Author totenkopf Posted May 7, 2015 Author Posted May 7, 2015 Hi all I have this gut feeling that my ex gf is trying to hurt me by her actions. She got engaged to some guy after being with him for six weeks. We had planned marriage and a life together. Mistakes were made on both sides in the relationship but I deeply loved her. I have had mixed thoughts about her true feelings for me but I have accepted that she really did feel the same. We have had no contact at all but I just feel that she is still in love with me and her actions are that of a very upset and vunerable woman.
Mrin Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 Well that would be one story. I'm not sure that really serves you nor is rooted in reality. Or it could be that she found another guy, fell in love and is making some rash decisions - but it has nothing to do with you. I don't think someone gets engaged to another person to get back at their ex. Just doesn't happen. 2
Author totenkopf Posted May 7, 2015 Author Posted May 7, 2015 Well that would be one story. I'm not sure that really serves you nor is rooted in reality. Or it could be that she found another guy, fell in love and is making some rash decisions - but it has nothing to do with you. I don't think someone gets engaged to another person to get back at their ex. Just doesn't happen. Sorry but getting engaged to someone after six weeks together leads me to believe different. 1
dangerbang Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 She's probably just madly in love, which leads some of us to do stuff like this. She clearly wasn't madly in love with you! Either way, you have nothing to do with her actions anymore so I would focus on your own shortcomings and not hers. 1
Author totenkopf Posted May 7, 2015 Author Posted May 7, 2015 She's probably just madly in love, which leads some of us to do stuff like this. She clearly wasn't madly in love with you! Either way, you have nothing to do with her actions anymore so I would focus on your own shortcomings and not hers. Well she bought a wedding dress, got her finger measured, was enquiring venues and sorted out my divorce and said she dreamed we would marry on a certain date.
dangerbang Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 Well she bought a wedding dress, got her finger measured, was enquiring venues and sorted out my divorce and said she dreamed we would marry on a certain date. So? Clearly she decided it wasn't for her. She wasn't under any legal obligations to stay with you. She can do what she wants. I wouldn't worry about her decisions if I were you. 1
hollypolly Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 Ouch! That is alot to bear so soon after a break-up. The only thing I can say to you is that you need to let her go and make her own choices. She is responsible for her own choices and if this ends up ruining her life then, sadly, thats her burden to bear. Whoever is feeding you this info on her needs to stop. You dont need to hear any of this. Erase this prrson from your present and future and leave her in the past. Im sure she did love you but you need to remember that its over now. My ex of a year ago got engaged a few months after we split and my recent relationship has failed but I dont let it get to me. I wont settle for something that doesnt work and doesnt make me happy or for someone who doesnt truely love me and neither should you. If your ex was your soulmate then it would have worked. When the time is right, you'll find your soulmate and all of this will just be a memory. 2
minime13 Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 Sorry but getting engaged to someone after six weeks together leads me to believe different. Who knows what she is thinking. If, though, she is doing this to get back at you for some reason (I feel that's reaching a bit, and making her present actions a little too much about you and your former relationship), then you can be thankful for getting out when you did. Someone that would use marriage as revenge is not a good person, in my book. 2
Satu Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 Hi all I have this gut feeling that my ex gf is trying to hurt me by her actions. She got engaged to some guy after being with him for six weeks. We had planned marriage and a life together. Mistakes were made on both sides in the relationship but I deeply loved her. I have had mixed thoughts about her true feelings for me but I have accepted that she really did feel the same. We have had no contact at all but I just feel that she is still in love with me and her actions are that of a very upset and vunerable woman. No offence intended, but you seem to be experiencing Ideas of Reference verging on Delusions of Reference. You interpretation of what is happening is bizarre. She has met someone she wants to marry, and they are engaged. That has nothing to do with you. It's not about you. Its about them. 2
Mrin Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 No offence intended, but you seem to be experiencing Ideas of Reference verging on Delusions of Reference. You interpretation of what is happening is bizarre. She has met someone she wants to marry, and they are engaged. That has nothing to do with you. It's not about you. Its about them. This. I didn't want to say it but ya, that's kinda what I see happening here too. I remember one time I was wrapped around the axel about a women I was dating. I broke it off with her for various reasons but there was this intoxicating chemistry between us. We did the friends thing for about 2 months but that clearly wasn't working out as we were like magnets every time we had any contact. I was reading all of her actions and FB posts as somehow they meant to send me signals or get back at me. I finally cut all contact and now that I look back, I chuckle at my delusion. 1
na49 Posted May 7, 2015 Posted May 7, 2015 It's pretty natural to do what you are doing, but I agree with everyone else. She may have been with him for 6 weeks before getting engaged, but I'm sure they were in contact before, and she obviously was interested in him while she was with you. Even if she met him after she dumped you, she still dumped you. Is she in love with him? Obviously enough to be engaged to him, but no one can tell you if their relationship will ever turn into anything or not. The idea that she is trying to get back at you is just stupid though. You are in denial like every other person who had their relationship end. 1
Author totenkopf Posted May 8, 2015 Author Posted May 8, 2015 Ouch! That is alot to bear so soon after a break-up. The only thing I can say to you is that you need to let her go and make her own choices. She is responsible for her own choices and if this ends up ruining her life then, sadly, thats her burden to bear. Whoever is feeding you this info on her needs to stop. You dont need to hear any of this. Erase this prrson from your present and future and leave her in the past. Im sure she did love you but you need to remember that its over now. My ex of a year ago got engaged a few months after we split and my recent relationship has failed but I dont let it get to me. I wont settle for something that doesnt work and doesnt make me happy or for someone who doesnt truely love me and neither should you. If your ex was your soulmate then it would have worked. When the time is right, you'll find your soulmate and all of this will just be a memory. Thanks Hollypolly Yeah I agree there is no point to even think about what she is doing now it is just really strange the events of how things have turned out. I feel that to go from planning marriage with one person then jumping to the next and doing the same is just a little odd.
dangerbang Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Thanks Hollypolly Yeah I agree there is no point to even think about what she is doing now it is just really strange the events of how things have turned out. I feel that to go from planning marriage with one person then jumping to the next and doing the same is just a little odd. Note how you only respond to the answer you wanted
Author totenkopf Posted May 8, 2015 Author Posted May 8, 2015 Note how you only respond to the answer you wanted Sorry didn't mean to be rude. I am grateful for everyones opinions and have taken into account all that has been said to me. Its just different people give different thoughts on things so I think I just have to erase her from my memory. The whole way she carried on was very dishonest and not the actions of someone who feels the way she claimed to about someone. I guess I have not really lost anything in truth.
dangerbang Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Sorry didn't mean to be rude. I am grateful for everyones opinions and have taken into account all that has been said to me. Its just different people give different thoughts on things so I think I just have to erase her from my memory. The whole way she carried on was very dishonest and not the actions of someone who feels the way she claimed to about someone. I guess I have not really lost anything in truth. Mate she's just an arsehole. You just have to accept that some people are like that. I keep saying this to people but really, focus on your own shortcomings, and not hers.
Author totenkopf Posted May 8, 2015 Author Posted May 8, 2015 Mate she's just an arsehole. You just have to accept that some people are like that. I keep saying this to people but really, focus on your own shortcomings, and not hers. Dangerbang Thanks lol yeah simply put she is just an arsehole. Yeah I have my cons but I did so much for this woman and her family and I really feel that although I am not perfect I was an amazing boyfriend to her.
dangerbang Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Dangerbang Thanks lol yeah simply put she is just an arsehole. Yeah I have my cons but I did so much for this woman and her family and I really feel that although I am not perfect I was an amazing boyfriend to her. You and me both brother. Then they f*cked off. Their loss my friend. Now pull your trousers up and get on with it!
Author totenkopf Posted May 8, 2015 Author Posted May 8, 2015 You and me both brother. Then they f*cked off. Their loss my friend. Now pull your trousers up and get on with it! Yeah you are right I know she won't find anyone better and shes lost. I can easily do better than her lol.
dangerbang Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Yeah you are right I know she won't find anyone better and shes lost. I can easily do better than her lol. Well don't think about her being lost or who she's going to find for a start
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