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Any one else take a while to open up sexually?

Hopeful30

By Hopeful30
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Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

Posted
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Not sure if im old school or if im really a "prude", but as much as I love sex, it takes me a while to get comfortable around someone. I invited a guy over to hang out, just to test him out and see if we get along, and only an hour into it he made a move and i was like "woah buddy, what are you doing?"

 

He reacted harshly and was surprised that I wasnt like that. Is this how modern day sex life is? You just get together and bang? No conversational foreplay? No few hang outs before?

 

Seems cold to me.

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fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

Posted
Posted

Some women are funny. They don't want to have sex right away, but they keep inviting guys over to their place. :laugh:

 

As I've said to other women on here, if you know that it takes you awhile, keep the dates in public until you're ready. It's that simple.

  • Like 4
SingleDude Member

SingleDude

Posted
Posted
Not sure if im old school or if im really a "prude", but as much as I love sex, it takes me a while to get comfortable around someone. I invited a guy over to hang out, just to test him out and see if we get along, and only an hour into it he made a move and i was like "woah buddy, what are you doing?"

 

He reacted harshly and was surprised that I wasnt like that. Is this how modern day sex life is? You just get together and bang? No conversational foreplay? No few hang outs before?

 

Seems cold to me.

 

So you invite a guy over then act surprised he made a move.

 

 

You're funny.

  • Like 2
jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

Posted
Posted

Inviting someone over in itself isn't an invitation to get jumped. Dating can be casual - watching tv or whatever. As long as you don't lead him on there's nothing wrong with doing that.

 

Some guys get easily confused about things though, so if this guy was one of them, yeah, you possibly should have used a bit more discretion. ;)

 

You're not abnormal tho hon, lots of women aren't into the jump into bed early routine.

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Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

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So you invite a guy over then act surprised he made a move.

 

 

You're funny.

 

How else do you get acquainted with someone? Shouting over loud music at some club?

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jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

Posted
Posted
How else do you get acquainted with someone? Shouting over loud music at some club?

 

Are those really your only 2 options?

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Phoe Established Member

Phoe

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I take my time as well.

 

Could be anything from the 3rd date to as far as several months down the line.

 

I'd rather a first time be more comfortable and open, rather than with a strange man who I'm lucky even remembers my name.

 

I do prefer the conversational foreplay to start with.

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fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

Posted
Posted

I don't have an issue with women wanting to take it slow. I personally don't like to have sex right away either.

 

But if you know you're not ready, it's a good idea to not put yourself in a position where a guy can make a move. Plus, early on, watching TV together isn't getting to know someone. It's just like going to the movie theater on a first date. Thinking about it logically, the only reason why you'd want to be alone with someone new for the first time is to escalate things.

 

However, the main complaint seems to be that these guys don't know jack about seduction. Instead of going for the kill, I like taking my time. Getting a woman to the point where she's practically begging to have sex is just as hot as sex itself IMO. Like I said in another thread, it's like baking a cake. You have to leave the oven shut long enough for it to fully inflate.

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Satu Established Member

Satu

Posted
Posted

It is nice if you know the person you're in bed with...

  • Like 6
fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

Posted
Posted
How else do you get acquainted with someone? Shouting over loud music at some club?

 

Anything in good company can be a date. Hell you could take a deck of Uno cards to an ice cream parlor and split a milkshake while playing cards and talking. You can go on a hike, do indoor rock climbing, do activity dates like bowling, mini golf, pool, darts, etc.. You can go for a long drive that ends in a twilight picnic and star gazing, go to free festivals, etc.. There are tons of options. I think part of the problem is that people have such an "in the box" mindset with date planning and run out of ideas after 2-3 dates.

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SingleDude Member

SingleDude

Posted
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How else do you get acquainted with someone? Shouting over loud music at some club?

 

You can't be serious.

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Phoe Established Member

Phoe

Posted
Posted

However, the main complaint seems to be that these guys don't know jack about seduction. Instead of going for the kill, I like taking my time. Getting a woman to the point where she's practically begging to have sex is just as hot as sex itself IMO. Like I said in another thread, it's like baking a cake. You have to leave the oven shut long enough for it to fully inflate.

 

It is far more mentally stimulating to take one's time. I love for a man to show restraint. Get to know me, talk to me, flirt with me, build it up over time. Being patient, never pushing, while still making me feel desired. This will get me to open up, to trust, and be comfortable.

 

 

I am sure most would agree sex is much better with a partner who trusts you and is comfortable, than with someone who feels anxious, pressured, and skeptical.

  • Like 2
BlackOpsZombieGirl Established Member

BlackOpsZombieGirl

Posted
Posted
Not sure if im old school or if im really a "prude", but as much as I love sex, it takes me a while to get comfortable around someone. I invited a guy over to hang out, just to test him out and see if we get along, and only an hour into it he made a move and i was like "woah buddy, what are you doing?"

 

He reacted harshly and was surprised that I wasnt like that. Is this how modern day sex life is? You just get together and bang? No conversational foreplay? No few hang outs before?

 

Seems cold to me.

 

Okay. You invited a complete STRANGER to YOUR HOUSE...and you expected him to be respectful and NOT make a move to have sex with you?!?:confused:

 

Are you out of your freakin' MIND??????

 

If you DON'T want a guy to be thinking about getting between your legs right away, then you need to keep ALL of the dates you go out on IN a PUBLIC SETTING, period. Omg, I would NEVER EVER "invite" a strange guy over to my HOUSE, until I've known him for quite a while and until we were EXCLUSIVE!!!! But, that's just me. I'm always VERY careful about things like this.

 

 

 

.

  • Like 4
fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

Posted
Posted
It is far more mentally stimulating to take one's time. I love for a man to show restraint. Get to know me, talk to me, flirt with me, build it up over time. Being patient, never pushing, while still making me feel desired. This will get me to open up, to trust, and be comfortable.

 

 

I am sure most would agree sex is much better with a partner who trusts you and is comfortable, than with someone who feels anxious, pressured, and skeptical.

 

This is actually why I like doing public dates in the beginning. There will always be spots of privacy here and there where you can pull her in for a kiss, get a little aggressive, etc.. But since it's in public, you're usually giving a woman space,getting to know her, etc.. So the combo of sexual tension and restraint, is what makes a woman's anticipation go up.

 

Even after I have a woman to my place the first few times, I don't like having full on sex though. My main focus when it heats up is just to have foreplay and learn about her body. That way when sex does happen, her anticipation is sky high and I know what works her up. In other words, it will be a great first time. Unlike rushing into sex on dates 1-3.

BlackOpsZombieGirl Established Member

BlackOpsZombieGirl

Posted
Posted
Inviting someone over in itself isn't an invitation to get jumped. Dating can be casual - watching tv or whatever. As long as you don't lead him on there's nothing wrong with doing that.

 

Some guys get easily confused about things though, so if this guy was one of them, yeah, you possibly should have used a bit more discretion. ;)

 

You're not abnormal tho hon, lots of women aren't into the jump into bed early routine.

 

This is the first time that I've ever disagreed with anything you've posted, Jen. I think there's PLENTY WRONG with any woman "inviting" a COMPLETE STRANGER into their HOME...even if it's for a "casual evening" like "watching tv or whatever"! What if this stranger decides to TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HER, or RAPE HER...or KILL HER??? Even if he doesn't do it that night - he would KNOW where SHE LIVES...and could GO BACK to her HOUSE at ANY time to do WHATEVER he wanted to her - especially if she TURNED HIM DOWN the first time!!!

 

Sorry, I just think this is a HUGE MISTAKE for ANY woman to do. They should only let a guy know where she lives when she's known him for a while and they've become exclusive. I realize not every guy is a rapist or a murderer...but um, that's the thing...a woman will NEVER KNOW *which* guys are decent and harmless...and which ones are DANGEROUS or are the STALKERISH type!

 

 

 

.

  • Like 1
Photofinish Established Member

Photofinish

Posted
Posted
Not sure if im old school or if im really a "prude", but as much as I love sex, it takes me a while to get comfortable around someone. I invited a guy over to hang out, just to test him out and see if we get along, and only an hour into it he made a move and i was like "woah buddy, what are you doing?"

 

He reacted harshly and was surprised that I wasnt like that. Is this how modern day sex life is? You just get together and bang? No conversational foreplay? No few hang outs before?

 

Seems cold to me.

 

No it's not strange. It's called being a decent human being.

  • Like 3
SingleDude Member

SingleDude

Posted
Posted
Inviting someone over in itself isn't an invitation to get jumped. Dating can be casual - watching tv or whatever. As long as you don't lead him on there's nothing wrong with doing that.

 

Some guys get easily confused about things though, so if this guy was one of them, yeah, you possibly should have used a bit more discretion. ;)

 

You're not abnormal tho hon, lots of women aren't into the jump into bed early routine.

 

Sorry but no. Just...no.

guest569 Established Member

guest569

Posted
Posted

Hey OP, I think the fact he reacted harshly is one of they very reasons it pays to get to know someone. 1 hour is not exactly taking things 'slowly'. If a man thinks going to your house automatically means sex, that is his problem.

  • Like 3
guest569 Established Member

guest569

Posted
Posted
Sorry, I just think this is a HUGE MISTAKE for ANY woman to do. They should only let a guy know where she lives when she's known him for a while ...

 

Also, this is important. Whilst I disagree with posters who think the man is entitled to sex because he is in the woman's home, I think you need to be a bit more careful OP. He could turn out to be a psycho. Get to know him a bit beforehand and you can make a more informed decision on whether to give your address!

  • Like 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Established Member

Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646

Posted
Posted

Sorry ladies but if you're dating a guy with romantic interests and you go into his home (or invite him into yours), you should EXPECT them to make a move on you if they have any balls.

 

When a girl invites us in, its basically code-word for lets make out and have sex.

 

You shouldn't invite a guy into your home if you're not willing to get to at least 2nd base.

  • Like 2
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Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

Posted
  • Author
Posted
So you invite a guy over then act surprised he made a move.

 

 

You're funny.

 

Okay. You invited a complete STRANGER to YOUR HOUSE...and you expected him to be respectful and NOT make a move to have sex with you?!?:confused:

 

Are you out of your freakin' MIND??????

 

If you DON'T want a guy to be thinking about getting between your legs right away, then you need to keep ALL of the dates you go out on IN a PUBLIC SETTING, period. Omg, I would NEVER EVER "invite" a strange guy over to my HOUSE, until I've known him for quite a while and until we were EXCLUSIVE!!!! But, that's just me. I'm always VERY careful about things like this.

 

 

 

.

 

Its interesting that without much detail, this thread has conjured a conclusion that the guy was a stranger, that I dont live in a small town where everyone knows where I live anyways, and that I just met this guy.

 

Maybe this isnt the right place to seek advice ...

  • Like 2
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Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Sorry ladies but if you're dating a guy with romantic interests and you go into his home (or invite him into yours), you should EXPECT them to make a move on you if they have any balls.

 

When a girl invites us in, its basically code-word for lets make out and have sex.

 

You shouldn't invite a guy into your home if you're not willing to get to at least 2nd base.

 

Dumbest thing Ive ever heard. How old are you?

  • Like 2
jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

Posted
Posted

Sorry barcode but that is a little silly. I have plenty of personal experience that says otherwise, which just goes to show that all this 'rulebook' stuff really is subjective.

  • Like 3
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Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

Posted
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Sorry barcode but that is a little silly. I have plenty of personal experience that says otherwise, which just goes to show that all this 'rulebook' stuff really is subjective.

 

Exactly. No wonder he made a move like that, hes going by all this "by the book" nonsense.

SingleDude Member

SingleDude

Posted
Posted
Its interesting that without much detail, this thread has conjured a conclusion that the guy was a stranger, that I dont live in a small town where everyone knows where I live anyways, and that I just met this guy.

 

Maybe this isnt the right place to seek advice ...

 

Maybe be more descriptive in your initial posts first. That might help.

  • Like 1
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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