dantrucks Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 I've gone on two dates with this girl, one great one so so mainly because of awkwardness, and today Im going to this thing with some friends and she'll be there. Shes been slightly blowing me off, mainly by texting very little, so what should I look for out of tonight and what should I do?? We had a good time together and she even said so, so Im not sure what's going on really. Lots of laugh and noticed all the nervousness signs in her while we were together as well as smiles. I did tell her I really like spending time with her and how beautiful she is so I dunno if that may have put a damper on things? She thanked me for everything both times both in person and by text and seemed really eager about it
Author dantrucks Posted May 3, 2015 Author Posted May 3, 2015 bump? It was pretty much how I expected it to be. She continued to pay little attention to me all night. only positive I can see is she was a big nervous whenever she talked to me or my name was mentioned or something. But other than that she made little effort to get near her, though in my defense I didn't either. Mistake on my part right?? I dunno if I was hurting or the whole social situation stopped me, but I think I was just feeling awkward about it all. she was likely too? I mean were those first two dates a waste?? can I do something to come back to that feeling? We seriously connected. Was he perhaps expecting me to text her more or maybe even call her after our second date? Should I text her something before she goes to bed or in the morning like I miss our talks or something?
chantos Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 (edited) I did tell her I really like spending time with her and how beautiful she is so I dunno if that may have put a damper on things? Yep. Spoke too soon, killed the attraction and played your hand too early. Almost impossible to bounce back from that bud. If a girl wants to be around you she'll find a way, you'll be able to read the signals loud and clear. Don't text anything, it will hurt you much more than helping you. These "connections" you feel... women feel these all the time over and over, they can connect very deeply very quickly, with very many guys. It's much more special to you than it was to her. And then when you told her you liked her it killed the spark and now she's bailed. The best way you can play it is to just completely stop contacting her and talk to other girls. Maybe she will come back around, but probably not. Any sort of contact at this point will seriously damage your chances with her. I mean that. Fight the urge to text. If she texts you you better play it cool and act half-interested from here on out until she's blowing up your phone to hang out. Edited May 3, 2015 by chantos
d0nnivain Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 At best she's scared. While you sat there waiting for her to come to you, she sat there waiting for you to take the lead as the man Don't get hung up on the texting. Not everybody is a text-er. Try for a 4th date but go out of your way to make her feel at ease.
Author dantrucks Posted May 3, 2015 Author Posted May 3, 2015 Yep. Spoke too soon, killed the attraction and played your hand too early. Almost impossible to bounce back from that bud. If a girl wants to be around you she'll find a way, you'll be able to read the signals loud and clear. Don't text anything, it will hurt you much more than helping you. These "connections" you feel... women feel these all the time over and over, they can connect very deeply very quickly, with very many guys. It's much more special to you than it was to her. And then when you told her you liked her it killed the spark and now she's bailed. The best way you can play it is to just completely stop contacting her and talk to other girls. Maybe she will come back around, but probably not. Any sort of contact at this point will seriously damage your chances with her. I mean that. Fight the urge to text. If she texts you you better play it cool and act half-interested from here on out until she's blowing up your phone to hang out. Even if in person I only told her I love the time we're spending together and simply by text told her shes beautiful by telling her to have as beautiful a day as she is??(cheese and stupid yeah...) So the fact that shes still nervous around me and had agreed after the second date to go out again, though I offered no specific plan, mean nothing? Should I just set up that third date regardless as if I dont care what happened in the last two days? I have to text her if I wanna do that, and of curse I cant just text her immediately "hey lets go out to this place", can I? I mean at least I usually let the conversation flow and then bring that up
Author dantrucks Posted May 3, 2015 Author Posted May 3, 2015 At best she's scared. While you sat there waiting for her to come to you, she sat there waiting for you to take the lead as the man Don't get hung up on the texting. Not everybody is a text-er. Try for a 4th date but go out of your way to make her feel at ease. And in what way can I "take lead"? Asking her, or better, telling her we should go this place as our third date? Completely ignoring what went down the last two days? cause Im thinking that's the only choice I have right now! play it cool about everything and act like nothing bad happened since the end of our second you know im also thinking if she might have gone cold a bit cause I didnt text her enough while trying to play it cool. I mean before our dates I was texting her most mornings and nights and she'd ask lots of questions to keep the conversation going, but I tried to law low a bit like you're saying so Im not sure which is it
Gary S Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 Just call her once a week for a date and lay off the compliments. And don't try to judge her interest when you are with other friends, it does not work well.
d0nnivain Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 When a guy is too cold & hanging back some women interpret that as lack of interest. I'd call her for the next date. You pick the time & place. Be chivalrous when she arrives: peck her check, open doors, hold out chairs etc. Pay attention when she talks. Touch her. Nothing overtly sexual, just a light occasional caress on her arm, hold hands, brush stay hair off her face. If she's still aloof at the end of the date tell her this isn't working for you & move on. I suspect though if you pay attention to her she'll respond in kind.
Author dantrucks Posted May 3, 2015 Author Posted May 3, 2015 Just call her once a week for a date and lay off the compliments. And don't try to judge her interest when you are with other friends, it does not work well. Yeah, I definitely noticed that yesterday and it was on the back of my mind before going there. Why do u think that is though? From my part at least I think it may be due to not wanting to show any signs of being together yet or something. For me at least.. funny thing is, we first met in the same group of friends. And of course were all smiles and from afar longings and wanting to speak to each other. If I were someone else I wouldn't recognize the two from last night, much less with the knowledge they went out twice recently
Author dantrucks Posted May 3, 2015 Author Posted May 3, 2015 When a guy is too cold & hanging back some women interpret that as lack of interest. I'd call her for the next date. You pick the time & place. Be chivalrous when she arrives: peck her check, open doors, hold out chairs etc. Pay attention when she talks. Touch her. Nothing overtly sexual, just a light occasional caress on her arm, hold hands, brush stay hair off her face. If she's still aloof at the end of the date tell her this isn't working for you & move on. I suspect though if you pay attention to her she'll respond in kind. I get that yeah, but then I get the advice not to text much and finding the middle ground is hard as u can see:( I will ask her on the next date then. But it is more of an activity date since the first two it was sit down more than anything. As for the light touching, I did that the last date but to a small extent since, while she didn't back off or anything, she reciprocate none at all. Though Im pretty sure I have had that happened before with others..
Gary S Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 People relate differently in a group, that's why they are hard to read. Try to stay away from groups with her for the first six months, keep the date one-on-one.
Author dantrucks Posted May 3, 2015 Author Posted May 3, 2015 People relate differently in a group, that's why they are hard to read. Try to stay away from groups with her for the first six months, keep the date one-on-one. hm that makes sense. I mean it was on the back of my mind that this could be horrible, and it was! But I just really wanted to see her! in hindsight, she asked an inordinate amount of times if I was gonna go tooo. I will keep it one on one though. Except at most meeting my best friend since shes always interested. And there I go getting my hopes up again..
Author dantrucks Posted May 4, 2015 Author Posted May 4, 2015 Update: I did ask her out and she said yes, just told me to let her know in advance (I told her of two different possible days) cause shes busy and doesn't wanna miss it she also has gone to this place before, which I was sure she hadn't, and still wants to go. I'll take that as a good thing??
Gary S Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 There should be no callbacks to verify the date, you are not a doctor's office. I would have said, "Perhaps we'll do something another time when you are more sure of your schedule", then made some small talk and then called another girl. Don't let some bad girl you barely know tie up your time and love-life. What has she done for you lately?! Some of you guys need to develop a backbone.
Lansing Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 The OP sounds like he was the one that give her two dates. He should have firmed up right away. Don't try to analyze. Set a date and see how it goes in person.
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