Still living at home at 30 years old.

[DatingDirection]

I'm just wondering how many people do you know, who are in their early 30's, who still live at home? What is prohibiting them from leaving their parents home? I'm also wondering how people find the job market? Are there opportunities out their for people in their 30's? My sense is that, everything that that was new, has already been done and established. For example, in the 90's it was the information technology boom, that created a lot of jobs for young professionals. In education, we have a lot of young graduates who are looking for jobs in this field, yet are unable to find work. Is it because there are too many people in that industry who should be retired by now, but they wont leave, and make room for the new pool of professionals? Those are just 2 industries, as an example. Are there many industries like this ? Are there opportunities out there for young professionals and it's just a matter of hard work to break into the working world? Like everything, I believe it is hard work, finding a job, is a full time job in itself. However times are changing, and im wondering if it's the environment that is not allowing for new positions, new talent, and new ventures? So I guess this is a 2 part question: 1) how many young professionals do you know who live at home, and why are they living at home if they do, and 2) What does the job market look like to you? Thank you so much for all your response.

[PegNosePete]

Zero. I know a lot of peopl in their 30's and not a single one lives with their parents.

[DatingDirection]

I personally know at least 6 people who are in their 30's and still live at home. I feel like I cannot relate to them at all. I see them going on trips, or just having moved into a new house or condo, with the help of their parents, while I don't live that lavishly. I'm just wondering how they do it, how do they get to live the lavish lifestyle they live?

Edited May 1, 2015 by DatingDirection
typo

[No Limit]

A few of the people in my the company my mom works at (although they are in 'lower levels'). One of them lived with his mom until his 50's (she died a few years ago), now he lives alone in that house which looks more like a ruin by now. And a few women who lived with their parents their whole life and even built their own family around their original home -- my mom once told me how one of those women told her own mother "When you die, I'll turn your room into a computre bureau". What the hell?

[DatingDirection]

What the hell is right, lol. What a crazy thing to say.

[eye of the storm]

I know 2 people in their 30s that live at home. One does to help his parents who are having some health/financial issues. He owns his own home though and is currently renting it out. He works hard and is a great guy. The other person I know is sucking off her parents and sits around complaining about how hard life is and how everything is stacked against her.

 

Many cultures have adult children living with them so for me that alone is not a deal breaker. For me it is more are you contributing or draining.

 

As far as job hunting goes, yes it is a full time job and it sucks big time. But it is necessary. There are resources out there to help you track the "on-fire" industries. But unless you are going into something that has been stagnant for years with no hope of coming out of it, I would recommend you find an industry that will also make you happy.

[DatingDirection]

How did he get to own his home? What field is he in, did he have any financial help from his parents in order to own his home?

[GorillaTheater]

How did he get to own his home? What field is he in, did he have any financial help from his parents in order to own his home?

 

I'll tell you how I did it, and I'd recommend this route to anybody:

 

I bought my first house at age 30. It was a repossession, needed work, and it was cheap. As in Dirt F*cking Cheap. I sold it 5 years later for twice what I put into it and upgraded significantly (to another repossession). 18 years later, that house is worth three times what I paid for it.

 

Repos. Look into them.

[DatingDirection]

Thanks, but the houses in the city I live in are going for at least 2 million dollars. I have no idea how people can afford these homes? I saw that rent in L.A for a 2 bedroom apartment is 900 per month, that's what I pay for my flat, which is less than half the size of that 2 bedroom apartment. Wtf is wrong with my city?

Edited May 1, 2015 by DatingDirection
typo

[GorillaTheater]

Thanks, but the houses in the city I live in are going for at least 2 million dollars. I have no idea how people can afford these homes? I saw that rent in L.A for a 2 bedroom apartment is 900 per month, that's what I pay for my flat, which is less than half the size of that 2 bedroom apartment. Wtf is wrong with my city?

 

Yeah, that's an issue. I was talking to a guy from San Diego just last night about the insane California real estate market.

[eye of the storm]

No his parents were never well off. Everything he has he got on his own. He spent a lot of time in college working and networking. People saw his work ethic and mentored him. He graduated and started in the entry level of his field (IT) and while working a second job got every cert he could get his hands on. It seemed with each cert, he got a bump at work.

 

He saw a house that needed some TLC (had good bones just needed some cosmetic work), he bought it and 2 years later his dad started having health issues that required more help than his mom could give so he rented out his house and moved back in with them.

 

Nothing fancy, nothing anybody else couldn't do, just time and hard work.

[DatingDirection]

You see though, he was also in the I.T industry. While I applaud him, and anyone else that works so hard, what can you say about other industries? I myself need to upgrade my education, although I have SO MUCH EXPERIENCE, I keep getting the door closed on me b/c I have a diploma and not a degree. I have all the skills though. I'm not complaining im just simply, wanting to understand so that I can grow and work on whatever it is I need to work on, that's why im asking the question, and again I don't live with my parents, I just know so many people my age that do, and they seem to have it all, and I wonder what do they have, that I don't. are they hiding the fact that the reason why they get to travel is b/c they save their pennies, b/c they don't pay rent? What do you guys think?

[eye of the storm]

I myself need to upgrade my education, although I have SO MUCH EXPERIENCE, I keep getting the door closed on me b/c I have a diploma and not a degree. I have all the skills though. I'm not complaining im just simply, wanting to understand so that I can grow and work on whatever it is I need to work on

 

Mentoring. Find a mentor, (a boss or someone in the same field you work in) and ask them how to better succeed.

 

Education. You yourself say you need more education so go out there and get it.

 

Network. Find professional groups in your field, join and participate.

 

I don't care what industry you are in. The above suggestions are valid.

 

On a side note, stop worrying about why others live at home. I know people that sneeze and fall backward into cash. That is them. I can sneeze all day long and all it will do for me is make me run out of tissue. You worry about you.

[DatingDirection]

Mentoring. Find a mentor, (a boss or someone in the same field you work in) and ask them how to better succeed.

 

 

 

Network. Find professional groups in your field, join and participate.

 

 

 

On a side note, stop worrying about why others live at home. I know people that sneeze and fall backward into cash. That is them. I can sneeze all day long and all it will do for me is make me run out of tissue. You worry about you.

 

It seems as though, these people are threatened by me. No one wants to be a mentor, because they are threatened I will take their job from them. Be realistic, yes those are all amazing suggestions, but don't be naïve and suggest that people are welcoming people with open arms to mentor others out of the goodness of their hearts. People are selfish, and are fearful, and think everyone will take their jobs away from them, when they see a hard worker, that knows their stuff, and reaches out for someone to mentor them.

Edited May 1, 2015 by DatingDirection
typo

[eye of the storm]

Either you work with some very not nice people or you are putting them off with an attitude you may not be aware of. I have had people in almost every place I worked that I could go to and get advice from.

 

And naïve is one thing I haven't been called in years.

 

Yes some people are selfish, fearful, and hoard information. But they are not the kind of people you would want to mentor you anyway.

 

I would be more willing to bet on your attitude was more of an issue than they are threatened by you.

 

Try just asking questions, like: how did you get into the position you are in? What education would you recommend? What groups do you hold membership in?

 

And if you truly work in a toxic place where nobody is willing to work with you then find a mentor in a professional group outside of your company but within your industry.

 

Stop finding roadblocks and start looking for work arounds. If I were mentoring you that would be where I would start with you. Attitude.

[DatingDirection]

I'm very respectful and open minded. So my attitude is not the problem. Like you said, it can very well be that there are people out there who are fearful and selfish. It has nothing to do with my attitude. You made the suggestion, to get a mentor, and my response to you was, people are not always keen on mentoring for the number of reasons I mentioned to you. Then after, you agreed with me, you state that im looking for obstacles, and it could very well be my attitude.

[eye of the storm]

In my many years of working (too many) the people who I have seen (this is just my experience) have trouble finding or keeping a mentor came off to other people as either aggressive or with a "better-than" attitude.

 

I love mentoring my junior guys. One tells me at least once a month he is after my job. That's fine, I'm after my boss's job. There is one kid I won't mentor. Every time I give him a suggestion it is either downplayed, others are blamed or he acts like he is better than me. So, he wonders why others are starting to pass him by. I, and others, mentor these kids and tell them of opportunities, give suggestions on what we have seen that works, and offer feedback on work attitudes/ethics. The ones that want to succeed take everything we throw at them and move up. We have lost some because they advanced too fast for our team so they found outside opportunities that allowed them to move up faster. They are now starting to mentor others.

 

I have often said that I can teach skills but you have to come to me with the right attitude.

 

I mentioned your attitude because of your response

these people are threatened by me. No one wants to be a mentor, BLAMING OTHERS Be realistic, ...don't be naïve INSULTING SOMONE OFFERING ADVICE People are selfish, and are fearful, and think everyone will take their jobs away from them, when they see a hard worker, that knows their stuff, and reaches out for someone to mentor them. ACTING BETTER THAN OTHERS

 

Remember, if you are better than them and a harder worker, you wouldn't need a mentor.

 

It is always easier to blame others when you hit a wall. I know I did it when I was younger. But with age and good mentors I learned how to take advice and criticisms and to not let a wall stop me. I learned how to go over/go around/go under/or use explosives to blast thru. I also learned it is not how I view my attitudes it is how others view my attitudes. Unless you are working in a vacuum, you must learn how to work collaboratively.

[preraph]

Usually it's their parents didn't do their job and raise them to be adults but instead tried to keep them being children. Do NOT get involved with a 30-year-old baby!! They're the worst in every way, and you will never be number one; Mommy will have final say on everything. A person has to be independent enough to leave home or they have failed to reach a normal step in development. Until they are prepared to do that and be self-sufficient, they are simply not adults.

 

And if you are a 30-year-old still tied to your parents, time to move out discover who you really are. You truly cannot develop without getting away from parental influence. You can't.

Edited May 1, 2015 by preraph

[devilish innocent]

I know a couple of people in their 30s who still love at home. One just went to school for baking a couple of years ago. I don't know what the job market is for that. The other just works a retail job. I don't know if either of them are very concerned about getting out of the house.

 

The number of people in the US who filed for unemployment just hit a 15-year-low. I don't think you can say we're in a "bad economy" anymore. I also think the effect of a bad economy on the job search gets exaggerated sometimes. It can be hard to get a good job in any economy.

 

I wonder about people who live with their parents and live pretty extravagantly as well. I know a couple in their 20s who live with one partner's dad. They are constantly taking vacations, often flying across the country. I lived with my parents when I was their age, so I don't judge them for that. However, it's weird to me that they expect their parent to support their mate as well. I would never have dared to even ask my parents for that. Then, it also seems weird that they feel entitled to take that many vacations.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Well the IT field boomed, and then collapsed and a lot of heads were put on the chopping block.

 

Good jobs were easy to come by and plentiful in the beginning, even without a ton of experience or education. But nowadays it's completely different, there's a lot of competition and they're not even going to pay you a decent wage for it...and expectations are high, and the education is definitely required.

 

As far as people living at home till 30, I've seen a lot of people stay at home to save money and put themselves in a better financial situation. They were able to lead easier lives, travel, take expensive trips, buy brand new cars and look like they had it all together...except for living at home. Eventually these people ended up in a relationship/married and moved on, and because of the money they were able to save they were able to buy a house (or they might also receive financial assistance from parents) and some were able to move into the house the parents gave them as the parents moved somewhere else. But usually a lot of financial help from parents as well as being able to help themselves with their education and finding a good job. Now they just look like really independent people who did it all themselves, whereas if they had been alone, life almost certainly would have went differently for them...but good for them, we're not all dealt the same cards, there's no reason to be "jealous" because everybody has their problems, and I personally wouldn't have wanted their lives, but it worked for them.

 

Other people lived at home because they were dependent and never really grew up to living on their own. But in Los Angeles, you need to have a solid job to move out on your own, unless you want to live in a not so great neighborhood where crime rate is pretty decent, it's a shady area. Or you could opt to live way far and away from the city and have a decent place out there, you'll just have to drive a few hours or so getting to work.

 

I don't know anyone who is 30 without a job, and had they lived in another city, they would have been "independent" as anyone else because the rent would be a lot cheaper and their jobs are sufficient enough to have their own place, there, just not here.

 

Still to be 30's and living at home is just not a good sign, although Los Angeles is very expensive to live in (not San Francisco prices but it's up there) and can't really be compared to living out in Europe from what I've seen or in some small town somewhere in the US, where I'm sure life would've been much easier in terms of being "independent"...you still should move out and be on your "own", even if being on your own means having a roommate.

 

There are tons of people renting out rooms in Los Angeles, from their homes, or just people living together.

 

I've spent a lot of time out in the big world of Los Angeles in many different areas, I know how the richest and the poorest people live, and people have all kinds of weird living arrangements and definitely share homes together at any social economical level.

 

I also know blocks where people have all lost their homes and moved out to somewhere else...the thing about Los Angeles, is nobody really necessarily can "afford" anything, like to buy...most people are living way above their means and could lose it all fairly quickly. I think if people were actually realistic about their finances and weren't pressured by the social competitiveness and such, people would be living completely different...but everyone wants to live in a nice home, in a nice area, with a nice car...so there's sacrifices to that kind of lifestyle (welcome to capitalism), and therefore you must work work work everyday just to keep the monster alive that you can barely "afford".

[SerCay]

They're the worst in every way, and you will never be number one; Mommy will have final say on everything. A person has to be independent enough to leave home or they have failed to reach a normal step in development. Until they are prepared to do that and be self-sufficient, they are simply not adults.

 

^

THIS. IS. SO. TRUE.

 

When involved with a guy living with his parents, you'll be like the mistress always. Trust me.

 

On the other hand there's also people like somebody else mentioned, who live with their parents for other reasons. Free will so to say. That's a different story.

[loverboy69]

Thanks, but the houses in the city I live in are going for at least 2 million dollars. I have no idea how people can afford these homes? I saw that rent in L.A for a 2 bedroom apartment is 900 per month, that's what I pay for my flat, which is less than half the size of that 2 bedroom apartment. Wtf is wrong with my city?

 

 

2 Bedroom for only $900 per month in LA? Maybe in the 1980's?

 

That can't be real. Usually in LA you'll find a 1 Bedroom for nearly $2,000 a month unless you are renting in some really run down neighborhood with some private landlord.

[acrosstheuniverse]

Don't know anyone aged 30 who lives with their parents. It's just not normal or right in my culture (atheist, fairly working class, UK). Most kids leave at 18/19 and are gone by their twenties.

 

I wouldn't date someone who lived with their parents unless they were nursing a parent through a serious disease. Even then, I'd wonder if they were in the right place to date. I did have a relationship with a guy when I was 18-22 who lived at home (I left at 19), I wanted to move in after a couple years but he was still tied to how easy he had it at home... even then, he wanted to move out and live with friends instead of me to see what it was like, I waited and waited until we moved in four years into the relationship, when I realised I'd felt like the adult in the relationship and way ahead of him in terms of what I wanted and how ready I was for commitment, and I realised I just couldn't be with a man who didn't know how to clean a bathroom any longer. I do feel that if he'd been more independent and more on my wavelength and willing to move in after a couple years, even three, that we'd have probably gone the distance. But that fundamental difference in independence killed us. Total Momma's boy.

 

I don't expect a guy to have his own place, I know loads of people who house share even into their thirties if they're only staying a couple years somewhere and would rather spend their wages on travel. But as prepath said, a person who is still living with their parents hasn't yet reached a fundamental stage of becoming an adult, and I only date adults. You need to fly the nest to find out who you are, how you cope in the world, what you want, and learn a tonne of basic life skills. You just cannot do those while co-habiting with the same person who fed you baby food and wiped your ass for years.

[Diezel]

I myself need to upgrade my education, although I have SO MUCH EXPERIENCE, I keep getting the door closed on me b/c I have a diploma and not a degree.

 

Then work on this.

Even if it's just an Associates. Do something, anything to improve your situation.

 

Stop worrying about what others are doing, as far as kids being set up by their parents. I could have done the same, I've been living on my own since I was 17 while the sons/daughters of doctors/lawyers were living it up.

 

I just put blinders on and worked on my own life.

[craw]

Zero. I know a lot of peopl in their 30's and not a single one lives with their parents.

 

Don't listen to this person, full of **** . There are many people in their early 30's still living at home.