Taeyang Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 Hi guys, so I just got in a fight with my boyfriend and don't know what to do. Yesterday we agreed we'd spend time separately with friends, and his friend time fell through because they were all with their girlfriends, so he went to a bar by himself, which i thought was a bit weird but I didn't say anything he needed to relax so whatever, and he kept in contact with me and i told him i appreciated it and everything was great, then I went out with my two girl friends and he was being weird about it but i kept in contact too. So today he asked me how it went, and I told him the stuff that happened i.e. We ended up waking more than drinking, my feet hurt from the heels. And he was being weird about me wearing heels.. Then he said to me, i ***** you not, "so how did it go with your heels? Were you also showing your ass with a tampon in a dress?" and i thought that was very disrespectful, i was like no and that's not funny. He also said my friends were hoes... Then i asked him how it went for him, to try and change the conversation, and he was like it went ok. Then he added that a lot of guys were trying to hit on the bartendress and he was making fun of them, and i was just like ok haha, then he kept adding that he thought she thought he was cool cuz they kept talking for a long time and i was like oh cool she probably thought you were cool because you were the only one not hitting on her, and he kept going on about it and started telling me that she looked like she knew she had a big ass and was hot but that he kept messing with her and saying stuff like he wouldnt buy her a drink he'd rather buy himself one and whatnot, so at that point i lost my cool and was like "oh so she had a big ass?" and he was like "yeah, so?" so i told him a cute guy hit on me yesterday and he was like good for you, so i told him yes exactly my thoughts, good for you so if you dont want me to tell you stuff like that dont tell me that she had a big ass, and he started flipping about me being jealous and not trusting him, and it pissed me off. I just told him if i were to not trust him i would not have been ok with him going to a bar by himself, and even less ok with him talking to the hot waitress all night, but no i was ok with it but what i wasn't ok with is his stupid comment about her having a big ass and being hot, that i don't want to know that and that if anyone doesn't trust someone it's him because of his stupid comment about me wearing heels and showing my ass, making me sound like a whore. And i just removed myself from the conversation. I feel like he was just trying to make me jealous to feel better about his insecurity towards me going out with my girl friends last night. So I am very angry, and we have plans for a double date tonight with his best friend. But honestly I don't feel like doing anything with him anymore and I don't want to talk to him. Can anyone advise me as to what to do? I mean should i let it go and make up so we can have a good time tonight and not cancel on his best friend? I feel like i need to stand my ground because he was very disrespectful, but i dont know how to deal with it, what can i do? I feel like giving him the cold shoulder for a couple of days so he can have time to reflect (we don't live together so it'd be easy). Is that too much? Am i exaggerating or am i right to get mad over this? I should add, i know the best thing would be to talk about it but he is very stubborn and wont see my side of it unless i stop talking to him and he sees it's a big deal and not until then does he reflect on his actions... Please, any input would help.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 Holy crap! Is he always so disrespectful? Sorry OP, but your boyfriend sounds like a huge jerk. That is the biggest problem here. He obviously doesn't respect you or he wouldn't use that type of language with you. No, I wouldn't be going anywhere with him. Don't play games and give him the cold shoulder. Tell him what you told us - you feel disrespected and no longer wish to go. Oh, and tell him where the door is too.
Vercetti Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 Unless you or friends have a history of acting nutty when going out, boyfriend sounds over the top. On the extreme maybe he has been acting uncouth and is dumping on you.
Author Taeyang Posted May 2, 2015 Author Posted May 2, 2015 He isn't usually like that, he is a very sweet guy but I've noticed he can be disrespectful when he is feeling insecure but this time i feel like he crossed the line. I don't act like that ever and have never given him reason to doubt me, and I've know for a while he doesn't think too well of my friends because they date around and have cheated and they tell me about it front of him. But he's never told me straight up "your friends are hoes" and i would think if he trusted me he'd know I'm not like that.
Vercetti Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 If I was aiming for something solid with you, friends that have cheated I would wish for them to drift away. Just a thing of would rather be surrounded by like minded people with Intergity and stable. Wouldn't want my significant other around those that could encourage uncouth behavior as normal. Can't say for sure why your boyfriend has acted way he has. Could just poorly be expressing dislike for those feels could be toxic, or could be projecting.
Buddhist Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 Well unless you like this kind of abuse you just dump him. Otherwise prepare to take hits to your self esteem.
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