Spaander Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 From August I had contact with one of the best friends of my sister. She is four years older. She contacted me a week after we saw each other for the first time. The interest was mutual and we had sincere a bonding with each other, we talked into the night about everything. From the beginning she said she couldn't cross the line to be with a sibling of a friend, because thats a line you cannot exceed. She broke with her boyfriend who abused her both physically and psychologically a few months before tho. In our contact was a lot of flirting forward, but somehow I felt that she would still go back to her ex and this happened. We were talking about it and sometimes she said she would not go back because she said it was too much drama but at the end she was back with him. (I expected)She never said that she was back with her ex, my sister had told me that. I went NC directly after this, but after one month I contacted her, and she feeled like I neglected her for not responding to her messages, so she initiate less than before. After a few weeks it was even tho. After this I wanted to meet her for the first time. She already told me that she would love to meet me and have lunch with me during our convo's. On that particular day I asked if she wanted to go to the library with me, but she did not want to, cause she was studying home. That day I myself went to the bieb..and I saw her... with her ex. I was really madThese day, I could not restrain myself, because I had expected her to return to her ex and that she would do anything for him, but she had dissed me for him . We then discussed this a couple of hours and she apologized at the beginning telling me she was really sorry and we could meet up whenever I wanted, and that her ex came suddenly from another (2 hours away) town to the city she lives and it was unexpected. But I kept on being angry at her. My sister had to intervene between us and their friendship fell almost apart through this fight. After the fight, we both had discussed it and she accepted my anger and I her apology. We had meet eachother after the fight and had lunch. She said to me that because of the fight and the loyality between her and my sister, she couldnt have contact with me anymore. We were in an advanced stage where we could not continue. She admitted that she felt attracted to me and what we had was a weird bonding, but she had a different perspective than I have. My perspective is that I do not see her as a friend of my sister, because she came so fast in my life. And she doesnt want to end up with me and break the friendship with my sister, who is her best friend. A few months after we had contacted against the rules and we dated off this one time, and we hit it really of. It was behind my sisters back tho...and after this we wanted to date eachother again..because we like the contact that much. I waited too long for the second date..we still had contact, but at the end she said that if we are going to meet up again, then there is never coming an end to our contact. The line was crossed. We have a lot of kino during convo's and I can kiss her on her cheek without a problem and hold her hand. After all of this, at this moment I have a feeling of of 'if you would have really liked me, you'd still go completely for me, so why didn't you do that? ". She could not take back her ex she said earlier to me because everyone would be an obstacle, but she did it. But to me she didn't want to, because she found the loyality to my sister important. My question is: What do you guys think, does she really liked me? I also made a move and tried to kiss her, and then we had an argument and she said she couldnt do that..because she couldnt look at my sister if she did....and her boyfriend would also became very upset about this.
hunk Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 She wants her ex not you and is going to end up with him no matter what happens between you, she's just using you and keeping you on the side while she sorts out wtf is going on with her emotions towards her ex (she's trying to align them with her strong physical attraction towards him that overrides any emotions she has for you). Disappear. "She could not take back her ex she said earlier to me because everyone would be an obstacle, but she did it. But to me she didn't want to, because she found the loyality to my sister important." ^ This is complete total bs that supports my argument and you should see it that way too or you're going to keep hurting yourself for someone who doesn't care about a relationship with you
Author Spaander Posted May 2, 2015 Author Posted May 2, 2015 (edited) She wants her ex not you and is going to end up with him no matter what happens between you, she's just using you and keeping you on the side while she sorts out wtf is going on with her emotions towards her ex (she's trying to align them with her strong physical attraction towards him that overrides any emotions she has for you). Disappear. "She could not take back her ex she said earlier to me because everyone would be an obstacle, but she did it. But to me she didn't want to, because she found the loyality to my sister important." ^ This is complete total bs that supports my argument and you should see it that way too or you're going to keep hurting yourself for someone who doesn't care about a relationship with you Excuse me, but what do mean by 'she trying...any emotions she has for you..' Something else...I have this bitter feeling..like I want to say to my sister how she really is and how she only liked my attention and things... I'm 5 years younger than her and psychilly I'm not very strong or something, If I changed that, could it be that she will like me more? Edited May 2, 2015 by Spaander
dave_1966 Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 Excuse me, but what do mean by 'she trying...any emotions she has for you..' Something else...I have this bitter feeling..like I want to say to my sister how she really is and how she only liked my attention and things... I'm 5 years younger than her and psychilly I'm not very strong or something, If I changed that, could it be that she will like me more? Nothing you can do right now will change the situation, Hunk is right. The best thing you can do is look for another girl and get over this.
Author Spaander Posted May 2, 2015 Author Posted May 2, 2015 Nothing you can do right now will change the situation, Hunk is right. The best thing you can do is look for another girl and get over this. But should I still let her be friends with my sister?...after this...because that feeling of bitter is eating me up...and I don't want to make stupid decisions on taking revenge and childish stuff
Author Spaander Posted May 2, 2015 Author Posted May 2, 2015 Just dont know what to do..feel so bitterd..I hate this feeling..
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