DivorcedDad123 Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 Its been great for me in my 40's. I was a little shocked after 20 years of marriage. Had sex with every one , except one, after 1-2 dates. A few just invited themselves over to my house for sex without even having a "date". Got laid more dating than the last 4 years of marriage. I can't complain.
fitnessfan365 Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 Sure. And "dvd at my place btw no sex" should shut that code down pretty damn quickly don't you think? Or here's an idea. Simply invite him out for something IN PUBLIC. That is what none of the guys in the thread understand. It isn't the lack of sex. It's why a woman would put herself in that position if she wasn't ready. Unless she wants to watch a DVD, because she's too cheap to plan/pay for an actual date..LOL Looking at it from that aspect, I have to be honest. If I'm planning/paying for a variety of public dates, and her sole interest is in just having a date with no physical, I'd hope she'd put more effort in to match mine.
BluEyeL Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 (edited) Divorced and new to dating. In early 30s but I seem to be attracted to men that are ten or more years older than me. Maybe because my ex was my age and immature. Anyway I haven't dated since my early twenties and wow things have changed! Maybe because of tinder and online dating? I don't use either unless u count Facebook and I don't go looking for dates I just talk to ppl. My recent history is this. Commented on guys pic of his kids on fb. We had been fb friends for years. I used to work with his brother but I'd never met this guy. He struck up a conversation that was very normal and we talked about getting to know u stuff for eight hours straight texting. Talked the next two days and by the fourth day this guy was flirting with me telling me in a joking manner how much lotion he goes thru.. Pleasuring himself. It was funny but kind of shocking that he would share that even if it was to make me laugh. I flirted back and less than a day later he was basically inviting me to have sex with him. We went to dinner and slept together after the 2nd date. Turned out he had a gf. Next guy I knew from work. He immediately wanted to talk about sex which I shut down. Went to dinner and a movie. Second date we watched a dvd at my place. I made it clear no sex. This wasb4 our date. He was very forceful trying to kiss me offering to give me oral and not wanting anything in return. I declined and ended up asking him to leave. He just wouldn't keep his hands off me. Next guy really didn't have any aggressive moves which was nice and I like him but he's non committal. Another guy and I went to dinner and again I was very clear I wasn't going to sleep with him and he kept holding my hand playing with my hair and doing things that were kind of intimate but not sexual. When I went to kiss him bye he practically attacked me kissing me kissing my neck grabbing my ass and acting like we were going to have sex on my porch lol. What ever happened to getting to know each other and having fun? It's like guys expect sex on the first date I started dating at 41 and yes, most men out there at this age are just after sex. But in the above scenarios you set yourself up that way. I've been there. I've done almost every one of those mistakes you did, when I first started dating. Except I didn't sleep with a guy after 2 dates. After about 9 months of practice, which included a 3 month fling, I figured things out. There are a few rules that you need to adhere to to protect yourself from sharks. First of all, you need to have a really high self esteem, care about you first and look out ONLY for your interest. You do not owe anyone who treats you less than outstanding anything. In my days, I came to hate players and a couple of times I've gone out with some JUST to see how they expect physical stuff, are getting nothing and look deflated. I felt really angry and insulted when a guy was sleazy and took it out on the next one. After a while, like I said, I stopped attracting that type all together. Most men I've dated between October 2013 and June 2014 have been respectful, took me only on public dates, and did not get physical until a few (more than 2) dates down the road. And I mean kissing. No sex until in a relationship, which meant no sex because I found my boyfriend in June last year. The way to achieve this is to accept nothing less and not care if they stay or go. For me, it was my way or the highway. And it worked extremely well. So: 1. Absolutely no sex talk before meeting. Drop immediately any man who says anything sexual before even taking you out on a proper date 2. ONLY public dates until you're ready to have sex. You go for a walk, you go to lunch, dinner, picnic, biking...whatever. No movies on the couch. That's boyfriend-girlfriend behavior and you're not in a relationship until at least 3 months of constant dating. 3. Drop immediately any man who doesn't make you his girfriend after 3 months. 4. Drop immediately any man who doesn't ask you out in advance, at least once a week. No wishy washy, no backburner. 5. Do not date separated men. 6. Do not date men who never had a long term relationship. Overall, ask for a lot, it's the only way to get it. If you accept less than great treatment, that's what you're going to get. Insist on romance, getting to know each other slowly and have faith in yourself. Good luck! ps About have sex and have fun. At least for me, board games are "fun", or going to the movies, sex is serious. A lot of women have sex out of low self esteem, not because it's "fun" to sleep with strangers. Edited May 2, 2015 by BluEyeL 4
Gary S Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 This is a common problem in dating, men moving too fast. What guys should be doing is not touching a woman until she touches him first, and just going for the first kiss. When the woman is ready for anything else, believe me, you will know, she's not a child... so just relax. 1
Maleficent Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 Or here's an idea. Simply invite him out for something IN PUBLIC. That is what none of the guys in the thread understand. It isn't the lack of sex. It's why a woman would put herself in that position if she wasn't ready. She was clear sex was off the table, then sex is off the table. Period. That's it. No ifs and buts. Whether they got together in private or in public changes nothing because she made it clear. The guy in this story was being a horny douchebag. I still gets me how consent is a hard concept for some people to grasp.
Mascara Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 Yes it's exactly like the OP, I did OLD for quite a while and the men fell into two camps - not interested or pushing for sex. Eventually I stopped responding to any who gave any hint of being overtly sexual before I'd even met them - it's not my responsibility to slap them down, (I can't stand how some people seem to think it's the mans job to push for sex and the woman's job to control his urges.) So anyway, I started only dating men who seemed interested in me, made no sexual references and dated without pushing. And I'm now engaged, so you know. It does work eventually. You just have to stop dealing with men who talk about how much lotion they get through. 1
lana877 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 My elder sister (35 years old) is tryng online dating. She has a profife on https://kovla.com/datings/us/washington-d.-c./ . Now she is dating a guy she has met there. She said their sex was amazing despite of the fact that he`s 50. So, dating is wonderful at any age.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 My elder sister (35 years old) is tryng online dating. She has a profife on https://kovla.com/datings/us/washington-d.-c./ . Now she is dating a guy she has met there. She said their sex was amazing despite of the fact that he`s 50. So, dating is wonderful at any age. I hope it can be, because it looks more than likely I will miss out on the rest of my 20's
phineas Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 That's funny. I'm 40 and was dating a girl who was 29 and she was sending the nude selfies and thinking relationship last. I think you have it backwards. That's funny cause at 40 and divorced If I didn't have sex on the first date i never heard from them again. I'm 43 and that still rings true.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 My elder sister (35 years old) is tryng online dating. She has a profife on https://kovla.com/datings/us/washington-d.-c./ . Now she is dating a guy she has met there. She said their sex was amazing despite of the fact that he`s 50. So, dating is wonderful at any age. I hope it can be
Recommended Posts