you chosen to NOT meet in person yet, and continue engaging in these long-winded text sessions, for days or weeks...THAT would be different.

But you are not, you made a plan to meet the very next day...which is today.

Speaking from experience, 15 hours can fly by when you are having fun and connecting with someone.

Whether or not you will connect as well in person has yet to be seen, and I think you understand that.

So just go meet her and enjoy!

There will always be naysayers..just ignore and do what feels right for you. :bunny:

That's exactly how I see it too.

May 3, 2015

It was raining & you had fun.

Good. Maybe this will work out for you because you found a kindred spirit who likes to text.

I think texting is among the worst ways to communicate in the world. I find it tedious so a 15 hour text "conversation" sounds like torture to me so given my incredible dislike for the medium I can't muster a positive response.

As much as I feel chemistry with someone initially, I would be hard pressed to find something to talk to a new person about for 15 hours so that too would be a negative for me . . . that much pressure to keep things going so long.

Finally, it seems like too much too soon, too good to be true. I fear burn out too quickly will happen. It's an artificial way to think you know somebody when in fact you don't. Don't go in to this coffee date with your expectations too high.

May 3, 2015

Don't go in to this coffee date with your expectations too high.

I agree...to me the expectations never met up with the reality when the candle was burned fast.

Have Fun, it seems you are already doing that.. just be careful to not invest too much so early, keep some in reserve till you meet them

May 3, 2015

People who puts rules and guidelines and so many restrictions on dating usually are the input, cynical single people, go figure. If this feels good and right to you, go with it, good for you. I wish you luck and am interested to know how the coffee goes!

May 3, 2015

It was raining & you had fun.

Good. Maybe this will work out for you because you found a kindred spirit who likes to text.

I think texting is among the worst ways to communicate in the world. I find it tedious so a 15 hour text "conversation" sounds like torture to me so given my incredible dislike for the medium I can't muster a positive response.

As much as I feel chemistry with someone initially, I would be hard pressed to find something to talk to a new person about for 15 hours so that too would be a negative for me . . . that much pressure to keep things going so long.

To each their own. I sure as hell wasn't feeling pressured and neither was she. We both agreed to talk on the phone more too.

I think talking that long is a positive. It means you have something in common.

Good luck to ya.

May 3, 2015

I meant unhappy... not input

May 3, 2015

People aren't responding negatively because they're trying to harsh your buzz, they're just being realistic. Try reading their posts with an open mind. For example, you say there was no pressure and no expectations, and it's fine because you both obviously enjoyed it. But you're already on here telling us it "has to mean something". Do you see how you've set the bar sky-high? Instead of walking into a coffee shop hoping to meet someone new, you'll be sitting there, determined to recreate that supposedly meaningful connection in person. (You may not be conscious of it but I guarantee you're going to try.) That's an incredible amount of pressure on you and her.

Contrary to what the Legions of Bitter Humans would have you believe, online dating is not actually a separate form of dating. It's simply a means of introducing you to people you wouldn't otherwise meet. Dating doesn't begin until you see the person face-to-face. Investing so heavily in a person you've never met isn't necessarily wrong, but it's unwise. Would you buy a car you've read a few articles about but never driven?

May 3, 2015

People who puts rules and guidelines and so many restrictions on dating usually are the input, cynical single people, go figure. If this feels good and right to you, go with it, good for you. I wish you luck and am interested to know how the coffee goes!

I'm not unhappy, single or cynical.. I met my wife of almost 8 years on match so I'm just speaking from my experiences in doing OLD for years, go figure...

I do agree that if it feels good then go for it but I also agree that setting expectations so high before you meet someone is just asking to be let down.

May 3, 2015

Met her today. It went great. Moving in tomorrow and getting married next week.

May 3, 2015

Met her today. It went great. Moving in tomorrow and getting married next week.

Lol, congrats!!! :bunny::bunny:

May 3, 2015

Met her today. It went great. Moving in tomorrow and getting married next week.

lol

Post pics of the wedding dude!

May 4, 2015

Lol no it was nice. Got a second date set up this Tues.

May 4, 2015

Lol no it was nice. Got a second date set up this Tues.

Excellent! Glad to hear my "guess" was wrong!

May 4, 2015

I met my fiance online, not on a dating site though. But we never went at it for 15 hours on the phone in one go. It would have bored me to death tbh. It took a few months of conversations, texts and exchanging interests before we decided to meet. Of course even after a few messages we had a strong connection, but we went with the flow. We've been together for 2 years now, I'm moving to Scotland in July and getting married next year.

I think it takes time and space to get to know someone, especially online. Yeah the excitement is there, especially because you're looking forward to meeting them. It's exciting. But...sometimes that's just all it is, and then you meet in person and nada!

Maybe shorten the length on conversations or texts. Carry on doing your own thing. I love my crazy fiance, but I can honestly say it would have freaked me out having constant contact with him.

Let us know what happens though

May 4, 2015

Excellent! Glad to hear my "guess" was wrong!

Yeah I was digging her personality and looks. I got good vibes from her. I hope this turns into something.

May 4, 2015

Like nonstop. Maybe one half hour break. Even a phone call mixed in. We haven't even met in person yet. Ive never in my life had a 15 hour conversation before. And these aren't simple one-liners. This has to mean something. You know those silly OKC questions? About 300 answered. 89%.

Going to see her tomorrow. Has this ever happened to anyone who did OLD?

That's over the top and suspicious. But, there won't be much to talk about when you meet and you'll likely repeat a lot of what's already been said.

By the way, this is the hallmark of a "catfisher". So please beware. She may be of foreign descent, if she shows up. If she starts lamenting her life and asks you for money or support of any kind, leave it alone and report it to the dating site. They engage you quickly and almost obsessively. They are often looking for someone to marry so they can stay in the country.

Go and enjoy it, just be very careful. Get to know her slowly if you like her enough to continue dating.

May 4, 2015

That's over the top and suspicious. But, there won't be much to talk about when you meet and you'll likely repeat a lot of what's already been said.

By the way, this is the hallmark of a "catfisher". So please beware. She may be of foreign descent, if she shows up. If she starts lamenting her life and asks you for money or support of any kind, leave it alone and report it to the dating site. They engage you quickly and almost obsessively. They are often looking for someone to marry so they can stay in the country.

Go and enjoy it, just be very careful. Get to know her slowly if you like her enough to continue dating.

Uhh, you're a little late to the party. We have been chatting on a regular basis and I'm seeing her again tomorrow. Nobody is catfishing here.

May 4, 2015

Okay, so you met and there's attraction on your end. You never really know if it's on her end for 2 months... you don't have a foundation yet. She might just approve of you and want to see if a spark happens on date 2, or 3. Just sayin'.

At any rate, you are obviously doing things right for her to make a second date with you, bravo! I hope it goes!

May 4, 2015

Okay, so you met and there's attraction on your end. You never really know if it's on her end for 2 months... you don't have a foundation yet. She might just approve of you and want to see if a spark happens on date 2, or 3. Just sayin'.

At any rate, you are obviously doing things right for her to make a second date with you, bravo! I hope it goes!

Gary, more often than not I'll like your advice. But I've never agreed with you making a blanket statement saying all women take two months, 1) You're not a woman and 2) every woman is different. That's why it's never a good idea to have a "by the book" mentality when it should be taken on a case by case basis.

May 4, 2015

i dont know

Edited May 4, 2015 by UntitledNotepad

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Met her online yesterday - today texted for 15 hours straight.

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