swimmergirl2010 Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 I've been feeling super down about this "relationship" I've been having and think I could use either a strong dose or reality or just some encouraging words. First, I'm 26 (female) and he's 27. I met him through school but he's graduating soon, I knew that from the beginning. Honestly, I wasn't that into him when we first met but his personality grew on me. I really didn't think he was even that attractive, and truth be told I think I'm out of his league looks wise. He's kinda short and probably not handsome by any stretch, but he's funny and fun to be around. We started hooking up, and he told me from the beginning that he would be leaving soon and he didn't want to do a LDR, which I understand completely. However, I want to make the most of his last month left and I'd like to continue seeing him... however, lately I feel like he's been blowing me off and it still hurts even though I knew he'd be leaving and didn't want long-term commitment. Somehow, I feel like there must be something wrong with me that he's just not that into me anymore. He told me last week that he wanted to take me out for a nice dinner and then didn't initiate planning it, but when I texted him about it he made reservations and picked me up and we had a nice time at dinner. We then planned to hang out one evening this week but I felt like he was sort of blowing me off. I had to text him to ask if we were still hanging out, and his response is always "absolutely" but then he cancelled on me last night (first time he's cancelled on me to be fair) because he said he was sick and had to pack. I guess I believe that, he also had to wake up at 5 am to get to the airport. He left early this morning for a week long vacation with his buddies and so since he cancelled on me, that means I won't have seen him for 2 weeks (this past week and next). I was pretty hurt when he cancelled and asked to talk to him on the phone, I asked him if he really wanted to continue this and he kept saying yes and that he'd call me this week. I don't know if I was being too clingy? Should I have just respected that he wasn't feeling well and said I'd see him next week? I just felt pretty down that I wouldn't get to see him all week and like he'll probably forgot about me by the time he gets back. I asked him if he really meant that or if I should just move on and he insisted that he did really want to see me when he got back. I just don't know what to believe. I woke up this morning feeling pretty ****ty about it and like he's just using me until he leaves. I told him that I didn't understand why he wouldn't want to see me before he left for a week and he said he was really just not feeling well and had thrown up. Am I just being really selfish here? I don't know what to do and feel like I really want to keep seeing him but can't tell if he actually wants to keep seeing me. He'll say we're going to do things and then they don't happen unless I text him. He said we would hang out when he got back and that we'd make concrete plans. But I feel like our conversation last night wasn't very pleasant and not sure if he will actually want to see me again. I would just like to have a chance to say goodbye to him before he moves away for good. Am I just being an idiot here? Is there anything I can say to him to improve the situation? I feel like if he'd just show a little more emotion about me I'd feel better.
Clarence_Boddicker Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 Dunno. I know I wanted to spend as much time with my ex before I left, even though things were going south. Maybe he's preparing himself for when he's gonna be gone.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 I think he's trying to put some distance there because he knows it won't be easy he finally leaves. I think he doesn't want to hurt you, but he's pulling back. You already know he doesn't want to continue after he leaves, and it wouldn't be wise to get closer in the time leading up to his departure. I imagine that he still likes you and wants see you occasionally, but he also sees the reality here. I think you'd be wise to step back and let him come to you. You need to start detaching too, for your own well-being. Otherwise his upcoming move will hurt a lot more.
Recommended Posts