batjokes92 Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 (edited) I'm very upset right now because I will be turning 23 in a matter of weeks and I have still never been in a "real" relationship. Ive come close to a relationship only once before when I was 21. We were seeing each other one on one for two months. I was desperate so I kissed him first and this later lead to sex (again I was desperate and I wanted to get some experience, I regret that decision now) later he told me we were never dating we were just friends with benefits. This completely and utterly broke my heart and my self esteem. It took me a very long time to get over him. (still not entirely over him but i'm moving on) I REALLY want to start dating but my social skills are very bad. I'm not even sure I'm attractive enough to get a date. I've tried dating this one guy just to get practice because I wasn't really interested in him. I was very uncomfortable! So uncomfortable that I in turn made HIM uncomfortable. We went to the movies and he didn't even sit down next to me! How pathetic is that? (I then told him something like "hey, this is a date, you're allowed to sit next to me if you want to) I feel there is something very wrong with me. I am employed. I work at an art gallery as an assistant right now. It's a paid placement so I'll probably be done with that job in a few months. I live on my own in a very small town (very remote area) far away from any of my friends so I am lonely A LOT. I'm only living here because the rent is free and my parents don't want me around anymore. I feel like I'm becoming a crazy person. I was socially awkward before but I feel this involuntary isolation will make me socially inept. I'm very concerned for my future and my own happiness. What should I do? Edited May 2, 2015 by batjokes92
Els Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 I'm very concerned about your isolation too - that sounds like the root of most of your problems. If you are employed full-time can you not move closer to your job (which I presume is in a larger town)? You'd save on commuting and if you get a shared place with roommates the rent will not be too excessive.
Author batjokes92 Posted May 2, 2015 Author Posted May 2, 2015 The town I work in is even further away from my family and friends. Besides, I'm not making enough money at this job to live anywhere that requires rent. I may have to stick it out until my contract is over then continue looking for a better job in the city, but that's not the issue, the issue is I feel I need to get relationship experiance before it's too late!
Author batjokes92 Posted May 2, 2015 Author Posted May 2, 2015 I've read a thread on here saying no one should get into a relationship with someone who is 30+ that has never had a relationship themselves and it SCARES me to think that this may be my fate if i don't do something to fix my situation NOW
jen1447 Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 lol, don't pay any attention to those silly blanket statements like that hon. There could very well be a 90 year old who'd never had a relationship who would be a very rewarding partner. I think part of your anxiety might stem from feeling obligated to abide by all these 'norms' that you feel are paramount. They're not. Step 1 is relax, step 2 is let whatever happens happen. 2
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