saladfingers Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 To be honest you were the one who was doing the abusing. Sometimes a person has to call it like it is, if you're being immature then sometimes that's what you need to hear...and just because you don't like it doesn't mean you get to physically assault him. He's better off without you.
saladfingers Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 The fight was stupid. I got mad that he came home from business and didn't stop at work to see me. It just escalated from there. I get upset over dumb things - but if that was why he was leaving me you'd think he would at least tell me it's a whole bunch of reasons. Not just leave me with the guilt of this. He didn't apologize for any of the name calling. Liar was because I said him not visiting after being way equaled to me that he didn't care. Child was because I got upset so easily. Hypocrite - I'm not sure. You hit him. He doesn't have to give you any reasons, that was reason enough. I'd have to really really love a girl to stay with her after knowing she has unpredictable violent tendencies.
chantos Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 The fight was stupid. I got mad that he came home from business and didn't stop at work to see me. no self-respecting man is going to tolerate a fight over something petty like this, then get physically assaulted, and stick around. you need to grow up and chill out, otherwise you're gonna have a tough time in your relationships. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 Why the hell would you want someone like that back? You should make like Tom Hanks and run forrest run!!! In all honesty we don't know what happened. Depending on what she did, his response could have been very appropriate. Nothing he called her was exceptionally slanderous, and she DID hit him. Sometimes when a Woman is being these things you need to nut up and call her out on it.
joseb Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 . You can forgive yourself and then learn from this experience to become a stronger woman and a better partner for someone in the future. You've made a mistake. The way to recover from a mistake is to learn from it and do everything you can to prevent it from happening again. Look at the reasons for your insecurities as well. Do some self-analysis. Embrace all the things you like about yourself and work on the things you don't like about yourself, one at a time. You'll come though all this a wiser, more mature and strong woman This is great advice, and I hope you take it to heart.
saladfingers Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 I understand that, but isn't name calling verbal abuse? Take a step back, look in the mirror, and objectively decide if you are indeed acting like those things. If I call someone a hypocrite or a whining baby, it's because they earned it. That is not verbal abuse, that is calling it like it is. There is a differenc e.
sandylee1 Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 When I look at the the words alone that he said, I would not agree they are abusive, however, if he was saying them in a mean and angry tone of voice it would be hurtful. If he refused to stop after you repeatedly said not to, then he was quite possibly looking to push you to the limit and end the relationship. I don't have my husband speak to me like that and if I tell him he's upsetting me, he wouldn't persist. Why would you want to be with a boyfriend who behaves like this? Remember that dating is your time to find a compatible partner. He WAS NOT that for you. Move on.
GemmaUK Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 Having read your posts OP I get the impression that he has bailed from the relationship because he always ends up in the wrong over petty little things. You say you anger quickly and you get upset easily over small things. Equating him not stopping in to visit you after being away on business to saying it means he doesn't care about you is ridiculous. He could have been exhausted after the trip and keen to get home, needed groceries, had errands to run. He is a person in his own right just as you are and is free to do or should be free to do things he needs to do without you getting upset over it. It sounds like you were being controlling and then trying to guilt trip him by saying he didn't care. The controlling and guilt tripping are signs of an emotional abuser. He wasn't being verbally abusive towards you, he was calling you out but he wasn't verbally abusive at all. More than that and something which worries me is that you appear to be after reassurance that hitting him was justified. Violence is never justified. Justification is something abusers seek as it then dissolves any guilt they feel. 1
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