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I love her and she loves me , when i was ready to ask her out she cut out all contact

AntonDaems

By AntonDaems
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AntonDaems Member

AntonDaems

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Dear people from love shack,

 

To make it short and understandable here is my story,

 

I am 24 and she is 23 , i know her since i was dating with my ex girlfriend which is now already for the past 2 years. She helped me to get trough my break up and since then we where best friends with here and there some romantic and very close moments.

The last months however got more intense and we grew to eachother very closely , sleeping togheter and doing lots of things togheter.

 

I figured out about her dropping hints to ask her out which i carefully prepared untill i was ready , i told her and then she gave me a cold shower saying she cant do this and she needs time and she has to focus on her university etc etc ... I was quit suprised and shocked but i respected her decision and i deleted her in every way so i would not initiate contact as she asked me not to contact her anymore...

 

I am just wondering what is going trough her head ? Ive always been nice to her and there where not any issues during the times weve spend togheter.

It is very frustrating and sad cause i really love this girl. It is not that i want a girlfriend for having one but i really saw some posibilties with her and she filled me on pretty well.

 

Any suggestions , or ideas what could happen in the future ?

Im staying no contact as that was her wish ...

 

My best friend also wanted to send her a message askign what or why she acting this way but i stopped him of doing so , he is abit very protective over me ...

 

Any insights would be very much apreciated

 

Thanks for taking your time and reading my story ...

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AntonDaems Member

AntonDaems

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Btw if there is any more information you need please feel free to ask ...

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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My guess? She's met someone else and realizes she can't keep this up with you. I say this because she's also asked you not to contact her, which seems a bit extreme if she were really only worried about focusing on school. I think there might be another guy in the picture and she doesn't want you two crossing paths.

 

And you were right to tell your friend not to ask her what's going on. That would be a very unwise move and it's not his business.

 

Best thing you can do for yourself if start detaching and moving on. It's hurtful, but you're already doing the right thing by cutting ties.

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katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

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Posted (edited)

Wow Anton, I gotta admit I am completely stumped. I usually have good insight into these things (or would like to think I do anyway..lol)...but this time I can honestly say I have no clue, and couldn't even begin to speculate.

 

Except to say that perhaps before you actually asked her out, the whole thing felt more like a fantasy, which felt safe (emotionally) ....but after you actually asked her out (even though she had been hinting for you to do so), the REALITY of it freaked her out due to possible issues with commitment, or whatever.

 

But that is just a guess. Hopefully, others here will be more helpful.

 

In any event, just wanted to say I am really sorry, that sucks!

Edited by katiegrl
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AntonDaems Member

AntonDaems

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My guess? She's met someone else and realizes she can't keep this up with you. I say this because she's also asked you not to contact her, which seems a bit extreme if she were really only worried about focusing on school. I think there might be another guy in the picture and she doesn't want you two crossing paths.

 

And you were right to tell your friend not to ask her what's going on. That would be a very unwise move and it's not his business.

 

Best thing you can do for yourself if start detaching and moving on. It's hurtful, but you're already doing the right thing by cutting ties.

 

Could be right , i have no clue and i guess i will never know until she reaches out again... It could be anything but it might be another guy , altough i dont think so to be honest ive know her and her friends too wel for that , she doesnt seem the girl to be liek this but hey , you never know. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this ...

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AntonDaems Member

AntonDaems

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Wow Anton, I gotta admit I am completely stumped. I usually have good insight into these things (or would like to think I do anyway..lol)...but this time I can honestly say I have no clue, and couldn't even begin to speculate.

 

Except to say that perhaps before you actually asked her out, the whole thing felt more like a fantasy, which felt safe (emotionally) ....but after you actually asked her out (even though she had been hinting for you to do so), the REALITY of it freaked her out due to possible issues with commitment, or whatever.

 

But that is just a guess. Hopefully, others here will be more helpful.

 

In any event, just wanted to say I am really sorry, that sucks!

 

Hey Katie , thanks for your insight , it doesnt matter if its good or bad , i could do with some insights anyway as i am literally stunned about what happened. I really dont understand and i am not going to make the mistake by chasing her as i know that will just make things worse ... I guess i have to leave her alone and move on which i think is a very pitty , but in the end we will see if she wants to initiate contact , which will be very difficult as i blocked her off on all platforms basically. Im angry at her for being like this but then at nights i get sad and start crying ... Guess its a natural process that gets overwon by time ...

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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My best friend also wanted to send her a message askign what or why she acting this way but i stopped him of doing so , he is abit very protective over me ....

 

Unless you are in middle school, do not do this. If your BFF reaches out to her about stuff that is none of his business -- her relationship with you -- she will never speak to you again.

 

After being FWB at best you decided you wanted a relationship & it may not have been what she wanted.

 

There are different kinds of love. Even though you claim to love her, I am skeptical of that given how you described the interactions, she may not love you in the hearts & flowers romantic way.

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AntonDaems Member

AntonDaems

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Unless you are in middle school, do not do this. If your BFF reaches out to her about stuff that is none of his business -- her relationship with you -- she will never speak to you again.

 

After being FWB at best you decided you wanted a relationship & it may not have been what she wanted.

 

There are different kinds of love. Even though you claim to love her, I am skeptical of that given how you described the interactions, she may not love you in the hearts & flowers romantic way.

 

Well i stopped him of doing so ... hes just very concerned about me

 

I dont know why she asks and hinted to ask her out ... its very confusing too and i didnt want a relationship well we both didnt want too untill she dropped it and said you should ask me out .. ive been thinking about it for a long time and i do love her i feel it it is not just loving to love someone ... but i respect her decision to not contact her .. maybe she reaches out to me again otherwise it wasnt ment to happen

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